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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

CMs - WWYD?

20 replies

bigpaws · 17/10/2013 12:50

Quickly scouting for opinions while the babies are napping.....

I am a CM and started with a new family in Sept. When we did the contract, I expressed I like having Mondays off in school holidays (as the other 2 I mind on a Mon are Term Time only). Therefore could we have an arrangement of Mondays also being Term Time only. Gives me a long weekend and enables me to spend time with my own DCs.

New Parent wasn't budging and cornered me into agreeing to working 5 days a week in the hols - regardless of the fact I will only have their child on a Mon in the hols, no other mindees.

I should have said 'No', I know this now

Anyway, Half Term next week. Both parents are off work for the week. Not going away - just catching up around the house. Child still coming to me for their days of care. No issue with that, but I am annoyed that I couldn't pre-plan my Mondays off. Surely they could have covered it long term?

2 Parents on leave; child coming to me when we already discussed my requirements.

I'm not working over Xmas so that isn't an issue now. But can I be brave enough to say 'actually, I have been thinking and I can only offer Mondays Term-Time from January'.

Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable with my request

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MissStrawberry · 17/10/2013 12:55

YANBU but you need to toughen up. How did she corner you into agreeing and what will you do when she refuses to change her mind?

Thurlow · 17/10/2013 13:06

What does your contract with them actually say?

Manman · 17/10/2013 13:09

It maybe too late for October half term but could say that from now on all Mondays are term time only. You might have to be prepared that they may look elsewhere though so it depends if you could afford to lose the child?
I completely understand how easy it is to agree to things you don't want to with new parents.
I need to toughen up!!

Original poster

bigpaws · 17/10/2013 13:33

Contract is every Monday. That is my mistake - I should have stuck to my guns and said Term-Time only. I know I have made a mistake in agreeing to doing it.

I just wish parents were sometimes more thoughtful. As both parents are off work on Mon, I would have appreciated them asking 'we can cover Mon of next week if you wanted to take the day off after all'.

Also, how do I phrase my letter to them explaining I agreed in haste and have decided I cannot work Mondays during the school holidays now.

OP posts:

HSMMaCM · 17/10/2013 13:38

If they have a contract for Monday, there's no reason why their child shouldn't come. You need to give notice for Mondays in school holidays if you don't want to work them.

Manman · 17/10/2013 13:43

Have you asked them if there's any chance that as they are off they could keep child at home on the half term Monday? If you say that there will be no charge they might take you up on offer?!
Couldn't you just say in the letter that you have to make changes due to family circumstances?
Have to be prepared that this could be a deal breaker for them though.
Good luck, let us know what happens

heidihole · 17/10/2013 13:46

YABU, their contract says Mondays! You should have been firmer.

Thurlow · 17/10/2013 13:57

Coming from the parent perspective, if you agreed to certain days and signed a contract, then I'd be a little bit annoyed by your thinking in this situation.

Not by the days off - my CM's holidays are generally during the school holidays. If you wanted time off during the half-term then you could have given notice that you would be taking holiday, that's presumably quite normal. Is there a reason why you couldn't have done this in this situation? But as a parent I very much wouldn't be thinking of having DC at home to give you a "day off". If they both work f/t then this could be their only day off without DC too to get some things done at home. They're not being 'thoughtless' - they are just putting their child into agreed, paid-for childcare for a normal day.

If you want to change your hours then write a letter and say after consideration/experience etc you can no longer provide care on a Monday during the school holidays. But as you are varying the contract, be prepared for the chance they will end the contract. If neither parent works in a school environment, then 14(?) Mondays off a year is a lot of holiday for them to take to cover, and they may decide to find a childcare provider who can cover all their needs.

Original poster

bigpaws · 17/10/2013 14:31

Yes HSMM I fully understand that Mondays are contracted and there isn't a reason why the child shouldn't come to me.

However, I expressed my desire to have Mondays off in the holidays. They have both taken the day off and still sending the child to me. They could have each used a day as holiday to cover my initial request, could they not? That would be 2 weeks covered!

OP posts:

Original poster

bigpaws · 17/10/2013 14:38

Thurlow, the parents don't both work full time. Also, they have an older child school age so it isn't a day for themselves. They are aware of school holidays etc.

Please don't overlook I have acknowledged I am contracted to work on Monday and I am fully aware I agreed to this. I have no issue with the child coming to me while parents aren't working.

My issue is I emphasised I wanted Mondays off during school holidays. I regret not being firmer, and I need to work at getting this resolved.

OP posts:

MadonnaKebab · 17/10/2013 14:39

Yes they could have covered it
And it would be nice that they did
But you have signed a contract that they didn't have to
Just like I could perfectly well have cooked dinner tonight
But due to circumstances I chose to get takeaway instead
My local Thai restaurant are not bemoaning my laziness
But are happy to be paid thanks very much

Original poster

bigpaws · 17/10/2013 14:43

Erh, valid point Madonna. Not sure I it covers my initial post. But I hope you enjoy your takeaway tonight all the same

OP posts:

Thurlow · 17/10/2013 14:45

Well yes it would be, but unless I'm missing something you offered a service which included Mondays, and they took it up, which is all very standard. I don't mean to be harsh but this is your job and you agreed to it and signed a contract with them. I've often expressed a desire to take no lunch break and so work a 7 hour day, but that goes against my contract so that's never going to happen.

If you wanted Mondays off, you could tell the parents that these will be holiday days. You haven't mentioned whether a holiday day would mean you get no fee, or whether you've offered a reduction in fee if they have their DC on the Monday? And while you say you understand that sometimes parents have days off work while their DC is still in childcare, you don't seem to be thinking that in this case the parents might want to spend a rare day together, or be doing the decorating or something like that?

If you want the Monday off, ask them. Don't just be annoyed that they haven't decided to give you a day off. You've only expressed a desire; Mondays are still contracted. If you've decided you no longer want to do Mondays during the school holidays, ask them to sign a new contract but be prepared that they may decide to leave.

I'm really quite confused by this. You're not being U to decide you don't want to work Mondays, but to me you are being U about this particular Monday coming up.

HSMMaCM · 17/10/2013 14:56

Sorry, I didn't want to say it before but YABU to be upset that they are sending their child at half term. You agreed their contract. Some of my mindees parents send their children when they have a spa day, go shopping, sunbathe in the garden or whatever. It would be nice for me to have the day off and for them to have their children, but that is not what is in the contract. I actively encourage parents to make the most of their precious free time and I never contract days I don't want to work.

I know you felt pressured into it, but you simply need to give notice for Mondays and not make the same mistake again.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/10/2013 16:06

Can you survive without their money?

They may turn round and say they need 5 days care and leave

Next time be firm and make it clear no Mondays during holidays

Maybe look for a teacher who needs term time only or a family needing 3 day

Seb101 · 17/10/2013 16:16

I can understand where your coming from completely. You've not said you shouldn't have to have child, you understand you agreed to contract....BUT... You hoped parents would have been perhaps a little kinder. I think the way your feeling is reasonable. I've felt similar as a nanny in similar situations. You know you can't demand it, but it would have been nice to have had your feelings considered. You didn't want to commit to Mondays; they knew this, you were persuaded and agreed. They know you don't really want to do it. It would have been nice if they'd said; "thanks so much for agreeing to Mondays, we know your not keen, we so appreciate it, and as we're both off Monday, we'll keep child so you can spend some time with your kids"
Shame; it would have been a lovely gesture. But as it is, i'd just get on with it. Give notice for Mondays asap, tell them, don't ask them. Be assertive. Good luck. Nothing worse then feeling pressured into something.

Original poster

bigpaws · 17/10/2013 17:09

Thank you Seb - you have fully described my view on this.

I have approached the family to ask if there is any flexibility this week due to them being off work. We have agreed a day swap - child is now coming a different day next week.

I have thanked them and I value their understanding.

They apologised for not thinking and suggesting this themselves.

Thank you for all your comments folk -

OP posts:

Loopytiles · 17/10/2013 17:12

You took a decision to agree to it, no-one forced you. If you regret it you can change the arrangement (with reasomable notice) anytime, with the risk that they will find alternative care.

The parents were clear that they wanted mondays from the start. Their having a day off together on a Monday isn't relevant.

Except for people in term time only jobs, less availability
In holidays is often a problem.

Loopytiles · 17/10/2013 17:17

That sounds like a good outcome OP!

HSMMaCM · 17/10/2013 17:48

Glad you came to a good solution.

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