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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nanny attending to own affairs while on duty

61 replies

AliasNemo · 19/06/2013 14:47

Have namechanged as I am a regular user.

Have unexpectedly come home early to find a deserted house. As it is Ds's naptime, I was expecting to find him in his cot and his nanny downstairs. Instead it looks like they have been out since I left this morning, which is quite unusual.

Tried to call our nanny and she was unavailable. Got a text after half an hour saying she was a few miles from home and would be back in two hours or so. She gave a location where there are no friends of ours and no local attractions for children (not even a park), but where I think she is thinking of renting a flat. Essentially I think she might have gone to look at houses with DS.

What do you think? Is this acceptable? I am a bit unhappy in that I would have expected to be asked (in which case I would probably have said yes), rather than come home and be put in front of a fait accompli. Am also not very pleased that I have no idea who they are with. And to be fair I spent the half hour where I had no news worrying about what might have happened.

Also, how would you approach it? I feel I have to say something.

OP posts:

EasterHoliday · 19/06/2013 14:53

ask what they've been doing all day and take it from there.Our nanny has always asked and it's therefore been ok - she's generally timed it for when they're at school.
She needs reminding (possibly in writing) that she is to keep her phone on / answering machine checked when she's on duty (can't help it if she's out of range of course).
If she's taken a very small child out on a full day outing to look at properties without asking - not acceptable at all. what i suspect you'll be told is that she was at a house of one of her nanny friends

grabaspoon · 19/06/2013 14:55

Due to my work hours [I work full time] sometimes I take my charge to run my own errands/appointments etc. These things are generally suitable for my charge but obviously he'd rather be playing at the park than going to the postoffice.

If I have errands to run I may mention it to my boss in the morning "Need to pop to the post office, do you need anything" and if I need to book an appointment Ill ask if shes ok with me taking my charge or should I arrange a playdate etc.

RE not being in contact for half an hour I can imagine that was hard BUT you trust your nanny with your son and so should trust they were both fine - sometimes I'm too busy to hear a text/call or am out of range, my boss trusts that I'll get in touch when I can.

Cantcopewiththis · 19/06/2013 14:56

I think I would give your nanny a chance to explain where she was and what she was doing, before you decide how to handle it.

I am a nanny and am never too far away from the children's home. As for doing personal stuff during work hours, I think that is unprofessional. Especially without permission.

Sounds like a serious lack of communication. Let's hope when she gets back she can tell you where she was and make you feel slightly happier. Just stay calm and let her talk first.

But I do think you have a right to feel annoyed, and unhappy. Good luck.

Original poster

AliasNemo · 19/06/2013 15:03

DS is less than 2 and nanny does not drive, so i guess it will have taken them a while to get there and back.

I realise that working full time means sometimes you have to run errands while on duty and I do trust our nanny BUT would like to be consulted beforehand (as I say, I would probably have said yes).

Cannot really work out how to tackle this as I suspect a family member might have talked our usually diligent nanny into this...

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/06/2013 15:27

As you work fulltime therefore so does your nanny - so yes personal errands do get done ie going to bank / doctors app/ popping to the shops - this I feel is fine and tbh I don't check with my mb but then again she trusts me and I am Not going to do something that she wouldn't like

If i needed to do something and be out for the day then yes I would check that mb happy with it

Ask your nanny where she was and go from there

If you child was happy and safe and looked after then although I understand you are annoyed and was worried it sounds like she was truthful

She could of said I'm at xxx house or at the park and you wouldn't have know

grabaspoon · 19/06/2013 16:45

What do you mean was talked into it?

lougle · 19/06/2013 16:54

If you were home with your DS, would you do those sorts of tasks while he was with you, or would you arrange childcare so that he didn't have to tag along? If you would do them, then I don't see the issue. Surely that's the benefit of having a Nanny, that children are exposed to a 'home' life environment, which does include boring errands.

TuTuTilly · 19/06/2013 17:06

but if you work FT in, say, an office or shop, you can't just toddle off flat-hunting during working hours without mentioning it to your boss. Not saying that what the nanny did was wrong but it's hardly the same as popping to the Post Office.

lougle · 19/06/2013 17:15

Well, you can't, but that's not because you can't do it per se, it's because the work you are assigned won't get done.

If the Nanny's work assignment is 'take good care of charge', then she can still do this while looking at flats.

My question is whether the OP would think this was a suitable activity for her child to be doing if she were at home. If the answer is 'yes' then I can't see why it's a problem that the Nanny is doing it.

reggiebean · 19/06/2013 17:18

It depends on what rules you had already established. When I was a nanny, I took my charge Christmas shopping because I worked every day during normal store hours. I never asked for permission from the parents, but it was understood to be an okay thing to do... It gets him out of the house, they trust me with him... What's the problem?

lunar1 · 19/06/2013 17:20

Not on really, she is paid to do a job. I guess a one off would be ok but not for hours, and worse if she is uncontactable.

juneybean · 19/06/2013 17:28

I often go out of the house without asking, it wouldn't occur to me that my bosses might come early and therefore be worried about where I was... as they trust me.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/06/2013 18:10

I think it's good for children to sleep anywhere - you said it was your dc nap time - so if nanny took a buggy and did look at houses then I don't see the problem

If I wasn't expecting mb home and needed to do something I wouldnt bother her by texting we to say we are doing abc - I would just go out and do it

Sounds like there are trust issues

Normally the dc I look after sleep at home in their cots/bed and I get peace tv mn sit on sofa etc

But if I needed to do something then as long as slept (or have grumpy children) then I would put in car or buggy and they would sleep there

Are you worried that everyday once you leave nanny goes out all day? Which again every now and again I do - literally 8.30/5.30 out of the house

Get to the house at say 8am do school/nursery run, maybe go to activity, pick up dc at lunchtime and then to a friends house for lunch and play. They snooze there. We then go to say older child's swimming and back home for tea / sarnies and fruit in car and back home 5.30/6

Can you maybe have a diary so you know where they are- tho again plans can change if say child we were good to has a sickness bug

mrswishywashy · 19/06/2013 18:17

I think its a bit out of order. I'd ask her what she has been doing and then say either you'd like her to notify you of plans out of the ordinary or plan in her off time.

Going to post office, doctor, dentist etc fine as its a learning experience for child and also means the parents don't need to take the time off work but flat hunting is for time off.

OutragedFromLeeds · 19/06/2013 19:44

I think it's ok tbh. Not great, but not a massive problem.

You say, if she'd asked you would have said yes, so perhaps she just assumed (rightly) that it would be ok? If I'm going to do something that I know my employer will be OK with I don't bother checking.

You seem to have trust issues with your nanny. I don't understand why you would be worried that she wasn't at home or that she didn't answer her phone for half an hour? Neither of those seem concerning to me. I also don't understand why you're worried that you have no idea who they're with? Does she normally text you through the day saying 'with John', 'now with Valerie' 'just having a chat with Mrs Miggins from number 21', 'on the bus, there are some strangers'?! Surely you never know who they're with but you trust that whoever it is, is suitable?

I think you need to examine whether your nanny isn't trustworthy or whether you have trouble trusting people with your DC.

What did she say when you asked her?

Mrscupcake23 · 19/06/2013 20:00

Think the main problem is that she should have asked if it was all day. I do my wanking in work time as usually checking I have been paid.

Don't always pick my phone up as if I am in a class it would be on silent. My boss rarely rings me .

OutragedFromLeeds · 19/06/2013 20:01

'I do my wanking in work time'

That is completely unacceptable!

libertyflip · 19/06/2013 20:04

Are you sure you posted correctly there Mrscupcake23?

juneybean · 19/06/2013 20:05

brilliant typo!

dev9aug · 19/06/2013 20:06

ROFL @ mrscupcake I do my wanking in work time

Heavywheezing · 19/06/2013 20:11

The funniest thing I've read for ages mrscupcake

grabaspoon · 19/06/2013 20:23

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/06/2013 20:37

really mrs c? pmsl

Gooseysgirl · 19/06/2013 20:56

HAHAHAHAHA brilliant typo, I spat out my tea!!!!

Chivetalking · 19/06/2013 20:58

'wanking in worktime'

Fnarrrrr

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