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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nanny employers - would you text your nanny to check they are ok after a minor operation?

24 replies

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 12/06/2013 12:21

Posted in am I being unreasonable too

Had minor op on Monday so am off work this week.

No text or call regarding how I am from employers. Only communication was 'where's the school unifrom'

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DrSeuss · 12/06/2013 12:55

I would have but this aspect of my personality is probably one of the reasons I will never earn enough to employ a nanny!
Get well soon!

rubyslippers · 12/06/2013 13:00

of course i would!

it's the decent thing to do isn't it?

is your relationship ok with your employers generally?

rubyslippers · 12/06/2013 13:00

i employ a nanny BTW

Novstar · 12/06/2013 13:04

It entirely depends on the relationship, circumstances of your leave, circumstances of the job, how busy the employers are.

NeverQuiteSure · 12/06/2013 13:09

We used to employ a nanny. Yes, I would at the very minimum have sent a text.

That said, maybe your employer was worried about intruding

Are they usually a bit scatty? Perhaps the break in routine has just thrown them a bit?

Did the op go ok?

ReetPetit · 12/06/2013 13:18

Yes, of course!!

How awful - I think I'd be looking for other employment tbh....

Bestseller · 12/06/2013 13:24

I'd like to think that I'd have organised a card and flowers, but, if I was having to send stressed texts about the school uniform and manage without my right hand (you) I might not get round to it.

At least you know she's missing you

Hope you feel better soon.

CinnabarRed · 12/06/2013 13:30

Our nanny had a minor op and we sent her £250 of hotel vouchers to wish her a speedy recovery. Our boys made her get well soon cards. And I sent her photos of the boys by text when they did cute/funny things.

rubyslippers · 12/06/2013 13:33

no one is too busy to send a text

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/06/2013 13:34

It's the decent thing to do so yes a quick text just saying hope not too sore - speedy recovery etc would be nice

Then again Malibu your previous posts about your mb should answer your own question ...,,,,

7 years ago I had a blood clot that travelled from my leg to my lung and collapsed it resulting in 8 days in hospital and 3 weeks off work

Mb and db and kiddiwinks came to visit me in hospital twice and brights chocolate and mags and cards homemade from both dc - and once at home flowers

Moknicker · 12/06/2013 13:35

Of course. I used to call our nanny when she was ill to check she was okay and to generally chat. It is very strange to get in touch and not ask how you are.

Get well soon.

happystory · 12/06/2013 13:37

Of course, common decency

annh · 12/06/2013 13:59

If I remember correctly, there is a long history here and the lack of concern about your health after the op is following a fairly predictable pattern from these employers. I think a text would have been good, particularly as they found time to ask you about school uniform. It would have taken literally 10 seconds to put some good wishes for you in the same text. However, I also thought you were giving notice - if that is the case and you are leaving, like it or not they appear to be the type of employer who have moved on to their next nanny and no longer care about you. I would suggest that you do the same and save your energy for the job search, rather than wasting brain space on this.

sweetsummerlove · 12/06/2013 16:14

cinnabarred, can I work for you? lol

nannynick · 12/06/2013 17:18

As a nanny, if I had a minor op and had already agreed a return to work date (don't know if you have agreed that), then NO I would not expect my boss to ask how things were two days after the op date. I would expect something nearer the return to work date to confirm that everything was ok and the return to work date was still possible.

Some people may not want to have work contact them shortly after having an op.

The "where is the school uniform" type text should not have been necessary... you are off work, so shouldn't really be contacted at all.

knackeredmother · 12/06/2013 17:22

Well we employed a nanny and when my son was very unwell in hospital a number of times my nanny never text to ask how he was and I was told on here by quite a few people that I was totally unreasonable to expect her to text using her own money and time. So I guess some would argue it works both ways.
However, any NORMAL compassionate person would if course check you were ok.

Jacksterbear · 12/06/2013 17:29

As a nanny employer, I don't think I would, but not because I wouldn't care; I would worry that nanny would want to be left to recuperate in peace and would see a text from work as an annoying intrusion. I certainly would not expect my boss to text me if I'd had an operation!

CinnabarRed · 12/06/2013 17:41

Ah, you see I've just had a minor operation and my boss did text to check how it had gone.

I guess it depends on the nature of the relationship between employee and employer. Although my boss is always entirely professional with me, I know that if I ever left he would keep in touch.

Sweetsummerlove, although I'm sure you're lovely, I remain loyal to our nanny!

GoldiChops · 12/06/2013 19:55

I had a lovely job with a lovely family- it was live-in but separate entrance. I had an op that required 3 weeks off and I never heard from them, not even once. I took the bus home from the hospital! They knew I was alone, no partner and parents in another country. I never really expect more of people!

Original poster

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 12/06/2013 21:33

Am job hunting so can eventually hand in my notice.

Was contacted again today to ask whether my charge was in an after school club tomorrow or not? I replied saying yes and I'd appreciate if you didn't keep asking questions about the children as I am actually off work and need to rest in order to return on Monday. Thanks

What shocks me is so many people from school or toddler groups have text to ask how I am/ hope all went ok

OP posts:

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 12/06/2013 22:07

Yes I would.

I wouldn't have text what you did today though...

It sounds like the relationship has broken down and you need another job ASAP.

Jacksterbear - I think most nannies wouldn't see it as an intrustion, but a welcome 'we're thinking of you and you mean more to us than just an employee'.

lechatnoir · 12/06/2013 22:17

Good for you op they sound a complete pita and I honestly don't think a quick text to check on you would have hurt
I also don't think a normal employer is comparable as a nanny lives/works in your home & cares for your children so hardly the same relationship as a conventional office set-up.

Jacksterbear · 12/06/2013 22:55

I suppose, thinking about it, I'm thinking more of scenarios when my nanny has been ill and I've avoided sending "how are you?"/"hope you're feeling better" type texts in case that seem like harrassing nanny re when she's coming back to work. Different from pre-arranged time off for an op.

The texts re uniform etc are definitely not on!

nannyafrica · 13/06/2013 19:11

I had one employer phone the nurses station at hospital as they could not get me on my mobile to ask when I would be back at work! They had just resuscitated one and were pumping me with morphine! They wanted to know the date I would be back at work and really needed to speak to me... not allowed to put on here what the nurse told them! The father didn't even go to work and child was school aged. Some people just don't think of others at all. If I knew when I would be back at work I would have let them know.

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