Emergency nanny booked for tomorrow, concerned about her taking DS into town

[louschmoo]

Okay, I may be being extremely hormonal and over the top. But we have booked an emergency nanny for tomorrow to take care of my 19 month old son. I am 37 weeks pregnant and have been basically immobilised due to SPD and irritable uterus. Tuesdays is the one day when i can't get help with DS so we thought we'd take advantage of my husband's emergency childcare package through work.

I was envisaging the nanny coming to our house, taking DS to the local park, playing with him here and generally taking him through his regular day.

But she has just texted my husband to say she's planning to take him to London Zoo in her car (we live in south east London zone 3/4 so nowhere near). I am really uncomfortable with the idea of a complete stranger (CRBd and reference checked or not) taking my son so far away for potentially the whole day. I'm happy to tell her this when she comes tomorrow morming. But the fact that she has planned this in the first place has raised my hackles a bit as it seems really presumptuous to me. Fair enough if she had met us before and knew my son but this is the first time we've booked this type of childcare. She's not asked if there's anything we want her to do with him. just texted to say this is her plan. Nannies - does this seem reasonable or normal to you? Parents - would you be comfortable with this?

Gosh no I wouldn't be happy with that at all. Driving to London zoo is ridiculous anyway (I'm also SE London). I would not allow it. I would text back and say that particularly as your ds does not know her you would prefer that she looks after him at your house/locally so if he gets upset you are nearby. I would want to observe her closely with him before even allowing her to take him to the park. I can be a bit pfb (even with ds2 ) but the nanny sounds like she doesn't have much of a clue. Why would she want to take an unknown 19mo on a horrid long slow journey into London to an expensive attraction that he won't get much out of - unless she is meeting a friend there of course

Whoah, she is very presumptuous isn't she. No way would a complete stranger be taking my child that far on their first meeting. I would probably get someone else, it just smacks of a complete lack of respect and disregard for the parents wishes. He is your child, she should be asking you what you would like her to do with him. I wouldn't trust her, sorry.

I wouldn't be comfortable with this at all. Just tell her in the morning that you'd rather your DS stayed local. Bit presumptuous I agree.

Ahh, so glad you agree. I have actually found this quite upsetting and worrying, just the fact that she thinks this is reasonable concerns me. I will tell her that i want her to stay at home with him. It did immediately make me think that she's arranged to meet a friend in town and that's why she's planned this. I was already worrying about the idea of letting a stranger take him to the very very local park, but the centre of town - no bloody way!

Not being hormonal or over the top at all

I do work through the Childcare scheme you mentioned and wouldn't dream of organising an exspensive trip 45mins away in a car with a family I've never worked for - totally different if permanent job - but it's not.

It is however nice to get out ESP if mum is about - so a walk to the park or ducks is what I do - obv with parents permission - if neither nearby then a walk round the roads / out in garden if weather is nice.

Least the nanny texted you - rather then just doing it - could you imagine that !!!

Your husband should have texted back saying you wouldn't be happy with that - wonder if she expected you to pay entrance fees? Again all my expenses are met by a kitty - but I wouldn't be arranging this trip in a one day one off job

Tbh I'm a bit that the nanny suggested it - does sound possibly her friends are going there tomorrow and she thought it would be nice to go.

Most nannies that work through emergency Childcare wouldn't dream of suggesting what this nanny would and I would mention it to the scheme / agency - she may come through Tinies - they use this scheme lots

I wouldn't be happy as a parent and as a nanny wouldn't have dreamt of organising or just informing the parents that was the plan.

Perhaps she thought getting him out for the day so you could rest would be a good idea? But tbh she should know that with you at 37wks there's a risk of you going into labour anyway and staying close to home, so not stressing you out, would be a good plan!

As blondes suggested I think you should mention it to the agency/scheme. They may be encouraging this kind of planning.

Yes, we would have texted her back last night but my husband only read the text when he checked his phone late last night. He's texted her this morning to say we'd prefer them to stay at home today. I'm glad to hear that it isn't normal practice - we've never used a nanny before and although it sounded really odd to me i am also prone to overreaction when it comes to my PFB!

I'm going to make some suggestions for things for them to do at home today and we'll see how it goes (I'll be at home too so can keep an eye out). And i think we will mention it to the agency but i'll work out how to phrase it once we've met her. If she turns put to be fab i don't want to get her into trouble, but i think it's worth pointing out that this is not the best first approach!

As a nanny I do not like staying home all day, so your original idea of them going to a local park may be good.

Trying to think of what I have done, such as first full day in a job. Looking a mileage record, I tend to go out somewhere - 23.3 mile round trip to a local ish science center for example, probably around a 1/2 hour drive each way.

Ultimately you are the boss so nanny needs to take your views into account and do as you say, though that may result in them not working for you again.

Hi Nick, yes i can understand that. If she was someone we had met and interviewed and it was her first day i might feel differently. But as this is emergency care it just seems a bit over the top. She's here now and playing with him really nicely. They're going to the park in about half an hour, and she might take him to the local soft play centre after his nap, depending on how long he sleeps (or will do some messy play here). I'm happy with both of those options.

Ah so you have not even met them yet. Whilst an emergency booking, I guess it was not made late Sunday, so could nanny not have visited on Sunday? You can tell I do not know how this emergency childcare stuff works but for babysitting I would meet families first, even visiting that mornng.

Sounds like it is going well and that they will have a little trip out, rather than being stuck indoors. Looks nice outside, I really should get out of bed, few hours to go before work.

No, it was all arranged through the agency which DH's company uses. We made the booking over the phone & were sent a name & profile of the nanny. Our first contact with her was the text she sent last night about going to the zoo.

He goes to a childminder and they often go on outings so it's not the idea of him going off without me that's the problem. But i really don't like the idea of him being out for the day so far away with someone he's never met before. But she's been very amenable to my more local suggestions so i think all is going well!

Nick - I never meet the families first in these circumstances as I literally get a text or sometimes call asking if free and is usually the day before and never a chance to meet them

I literally get thrown in the deep end the next day.

Whoever replies first gets the job and will get a text saying booked for say 8hrs work in sevenoaks - we the get the family's details a few hours later and turn up the next day

I have had jobs with an hours notice (on my day off) but generally get 12hrs notice ie next day and wouldn't be able to meet parents as child as either I am at work that day or they are in the office and child in Childcare

It's a weird scheme but means parents do get Childcare in an emergency but won't know anything about them apart from maybe a cv - so parents have to trust the company iyswim

Still amazed a nanny would do a trip like that for a one day temp job

They'll be in the car for hours!

I bet she has a pre-existing meet with some other nanny friends there and thought she'd take DC along. I wouldn't be happy, and I don't think my DCs at that age would have gone along with it with a complete stranger either!

Walk to the park in morning then maybe trip out for coffee and babyccinnos in the afternoon more like ;-)

I would want her to stay at home, for the morning at least. What if you meet her and decide you aren't comfortable with her or don't trust her judgement? It's too much for a 1 year old to just be expected to go off for the day with a stranger too.

This is not a good idea and as your son has never met the nanny he may get upset.
I would see how things go then suggest a trip to the park if you think your son is happy with the nanny.
I would not dream of suggesting a trip like this with a child I had never met

Hi, thanks for all the replies. She was very nice and sweet with my son today. I told her that I'd prefer her to stay local so they went to the park this morning, did painting and reading this afternoon and then to the park again for a game of football. It was really nice for me to have him around the house but have someone else there to do all the physical stuff so I could rest. We'd definitely book her again but I still wouldn't feel comfortable with her (or any stranger) taking him on a day trip. I definitely think local and home-based activities are enough for one-off bookings!