help explaining this behaviour to other children

[calmlychaotic]

One of my mindees has some developmental delay,nothing yet diagnosed. I am just looking for ideas of simple ways explain his behaviour to other children. He pushes, grabs food or toys no concept of sharing or turn taking, he is not at all malicious he's nearly 2 and his behaviour is like a 9 month old. I am finding it difficult to explain why he doesn't understand and why rules almost don't apply to him

also in a play group would you warn other parents/cm? I move him away from babies and always watch him but I have had some pointed questions and comments about his apparent lack of boundaries or discipline. Doesn't bother me what people think of me but I am starting to worry he could potentially hurt another child or get us thrown out!

I'd just tell the others that everyone is different, and he's not being "naughty", he just truly doesn't understand.

My dd has a classmate who is quite severely autistic: no speech, has 1:1 ta all the time. The school seem to have explained that 'x's brain works a bit differently and so he needs more help than you do.' Dd is quite happy with this explanation and they all seem to just accept that eg he is allowed to get up and wander about when they have to sit still. I think it's really good that they get that understanding of people's differences early on.

Re: what others think I do think you have to be a bit careful of confidentiality especially if there's no official diagnosis. I think you just watch carefully as you are doing.

ds2 is disabled and used a childminder when he was younger. To younger children she would just say X doesnt understand slightly older children she would explain a little more that his legs dont work as well and his brain works a little differently and he takes longer to learn new things.
I have always found other children to be totally accepting and unphased and always answer their questions honestly.
Its only now that he is 10 that the other children do treat him differently or are becoming a little unsure if they should ask.
I love the openess and innocence of children and wish everyone retained a little of that childlike honesty.
I always encouraged our childminder to tell others as much as she felt they wanted or needed to know

Thanks for advice, kids have been great mostly, had a couple of occasions where they were saying its not fair, which I wanted to nip in the bud. Will use the idea about brain working differently.

Adults are worse! Had one trying to force him to go over and apologise for pushing another child over, I apologised for him and explained to child he didn't understand or mean it. Child was fine mum made a huge fuss!