Nanny leaving us! Bew baby due in a few weeks help!

[Josie5]

Our lovely nanny is leaving us, the other family who have her have let her go as the nanny share ha fallen in and she's got a full time job starting just as I'm due our second baby. Am so upset. But anyway I'm writing because I wanted some advice, we had her two days and were planning to carry on with this, I was hoping it would provide some consistency and also fun for our daughter (20 months) instead of being largely stuck in the house with me and new baby climbing the walls at least until I'm back on my feet. Have been thinking about nursery but also a mothers help or part time nanny and wondered what others have done when number no2 arrives?

Understandable that if your nanny did 2 days for you and 3 days for someone else (that is not a nannyshare in my view but 2 jobs) that if the 3 day job stops the nanny looks for alternative work. Alas they have not found a replacement 3 day job, so have taken a fulltime job.

If nursery is a consideration how about considering a childminder? Looking beyond your maternity leave period, what childcare do you need? Would you need both children cared for in your home, or would your work hours fit with using a childminder/nursery?

Some nannies do like part-time work, so you may find another nanny quite fast, if there are nannies looking for work in your area.

No we didn't do a nanny share she had two jobs. The other job was a nanny share. Thanks for the advice.

Presumably you won't be going straight back to work, so you've got time to find a new nanny. Most people do manage to cope with a new baby and a toddler unaided. Your older child will be fine pottering around the house with you and the newborn as long as you can accept this as a way of life for a few months. You don't need to have organised activities for every waking minute, that way madness lies...

I have a four year old and a nb. It's not so much the childcare that's the problem - it's the housework and laundry. I think you'll cope fine with the kids, my suggestion would be to get a cleaner and someone to do your laundry.

Yes, your older child will be absolutely fine with you and the new baby, and in fact it'll be a good opportunity for you all to bond. Agree with perhaps getting a cleaner. When your maternity leave is coming to an end might be more the time to look for a new nanny.

Thanks musomathski. Tube girl and ziuleka d
Very reassuring, I think I'm panicking I won't be able to handle it! It would be great to have someone come in and clean/do some laundry or some cooking I think I might find a mothers help for the end of the day around bedtime when I imagine it gets tricky

Lots of people have two little ones like you will have. You don't need help at the end of the day. You just need a routine for your bigger child and accept that may mean the new baby spends some time feeding whilst you read a story or rolling around on a blanket whilst you supervise bath time or even sitting in the bouncy chair grumbling a bit whilst you do cuddles and lights out.
I agree you should look at this as an opportunity not a problem. The timing is actually quite good really. You could look at local nurseries or playgroups and see if you can book dd in for a session or two a week to give you some one to one time with the new baby. That's what I did when I had two little ones. It's such fun seeing them together though. Honestly when your baby is only a few weeks old you'll see them start to play with dd and they will find dd the best, funniest, most entertaining person in the world. It really will be easier than you fear.

Congratulations

Whilst it's true that lots of people manage with no help, lots of people do have help with a newborn and a toddler, and it can make your life easier and more enjoyable. If you can afford it, why not?

I have a mothers help, which I would highly recommend. An extra pair of hands, help witho housework and childcare. See if anyone you know can recommend somone?

Starting nursery or a childminder as soon as the new baby comes might be too much for your eldest- maybe look into that for when you go back to work.

are you going back to work in 3/6mths time, were you going to keep your nanny on full time, well 2 days while you were on ml?

if yes, then i would seriously look around for a new perm nanny - many would give their arm for a job with a nb and toddler - plus gives you a chance to get to know the new nanny

if not then either a mothers help/cleaner or even your oh can help out with cleaning/laundry

a cm or nursery would be nice, but you dont want your older child to feel pushed out, ie new baby comes, they go - so if you can get help in your house then better at this moment in time

I would find a mother's help who can do cleaning/laundry/meal prep and also hold the baby while you spend time with your older one. Older child won't want to toddle off with a new nanny while you stay with the baby anyway.

Sure, lots of people manage with no help, but if you can afford the help then why wouldn't you make life easier and more enjoyable for everyone?

if you can afford it, could you offer your nanny more hours so she can stay with you?

if not, i wouldn't worry but if you are going to start your dd in new childcare i would try and do it before your baby is due to get her used to it before another change of a new sibling.

are you at home? if so, could you send her to a playgroup a few mornings a week to give her a break from being with the baby all the time? or get a mother's help type person to come to your home?
or a childminder?

as for not coping - you will. many people have 2 young children and more and cope just fine with no help!! you will all be fine, you just have to relax a bit about it and realise that things may be a bit different for a while for all of you but it soon passes

I had a nanny after ds2 and then ds3 was born after ds2 was two days a week and ds3 i had 35hours a week mothers help type.
DS1 also had morning nursery 2 days. I used the nanny after ds2 was born to spend time with ds1, so in the really early days (when they need lots of feeding) we al went out together and I would play with ds1 and nanny would call me over to swap. Then later on when I could leave the new baby with a bottle I would take ds1 out on his own.
She would also look after both children whilst I was studying or doing admin, washing, having my hair cut or just catching up on sleep
You can cope with 2, its just a lot esaier with an extra pair of hands

I would recommend having some childcare if you can manage it. Both to give your toddler a bit of continuity / variety, and to allow you to rest.

I know many people manage without help, and fingers crossed you have a newborn that likes to sleep at night, but it might be a bit tiring until their routines are in sync. See how you go, but I'd start putting feelers out now.

I think it depends on what sort of a child and nanny you had. If your nanny never gave your DC time on their own it could be quite hard for you as they won't know how to potter around on their own at all - combined with a new baby that could make them quite clingy.

A mother's help sounds like the ideal solution - they can help with some light house duties, can hold either toddler or baby to give you time with the other, etc.

I would second Blondeshavemorefun point.
A) it's a lot easier with another pair of hands
B) a good nanny will help out in many ways and just taking the baby out of your arms for a few hours in the early days will be a lifesaver.
C) I kept on a full time nanny as I planned to return to work at 3 months and I can honestly say that its been a lifesaver even with an "easy" baby. My DD1 2.5 has found it tough though and is only coming around now after 3 months. In the first instance, the nanny kept up their normal routine but it was clear that DD1 felt that she was being excluded while her new sister had "cuddles" a lot (bfing) on the sofa. She was much more on board with her activities when her new sister was joining them in the pram and I was being left behind; or if I took her out by herself for a little while.
So - if you can afford help for a couple of days a week - or less qualified help for a longer period, then I would jump at the chance. You don't say whether you are a SAHM with a nanny 2 days a week or if you will be out working on those two days when ML finishes. I would recommend hiring someone for the long term though, as it is disruptive for your two children if a mothers help goes in favour of a nanny in 6 months time.
A friend hired a v young nanny from a nursery while she was on ML. By the time she was going back to work, everyone was very comfortable that she knew what she was doing and could manage 2 children.