What space does your au pair live in & how much are they in your communal areas?

[Artigene]

We are considering moving from live-out nanny to live-in au pair. My reservations are around sharing space.

The au pair would have the attic room: big enough for double bed, desk, wardrobe and a tv. She'd have her own loo and sink up there but would have to shower/bath in the family bathroom. Is that unusual and might it put candidates off?

Also do au pairs hang out in the living room at night or if you give them a tv in their room can you expect them to hang out there after dinner?

We are on our third ap. first one ate with us ie adults every night, then went up to her room (unused tv, DVD) to Skype and Facebook friends at home. Ap 2 either ate with kids or out with friends, we would have a meal together once a week. She was literally out from 7 every night so made vg use of time in London. Current ap eats with us 2 or 3 nights a week, with kids 3 nights a week. She is a home lover so spends all non college / kids time in her room. Again doesn't use tv but chatting with friends and family on Facebook or studying. She has own shower room. I would make it clear what time you need bathroom in the mornings so everyone knows the deal. good luck with the change!

Thanks, that doesn't sound too bad. Interesting none of the watched tv. Is it not worth buying an extra set and extending the Sky package?

Our ap eats with us a couple of times a week but is mostly out with friends, she's only got a small room and shares our family bathroom but from what she's said it's more than she has in Spain.
She spends loads of time in her room on Skype to her family and boyfriend. Get decent wifi tho I can never get on anything as she's using all the bandwidth lol

Ps.. She doesn't eat with us a lot because she says we eat too early lol

Our AP eats with us every night but usually goes upstairs after we have cleared up. We have two showers but the one is downstairs so we usually share. We shower first thing and she showers after dropping DC at school. She sits downstairs whenwe aren't here sometimes and goes out over weekends but is usually in her room. I think it is her personality though. She is definitely a home bod

I would definitely put a tv in her room. We have a normal freeview and a dvd player.
Ours eats with us and then goes upstairs to Skype etc. But I want her to eat with us to feel part of the family, so it is up to you. She never hangs around with us in the evenings, very rarely.

Artigene, I think you should just make sure to make it clear to your ap how much you want her sharing the common areas after work hours/dinner time, etc. You can even state it on the job description, so aps who don't want to be confined to their room when they're at home, will be put off anyway. If there's communication, I don't think it should be a problem. Good Luck!

My live-in has to share our bathroom, but has her own Sky box up there - she LOVES it. She eats with us once a week or so, when we have communal take out, but mostly is knackered and goes to chill in her room, or out with friends.

We have just hired our first Aupair- she isn't here yet but she has agreed to what we want.

She has her own room with bed, wardrobe, TV and desk with a computer. She has to share a bathroom with the kids. She will make her own meals and is more than welcome to sit in the kitchen for them and we will socialise with her of course but we have made it clear that of an evening we do like our privacy as a couple so we watch TV together and she is respecting that. I think it is the norm if im honest- after all, they are an employee, not a friend. We will occasionally invite her to join in with board games etc in an evening with the family but thats it. They are younger girls after all as well- they will probably take up another evening job, go to classes and make their own friends. My friend has an aupair and she has said aside from her babysitting nights, she is never there of an evening. She isn't just coming to childmind and clean- she is coming to explore the city and make new friends.

Hi. Can I ask u guys some questions on au pairs? Where do u get guidelines from, like regarding pay and working hours? I've looked on different websites, one said to pay £60 a week, another 70-90. I only need childcare 3 times a week, 7 hours in morning and 3 in evening as my husband and I both do shifts. So as far as I can see paying an au pair is cheaper than a childminder. U only pay pocket money and provide cost and accommodation, don't u?
Also I want one from same country as my husband so that she can teach baby his native language, what type of visa do they need? Sorry I realize now that this is probably not the right place to ask all these questions but don't want to have to re-type it all. Appreciate all help!

sarah, i'm sorry but i really dont think au pairs should be left in sole charge of babies. particularly for a 7 hour say!
it shouldnt come down to whos cheaper,which area are you? childminders arent that expensive and if you are worried about cost and on a low income you should be able to get help for registered childcare, ie, a childminder....

7 hour day - sorry

I live in ipswich, suffolk. We can afford a childminder and I would be happy with that. It's more my husband, in his country they have a maid who looks after the house and kids and he would like something like that over here. I'm just trying to look at all the options but not liking any of them. Would rather stay at home with her!

I suspect visa will be your sticking point. You can employ EU nationals or Aus/NZ/Canadian/Japanese on a youth mobility visa without a problem. Any other nationality is practically impossible unless they can work in the UK in their own right.

What you're asking is in any case too much for an au pair. Whilst there are no strict conditions it's generally accepted that they're between 18 and 25 years old, work 25 hours a week for around £70 plus room and board and do childcare and light housework. They are here to imprkge their English and/or explore another culture. As they're not childcare professionals they shouldn't be in extended sole charge of preschoolers.

If you did want care in your home it would be a nanny-housekeeper at around £10 gross per hour minimum, plus employers NÍ etc. I'd say you're better with a chimdminder and your husband is just going to have to adapt to the childcare culture unless he has some secret way of getting visas

You can get Aupair pluses who can work 35 hours a week and earn around £1/50 here in London.