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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

How much cleaning does your aupair do

22 replies

Newtothisstuff · 25/01/2013 19:34

Here I am moaning about my aupair again.

Was just wondering from all you aupair veterans how much cleaning do/did yours do.

I've asked mine if she would Hoover the lounge every day (we've got a dog and a crawling baby)

And we've got a rota for emptying the dishwasher, the bathroom and cleaning up the dinner things (this is me,DH and the aupair)

Is this too much?? Basically she doesn't want to do it.. Even if she cleaned up after herself I could cope but she's soooo untidy. I've been getting home from work and having to start cleaning up her mess

She's 26 so not a kid and I gave a detailed job description before she came n

Your thoughts ??

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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amazingmumof6 · 25/01/2013 20:35

I used to be an aupair, and did what I was asked to do, no more, no less. kept my room tidy.

I was 23-25 and it was all good and reasonable.

I won't list what I had to do, but more than she has to, so no YANBU!

she's a lazy cow and unless she's brilliant with your DC I'd give her a week's notice and tell her to get on or go.

Brawhen · 25/01/2013 20:42

Ours does loads. BUT - it was explicit when we hired her that one of her jobs is to be the cleaner (so she does 3/4 after-school sessions, some evening babysits, plus all the weekly cleaning jobs to make up roughly 20 hrs).

She also is generally in charge of clearing up the kitchen after meals on weekdays, and keeping the washing pile under control.

I think if you were clear about her duties when you hired her, she should be doing them. PLUS, a good au-pair should (imo) just generally help out with family life, the same way a member of the family would. (Eg ours does not officially have to do any cooking, but will usually offer to help, to set the table, or to get tea started on busy days etc.) I don't think that is an unreasonable expectation.

OneLieIn · 25/01/2013 20:49

She's lazy

Ours doesn't do enough but does.. Vacuum regularly apart from our bedroom, mop the floor every day, dishwasher emptying and filling, washing up, all our ironing, keeps her bathroom clean, occasional dusting, lots and lots of tidying in our messy house.

My view is I will keep making her do more so I can sit and eat choc work hard all day

Original poster

Newtothisstuff · 25/01/2013 20:58

Jesus... She really is lazy ! I get the impression she's been pampered by her mother all her life.

Even little things like coming down stairs to make a cup of tea and not putting the milk away, leaving cupboard doors open and leaving her dirty plates on the sofa after lunch.. It drives me to distraction !

She is great with the kids but I'm not her mum and I definitely don't need another person to clean up after.

She seemed really put out by the rota, I figured I'd try it because she seems to be the kind of person who has to be told what to do step by step starting with what time to get up

She's only been with us 7 weeks, maybe it's time to start looking elsewhere

Thanks for the info

OP posts:

PepeLePew · 25/01/2013 20:58

Mine does her room and bathroom and the dcs' rooms every week. She also does whatever needs doing - rubbish out, dishwasher on, surfaces wiped down in kitchen, floor swept, etc. Today she hung out a load of my washing and folded all the dry stuff for me. I have a cleaner so there isn't much heavy cleaning, just what needs doing. She's actually tidier than me - the house is much neater and cleaner than it used to be! I see her role as being part of the family and that means pulling her weight just like I and the dcs do.

Original poster

Newtothisstuff · 25/01/2013 21:05

That's what I was hoping for tbh. I didn't want a cleaner I just wanted someone to help out with general day to day picking up !

I'm such a wimp ! I'm dreading speaking to her about it.

My dd has ADHD so can't have various food items, she's been giving her them even tho I've told her about 7 times not to, so I've got to speak about that too

OP posts:

amazingmumof6 · 25/01/2013 21:47

get rid asap, she's not even respecting your child's strict diet rules, what a moron! that's bang out of order!

amazingmumof6 · 25/01/2013 21:48

and BTW aupairs rarely ever feel part of the family....

Rosevase · 25/01/2013 21:56

My aupairs are part of the family! They have always emptied dishwasher, etc but never cleaned. DH and I don't clean either though, we have a cleaner.

If she is great with the kids - BRILLIANT. Do you know how rare that it???! Our aupair sends our children Xmas presents and skypes them and plans visits back and forth years after she has left us to continue at Uni. She really did become a big sister and tbh I will keep in contact with her for decades.

I you want your house clean, get a cleaner. If you want someone to play and bond and be affectionate with your children and try and become a part of your family, then re think your expectations on cleaning.

Just remind her to put the milk away...

DiscretionAdvised · 25/01/2013 21:58

Mine does all the cleaning. She asked to and we got rid of the cleaners and pay her extra.

She is part of the family

NumericalMum · 25/01/2013 22:05

Ours unpacks the dishwasher and tidies up after DC. She doesn't clean as we have a cleaner but is very tidy mostly and even her room is tidy (although obviously I don't go in and check!). Today I needed something done i forgot to do and she did it for me. I do most of the washing and ironing but mainly as I don't think it is necessary for her to do a whole load as we have a huge machine but she does sometimes too.

I would get rid tbh. My main criterion was that she needed to make my life easier and not harder...

Original poster

Newtothisstuff · 25/01/2013 22:07

She is already part of the family. I do like her a lot.
She's great with the kids

I can't afford a cleaner.. I can't afford a childminder that would be my first choice lol

I'm sure it will be fine, although I will say if she carries on giving my dd things she's not allowed she will learn the hard way.. A 6 year old girl on an ADHD rampage she will get more than she bargained for !! She's been warned more than once !!!

One more thing is it just the Spanish that like to deep fry EVERYTHING ?? What's all that about my house stinks haha ! I've never deep fried in my life lol

OP posts:

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 25/01/2013 22:09

Closing cabinets and putting milk away is not 'cleaning'. Dirty plates on the sofa.Yes I'd be having an immediate word.

Original poster

Newtothisstuff · 25/01/2013 22:15

The closing of cupboards and putting milk away is the general cleaning up after herself that she can't manage.. Even if she did that I'd be happy lol
That was just a few examples there's many more... I just didn't want to sound petty

OP posts:

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 25/01/2013 22:18

Ours doesn't do any general cleaning and I don't go anywhere near her room. But I would expect her to pick up after herself. For sure.

Original poster

Newtothisstuff · 25/01/2013 22:20

I suppose it's not really cleaning I'm asking.. More help.. Emptying the dishwasher and hoovering, giving the bathroom the once over when she's made a mess etc etc !! At 26 you would think it would be common sense

OP posts:

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 25/01/2013 22:25

Tell her to get a move on or he's preparing the haggis from scratch! [bwink]

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 25/01/2013 22:26

I love the Scotch emotions! [bgrin]

Jessepinkman · 25/01/2013 22:31

My mum is still friends with our old au pair girls. She never asked them to do anything apart from keeping us safe and in the right place. The cleaning/ironing was all secondary.

I think my mum had it about right, having teenage or early twenty year olds in your home, I think you have to look after them a little bit as well.

I really appreciate the difference in my mum who had au pair girls that she is still friends with and my step mother who was convinced that the au pair girls wanted to have an affair with my dad. She is not friends with any of their former au pairs.

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 25/01/2013 22:33

Why did she carry on having them if she thought that? Or did your mum hire and sm had to tolerate.

Jessepinkman · 25/01/2013 23:13

No my mum had au pairs for me and my sister. Then about fifteen years later my stepmum engaged au pairs but resented every phone call home. My step mum has never had to tolerate anything, including me. My step mum had two au pairs, the first she thought being Italian would be family orientated. It didnt end well. Then she had a Canadian, and that didnt end well either.
My mum had a Spanish and several Hungarian au pairs, she is still friends with them. My mum is better at having au pairs than my step mum.

OneLieIn · 26/01/2013 09:25

We have had 4 spanish au pairs, one was a nightmare and lasted about 8 weeks until we asked her to leave. The others are all amazing, all great people, lovely and have been part of the extended family. All a similar age to yours. So, I can honestly say it is not that she's spanish or the age.

I would sit down with her and ask her how it's going and run through the "This is what we need you to do" again. Tell her that you don't think it is going too well at the moment and you need her to do more. Be clear, give her a week and then get rid.

I think it is unlikely that someone that lazy will suddenly become great. SO start looking now.....

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