How did you choose your Au Pair

[CountessDracula]

I have finally given in and said we can have and au pair - difficulties with dd being ill, dh's work going mad and general exhaustion have finally persuaded me that we should give it a go.

So what did you look for in yours

I have a preliminary shortlist (not spoken to them yet)

1. English, 21, looked after her much younger siblings for the past 2 years. The first line of her profile says "I am a christian" which tbh I find offputting, not because I don't like christians but to put it in the first line may imply fanaticism do you think? She sounds very nice and sensible.

1. A 22 yo hungarian girl who says that people say she is a responsible, tolerant ,open minded person who loves fun,children and the life. That sounds more like my cup of tea, she has worked in UK for a year and I think is still here so could interview her. She has worked in a nursery too.

what do you think?

What do you look for in an au pair?

talk to them and go on your gut feeling - that would be my advice never having done it before
Actually just did my first nanny interview last week and I do think a lot of it is just down to personal chemistry.

Yes I agree, I really would like to get someone I can meet first tbh!

ks?

I think being outgoing is an absolute must.

we had an au pair once and it was a total disaster, mostly because she was very introverted and therefore just hid in her rom the whole time. it led to communication problems and she walked out. (there is more to it than that, but that is the essence of it!)

I agree about the line about being a christian being first, although it may not show fanaticism so much as naivity (she thinks everyone with kids would prefer to have a christian looking after them). either way, not good imo.

Gut feeling would tell me a lot more than a cv I think.

Am maybe the first one put Christian as she maybe thinks church going/religion denotes a good characteristic? Maybe.

Yes I am not going to rule someone out for that, I will certainly talk to her.

do you think it woul dbe weird having an english au pair?

they are usually foreign as part of the remit (as it were) is to learn english isn't it?

I may be wrong though as I have no experience on this, but thought I would post on the gut instinct thing anyway!

Is this au pair in addition to or in place of the nanny? Ask a billion questions about nutrition if you want her to cook. They all say that nutrition is important. But, dig deeper. Like do they actually know how to use a cooker, or does everything go into a frying pan? What kind of oil do they fry with? Is a potato a veg?

I think people say "I'm a christian" so you think they are a nice respectable type. For an au pair, I think I would look at the greataupair.com website and search for Estonians personally. They are hard working and honest and generally eat a very healthful diet.

I always send out a questionaire on e-mail in word format and ask for it to be returned complete with picture and CV. This helps you weed out the useless ones without having to talk to them. And, for me, it tests that they are computer literate. I tend to send e-mail to them from work when I ran out of time to have a chat in the morning. So it is essential that she is computer literate.

One thing I've learnt is that everyone looks for something different in an Au Pair which is true because no family is exactly the same. We looked for someone who could enrich my 2 dds lives and to share our wonderful family life with us. Whilst gut feeling is a good indication, I have never met my 2 wonderful APs, prior to collecting them at the airport. Both have turned out better than I could ever have imagined.

My recruitment process consists of a a long list of questions which I ask all applicants to complete and, in doing so, subconsciously they are actually given us a good indication of whether they would fit into our family.

I am not sure about the out-going trait though. My first was definitely this but our current is not - though lovely. I always look for someone who indicates initiative and chuck in a little "teaser" for them to demonstrate this.

When I was looking for mine 4 years ago, I just chatted with them via email and the one that I chose was the one I got on with the best, It worked out fine once we got used to each others funny ways. She just visited for the weekend actually from Switzerland where she lives now with my brother (she's my SIL now).

What a lovely story bubblerock. My single brother does tend to pop round a bit more when we have an AP - shame we didn't have our APs friend round at the time - she was reigning Miss Holland!

MrsRecycle what sort of qs do you ask?

Uwila thanks I have seen your list before. Our nanny is only p/t now (12 hours a week) and as she has now got lots of other work of course, we can't rely on her for cover etc.

I won't expect them to cook anything much tbh, dd can come home after tea at nursery then she will only need a snack not even anything hot.

wow bubblerock!!!

Oh, CD, I think you might be missing an opportunity here. Do you really want to cook when you get from the office. Or do you want her to cook and put it on the table so you can see DD.

Also, I know some people actually believe that the optimum life of an au pair is 6 months. So, you might want to keep that in mind. I thinkAmeriscot is the one who really believes this. And I think she also seeks out someone who has a bit of ambition. Someone who can tell you what she wants to do after she leaves you. For, example "I'm coming to improve my English and then I want to get a masters in microbiology." Someone who doesn't have any plans beyond being an au pair is not ambitious.

You asked CD (copywrite belongs to Uwila as I based mine on hers!) - here we go:

1. Why do you want to become an Au Pair?
2. Why do you want to come to London?
3. Do you have any friends/relatives in London or the UK?
4. If so, where do they live?
5. Have you looked after children before? If so what were their ages and were they boys or girls?
6. What was you favourite part of looking after them?
7. What aspect of children’s behaviour do you not like?
8. dd2 likes to say “No” a lot – how would you deal with this?
9. dd1 is very slow in everything she does – how would you encourage her to speed up?
10. What activities/pastimes have you done in the last month?
11. What do you plan to do in your spare time when you are with us?
12. Are your parents happy with your decision to become an Au Pair?
13. What pocket money are you expecting? (This will be for 25 hours a week plus 2 evenings a week babysitting.)
14. Do you have a bank account?
15. Do you have the funds for your flight to the UK?
16. Have you had any first aid training?
17. What food do you like?
18. What food do you not like?
19. What is your favourite meal?
20. We like our girls to eat healthily – do you know what this means?
21. dd1 is lactose intolerant – do you have any allergies yourself?
22. Do you have any phobias?
23. Describe your health in the past year.
24. What interested you to the role we are offering?
25. Are there any aspects of the role that you need further explanation on?

Oh it's not lovely - they slobber all over each other, yuk and my brother now thinks he's Italian (he sounds v stupid) lol.

Have you seen pictures of the aupairs CD? Not trying to judge a book by it's cover but ours looked really friendly and smiley eyes (some looked well scary!!)

Definitely agree with 6 months thing. Don't know what causes it but it's always there.

Yes a smile does it for me bubblerock. The picture of our nightmare AP (sacked after 7 weeks) was the grumpiest one you'd ever seen. All the pictures I've had show lovely happy people.

We usually have our au pairs stay for 1 yr, arriving in August so as to get a whole academic year of studying English. If they don't study we don't want them!

I have found it to be a wonderful experience, in fact we are going to visit one of my previous au pairs with our new au pair:) They have become friends.

I always ask if they have any questions for me, and if their main questions centre around having friends over, time off, pocket money, using the car/internet access etc I realise that they are not interested in my family or children and therefore are not coming with the right attitude for what we need.

I try to get a au pair who is either taking a gap year or prior gap (ie before going to uni)

Px

ok thanks now would you interview someone who otherwise sounds great but says

I also used to be an internet addict but Iam perfectly cured now :)

Not sure we have room for 2 internet addicts in our house.....

I'd say she's preparing you for (and trying to head you off from) what you are going to hear when you call her references!

If you do employ her, I would be very very careful about use of the computer in your house until you are really settled and feel she is to be trusted - completely password protect your internet access, for instance. She can always use an internet cafe in her time off.

CD, something I have found which works well, is to only see Au Pairs who are already in the country but are not happy with their current family. Most agencies will have candidates like these. This way you actually get to meet them in person and do a proper interview - rather than some long distance phonecall with someone whose English isn't very good!
I always ask them what they are looking for from "their family" - a good leading question that often brings out a list of "don't wants", which is can be very illuminating.
I tell them what I am offering in terms of pocket money & exactly what duties I expect and then ask them if they would be happy with that.
Good luck CD - hope you find someone lovely.

Ooo, don't know. Read Jura's recent thread on not so great nanny. I had a ssimilar experience. But I'd need to know the context of the comment. She was perhaps a bit nervous and just making conversation. Or, she might spend her time surfing the web and downloading porn onto your home network. Trust me. I've been there. It is not that far fetched. Okay, it wan't really porn, bt it certainly wasn't clean.

What are this girl's responsibilities? I think the criteria for someone who is going to clean, tidy, do laundry can be very different from someone who may have sole charge of your DD. And what if you have another? How will that impact her duties?

OMG one from Transylvannia has applied

I HAVE to have her don't I