Aupair needed !!

[Newtothisstuff]

I'm currently registered with aupair world and it's driving me crazy I've had over 247 applications in a month !!
Just wondered if any lovely mnetters would mind asking their aupairs if they have friends they would recommend to me if that makes sense ? I don't mind sticking with au pair world but a recommendation would suit me down to the ground. I live in Hampshire and have 2 little ones, a school age and a little one !! Needs to be a driver for the school run, loads of time off etc etc HELP :-)

im in a dilema. i need ideas.
last month my partner of 5 yrs walked out on me for a fairly good reason now I understand ' his step daughter of 26 attmpted suicide' we tried to work it out so that we move into same hse all of us but the kids 22, 26,28 did not want to. they lost their mother to cancer 2 yrs ago and are still grieving i think.
I want a baby badly and my partener wants to help me. good idea or bad?
we had wanted to get a baby together and had done all the fertility tests etc before this happened. although we are still friends and talking, deep down i still feel disappointed. I dont believe he exhausted the options we had b4 walking out on me after 5 yrs....... much as i understand the love for children especially when they need help like this one did.
He is not asking me to wait for him he wants me to move on but i feel if a baby is involved it may interfere with our moving on ie moving countries, other partners etc obligations to give him access etc...... should i do it with him or just go with my other gay friends?
not sure!

Did you post in the wrong section ?

It might be worth your while going through an agency instead of doing it yourself online if you find it a bit overwhelming.

For my first au pair I used an agency, and then for the new au pair (arriving tomorrow) I went online and used Great Au Pair. I'm not sure whether Au Pair World works the same way, but I could block certain nationalities. I had a tidal wave of Asian and African applicants at first, but once I adjusted the settings to only allow EU nationals through that narrowed it down a lot. Then I considered my criteria and pulled about 10 that I liked the sound of, I got in contact with five of them and progressed to a Skype interview with three of them. Of those three I picked the one that interacted best with the DC.

I think the best thing to do is make a long list, with about 10 or 12 on the list. Delete everybody else so that they are not cluttering up your mind or desktop.

My top criteria were driver, non-smoker, swimmer and sporty. Anyone who didn't meet those basic things were deleted straight away. I also deleted anyone who seemed to be a drifter/serial au pair, anyone who said they loved to spend time with children because they were precious and darlings (they would need to be a lot more resiliant than that to deal with my DC ) and anyone who didn't give much information about themselves. My long list ended up with people who needed to learn English to further their career, mostly graduates. My feeling was that if they had a focus and an end date then the bad days, when it's raining and the DC are fighting and whinging, won't seem so overwhelming. Plus, if they are at class five mornings a week they would make friends so wouldn't be lonely.

How much did you pay the agency if you don't mind me asking ?
Also if you don't mind me asking, how much are you paying your aupair, I've offered £65 a week plus car, mobile extra for babysitting and extra in the school holidays, I thought this was reasonable for what I'm asking for but I've had a few I really liked asking for over £100 a week !!

The agency was less than ?200 for a summer placement, or I could have paid ?350 for a one year placement.

My summer au pair was paid ?100 a week and I paid for her Leap card (equivalent of an Oyster card). The new au pair will be getting ?150 a week, plus Leap card and some use of the car. I hadn't really thought about a mobile for him, I guess I will offer an allowance towards it if we need to phone/text each other a lot. That ?150 includes babysitting (I think I specified 4 evenings a month) and he won't get any extra for holidays as his hours won't change. His costs are quite high, he is paying for his English classes, five mornings a week costs more than I am paying him so I guess he must be using savings or have money from family to help with that.

Gosh ! Maybe I'm not paying enough then !!

I am paying our lovely AP £65pw, but intend to increase to £70 after she has been with us a little while.

She has only been with us for 12 days but so far she is amazing.

To combat being on the lower end of the payscale, we don't ask her to help in the mornings- so she usually gets up at about 10. She does about 20hrs pw, we are flexible, try and be helpful- give her lifts to gym etc, have agreed for her friend to come for 4 days in November etc. Hoping that give and take and trying to make sure she feels welcome is worth more than an extra £10pw...

She has two friends within 30min of us who arrived in the past 2 weeks who are having terrible trouble with their families. She said she feels lucky have found a family who make the effort to be welcoming. And for her part she has been great- equally flexible and happy with give and take- eg helped out this morning as DS2 was a sick, when she was officially off. Therefore I have told her t go out with her new friends this afternoon and just help ds1 out with hw later.