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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Unhappy parent, first time dealing with this.

70 replies

susiemumof · 04/06/2012 14:21

Am a childminder.

I have a special day out arranged for tomorrow with my children and another local childminder and her mindees, I am taking along a mindee of another local childminder as she is taking tomorrow as a holiday and I am not.

I told my mindees parents about this day out last week (it's a fair drive and we need to give ourselves the whole day or else it is not worth going) and all three of my parents told me they do not need me tomorrow as they are all on holiday.

Had a phone call of one parent this morning saying she needed me half day tomorrow (she is contracted for the full day but only needs me till lunch time) I thought she must have forgotten about her day trip so reminded her but she says she did remember but thought I would now have to change my plans as she needed me for the half day.

I have told her I am more than willing to take mindee, he would love where we are going but it would need to be for the full day she got all stroppy then said she would get back to me.

She phoned about a hour later and said she had spoke to other mindees parents and knew I had no children tomorrow and the reason I was being difficult was because I wanted the day out with my own children which she was paying for!

Have had to explain again that it's a joint trip with another childminder and a extra mindee I am watching as a one off but she is digging her heels in insisting she has the right to use me for half a day.

The only compromise I could think off is that she comes and picks her dc up from our day out by herself at lunchtime then brings him home but as it is a hour away she is not happy about doing this.

Am I being totally unreasonable about this? Either way I am going to have to upset the mum or if I did cancel the daytrip (which I really can't see why I should unless everyone else points out something I am missing) I upset other mindee, my dc and the other childminder and her dc/mindees.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Panadbois · 04/06/2012 14:24

She sounds like a cheeky cow to me!

Lovetats · 04/06/2012 14:26

I think she's being terribly unreasonable! You're not a servant yet she's treating you as if you have to be at her beck and call. I wouldn't change my plans just for her on principle.

BestestBrownies · 04/06/2012 14:27

Cheeky bitch! She doesn't own you just because she pays you to care for her child. The trip was arranged in advance and you told her about it. How dare she make assumptions about you like that? This woman clearly has zero respect for you. Based on her behaviour today I would get rid. End of.

susiemumof · 04/06/2012 14:30

She is still in her settling in period of the contract so I think this will make me rethink a permanent place.

I have someone who would fill her space so not worried about that.

She always seemed so lovely before though, that's what was making me doubt myself!

OP posts:
LesbianMummy1 · 04/06/2012 14:31

Tell her you are going as it is not fair on all other children. Its her choice whether to use you as you are able to abide by contracted hours her choice to use or not. 8 years of minding has taught me the needs of one child (or parent) can not be paramount and if you do it once she will expect it more in future.

insancerre · 04/06/2012 14:33

give her some options

a) child doesn't come to you
b) child comes for full day and goes on trip
c) child comes for half day and she collects from the trip and goes home

I appreciate people's plans do change but you gave her plenty of notice and she knew the arrangements.
She sounds as if she is just being awkward

JoinTheDots · 04/06/2012 14:33

She is wrong to say you have no children that day as you are taking on an ad hoc mind. You gave her fair notice about the trip, stand firm and then end the contract I think.

ReelAroundTheFountain · 04/06/2012 14:34

She is being really unfair, you have offered reasonable solutions. Tomorrow is a public holiday - what does your contract say about working on bank holidays? Does she honestly expect you to be available at all times in case she should need you?

I would definitely not change my plans, her dc either comes along or she'll have to find alternative child care. If she's paying for the whole day why does she not just let him go for the whole day? Confused

Frakiosaurus · 04/06/2012 15:59

She contacted the other parents?! And is practically calling you a liar when you say you have an ad hoc mindee.

I'd give her notice just for that tbh.

susiemumof · 04/06/2012 16:03

I don't think she went out of her way to phone them, I presume she seen them at the school. Either way though I think she must have been bitching about me and as I have always got on well with my parents I don't want them thinking I am a unreasonable person.

OP posts:
susiemumof · 04/06/2012 16:04

I just charge the same for bank holidays as I would on a normal working day so it's not like she is paying me double time or anything.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 04/06/2012 16:08

Are you the first childcare she has used? Sounds like she doesn't have a clue how childcare works to me!

susiemumof · 04/06/2012 18:54

Aarrrgghh, tried phoning her but she was not answering so I text asking if I was taking her dc or not as it's getting late and I want to know what's happening. She has just text back asking if I will still charge her for the day if she does not send her dc as she feels she is paying for my family day out!

It's ok to text back "YES! you will still be paying"?

God I actually feel guilty about this now Sad

OP posts:
squinker45 · 04/06/2012 19:05

Hey don't feel guilty. Text back yes, sorry, not enough notice not to charge i'm afraid.

sounds like she is well stroppy, easy to say get rid but i would find it hard myself, am way too soft.

SarkyWench · 04/06/2012 19:12

"As per our contract I am available to work a full day tomorrow and so will charge as usual. Please let me know if you want your dc to join in with the planned day out. Thanks. "

ElizabethDarcy · 04/06/2012 19:17

'She is still in her settling in period of the contract so I think this will make me rethink a permanent place. '

Bye bye parent, how easy as you don't even have to give notice... I wouldn't touch this person with a barge pole, she will only cause you trouble. Sounds like a nasty piece of work to be frank.

You need to write an email to ALL parents now... to re-iterate how your bank holidays work and that you need x amount of notice if they require care on that day (at double fee/whatever is in your contract). If they have any questions, to please chat to you.

MrsCampbellBlack · 04/06/2012 19:20

Lordy I'm not a cm but this parent is being awful.

Personally I wouldn't charge her but would give notice or whatever you do as if this is her in the 'settling in' period what will she be like later.

Hope you enjoy your day out.

sleeplessinderbyshire · 04/06/2012 19:20

she is being totally unreasonable. I use a nursery because I like to be able to pick up/drop off DD at random times and would hate to have to keep to a childminder's schedule. If she prefers to use you, a CM, she has to accept that you go out and about (which is great for the kids)

SarkyWench · 04/06/2012 19:24

(and fwiw our cm is not working tomorrow but we will pay her anyway because she is lovely :) )

Panzee · 04/06/2012 19:24

I'm a parent who uses a childminder and I would never do this. You are not my servant!

RandomMess · 04/06/2012 19:31

She's a bit odd to say the least! Well erm yes it's the holidays your dc will be with you as well what did she expect?????

Heyyyho · 04/06/2012 19:36

Omg what a nightmare woman! So arrogant

KatieMiddleton · 04/06/2012 19:40

I bet she is trying to get out of paying you.

missmapp · 04/06/2012 19:45

We use a cm, she is in florida at the moment, we are still paying as per contract, I am not paying for her holiday, she earns that money!! Have a fab day, and just remind her of the contract she signed

ReelAroundTheFountain · 04/06/2012 20:57

I agree with MrsCampbellBlack - I wouldn't charge for tomorrow but would give notice etc. This woman has no idea about building a good relationship when you're looking after her child ffs!

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