Unhappy parent, first time dealing with this.

[susiemumof]

Am a childminder.

I have a special day out arranged for tomorrow with my children and another local childminder and her mindees, I am taking along a mindee of another local childminder as she is taking tomorrow as a holiday and I am not.

I told my mindees parents about this day out last week (it's a fair drive and we need to give ourselves the whole day or else it is not worth going) and all three of my parents told me they do not need me tomorrow as they are all on holiday.

Had a phone call of one parent this morning saying she needed me half day tomorrow (she is contracted for the full day but only needs me till lunch time) I thought she must have forgotten about her day trip so reminded her but she says she did remember but thought I would now have to change my plans as she needed me for the half day.

I have told her I am more than willing to take mindee, he would love where we are going but it would need to be for the full day she got all stroppy then said she would get back to me.

She phoned about a hour later and said she had spoke to other mindees parents and knew I had no children tomorrow and the reason I was being difficult was because I wanted the day out with my own children which she was paying for!

Have had to explain again that it's a joint trip with another childminder and a extra mindee I am watching as a one off but she is digging her heels in insisting she has the right to use me for half a day.

The only compromise I could think off is that she comes and picks her dc up from our day out by herself at lunchtime then brings him home but as it is a hour away she is not happy about doing this.

Am I being totally unreasonable about this? Either way I am going to have to upset the mum or if I did cancel the daytrip (which I really can't see why I should unless everyone else points out something I am missing) I upset other mindee, my dc and the other childminder and her dc/mindees.

Good for you! What cheek.

I was a minder and a nanny for a long time and only ever had lovely parents, thankfully! Can't believe some people.

If you told her about the day in advance then she is being unreasonable if she expects you to change your plans. On the other hand if a childminder is unavailabe for minding then I do not think the parents should be charged for that time. If a nursery is closed then surely you wouldn't pay.

Sorry I forgot to add. But you are available for minding as you offered to take the child with you. So then she is the one who is being unreasonable. Don't change your plans.

Well done for being straight with her and good to hear you've got another child in already.

Perhaps the mother will be more respectful of cms in future.

I do feel terrible for the child though.

He had settled well and I worry about him ending up at one of the "cash in hand" childminders that seem to be about here.

I don't think keeping her on would do my sanity or business any good in the long run though.

Good job you found out what she was like before a full contract was signed.
I have just had to give one of my families 4wks notice. This is the first time in 4yrs I have done this. I feel terrible but I have genuine reason.
Good luck with new mindee.

Maybe she'll think twice about how she speaks to people in the future though. How dare she be so bloody rude, like you're some sort of minion.

IME it's always the parents who are the problem, never the mindee.

Good for you op! Sounds like you handled that really well!

Well done OP, the parent sounds really arrogant and selfish. If she's like this so early on, she would only have got worse. You have nothing at all to feel bad about, she has behaved appallingly.

This happened to me when I used to have a childminder. Thing is I only needed a couple of hours care and my childminder was going out with her family so I could not use her.

She offered to take my dc but we had relatives comming so didn't want him gone all day.

It was a bank holiday and I always picked him up at twelve on a Monday anyway.

I think it may be better to close bank holidays all together and don't charge.

Didn't think it was worth falling out over but I was annoyed. No need for her rudeness but we all say things in the heat of the moment.

I think it was a bit harsh to get rid of her over this especially as her child was lovely and settled.

After reading northeast post I can sort of see it both ways.

The point of a settling in period is to see if there is a good match though - if there isn't a good match then it's better to end it sooner rather than later.

I feel it was harsh getting rid after one incident as well, however she was the one who told me she thought it was a mistake sending her dc to me in the first place ANC also started looking for someone else to take him.

She was also overly nasty right from the start of this incident and was not willing to compromise, one of the reasons I wanted to work for myself was to try and get away from all the bitching I experienced while working in a nursery. Life is to short to deal with all that.

Yes agreed she was a bit nasty, I am just a bit soft but if you were an hour away it was quite inconvenient for her to pick up.

She wasn't just "a bit rude" though, was she?

She actually rang the other mindees parents to check up, then accused Susie of lying and being difficult in order to try and get a day out with her kids that she was paying for.

She refused utterly to accept any of the suggestions or compromises that Susie suggested and was downright nasty about the whole incident.

I can understand disappointment because the service she'd wanted wasn't available just as she pleased. I can even understand "a bit rude": I wouldn't terminate for that, although I would make it clear I wasn't impressed.

It's the rest of it that would make me adamant I couldn't possibly work with this woman.

I think Susie did the right thing and acted professionally throughout.

I think, eastnorth that your situation was entirely different. You wanted your normal contracted hours for the Bank Holiday, and your CM was unable to fulfill that contract as she had made plans with her family. She shouldn't have done that and you shouldn't have had to pay.

Susie was offering her contracted times, parent just didnt want them - therefore, she should pay.

baffled at why Mum didnt just enjoy the afternoon off

Yes but susie did say she wanted to terminate the trial first.

I think some areas there must be a greater demand for childminders than here.

I am sure if susie didn't have a waiting list she would have let this go.

I am so glad I have changed to a nanny I loved my childminder but it was this sort of petty things that did her out of a job. It is so much easier now. I dreaded telling my childminder that I wanted to get a nanny because I knew she didn't have a replacement.

It's not petty - it's the fact that a nanny is employed by you, and a CM is self employed. Also a childminder has other children to consider, a nanny doesn't.

You get what you pay for in that respect.

I think you did the right thing getting rid, right or wrong, nobody should speak to
Someone like that. I charge all bank holidays but state very very clearly on contracts and in hand book that on no occasion do I work them