Unhappy parent, first time dealing with this.

[susiemumof]

Am a childminder.

I have a special day out arranged for tomorrow with my children and another local childminder and her mindees, I am taking along a mindee of another local childminder as she is taking tomorrow as a holiday and I am not.

I told my mindees parents about this day out last week (it's a fair drive and we need to give ourselves the whole day or else it is not worth going) and all three of my parents told me they do not need me tomorrow as they are all on holiday.

Had a phone call of one parent this morning saying she needed me half day tomorrow (she is contracted for the full day but only needs me till lunch time) I thought she must have forgotten about her day trip so reminded her but she says she did remember but thought I would now have to change my plans as she needed me for the half day.

I have told her I am more than willing to take mindee, he would love where we are going but it would need to be for the full day she got all stroppy then said she would get back to me.

She phoned about a hour later and said she had spoke to other mindees parents and knew I had no children tomorrow and the reason I was being difficult was because I wanted the day out with my own children which she was paying for!

Have had to explain again that it's a joint trip with another childminder and a extra mindee I am watching as a one off but she is digging her heels in insisting she has the right to use me for half a day.

The only compromise I could think off is that she comes and picks her dc up from our day out by herself at lunchtime then brings him home but as it is a hour away she is not happy about doing this.

Am I being totally unreasonable about this? Either way I am going to have to upset the mum or if I did cancel the daytrip (which I really can't see why I should unless everyone else points out something I am missing) I upset other mindee, my dc and the other childminder and her dc/mindees.

If this child is contracted for the full day, would she not pay you for the full day anyway? Regardless of the parent only needing you until lunch?
I would certainly see the parents attitude as disrespectful and consider giving notice.
Let us know what happens!

She needs to get over it. If her child was ft at a nursery and didn't go for a day she'd have to pay. What's a nursery to do?! Shut its doors and cancel all plans cos her precious child isn't going?! Reality check needed

Who does she think she is? Speaking to the other parents about you? Thinks she is paying for your family day out?

If it were me I would send her a very strongly worded email pointing out that she was made aware of the day trip in advance and that as per your contract you will be charging her as you are available. I would tell her that she had no right to speak to other parents about the situation as my contract with her is of no consequence to anyone else and if I were taking other mindees it would be no business of hers (I would remind her of my confidentiality policy which prohibits parent discussing individual t & c's).

I would tell her that I am self employed, not her employee, and she must abide by the t & c's of my contract and not dictate to me how to run my business. And finally I would tell her that the situation has led me to believe that any future working relationship would be untenable therefore I am terminating her contract with whatever notice period is required. Attach a termination letter and any relevant documents and policies.

A bit harsh? Possibly. But you are entitled to enjoy a day out with your own dc's and if this is her attitude now while she is still in her probationary period, imagine what she will be like further down the line!

I must point out that I wouldn't be so quick to get rid if you didn't have someone to fill the space.

I, too, would give notice for all the reasons PositiveOutlook gives.

I've had 2 parents change their plans this week and they need me when they'd said they wouldn't - of course it happens - but I can't imagine either of them treating me like this!

have to agree that this is not a good sign of things to come. If this lady thinks she can dictate terms now rather than have a discussion with you then your professional relationship is't going to be very healthy.
If you can replace the child I would be giving notice in your shoes but obviously it's your decision.

I do wonder if this is her first time using childcare and ergo she doesn't really know how it works.
I totally agree that het attitude-"paying for your family day out" is incredibly rude and should be addressed. However I'm not sure I'd be terminating. I would be tempted to ask her to coffee and explain again the way childminding works. I would then follow this up in writing.
If she continues with this attitude then I would give notice.

Going against the general view here, but I think if you are going to be available, and charging, then you should have offered the standard hours. Under a week's notice of the trip wasn't very much.

She is unreasonable to have expected to pick up her child at lunch, and not being very nice about the whole thing.

Sounds like she isn't used to CMs and didn't think through the contract re paying for bank holidays. Not all CMs charge for bank holidays and she obviously has a problem with paying for them.

I hope you went and had a fab day out!!

You need to get rid while she's on probation and you have someone else wanting the space - else she's going to be a nightmare!!

I disagree Dozer - I am the least organised mum but that would have been plenty of notice. I would also have been thrilled for my kid to go with cm on the trip and had an afternoon to myself

She is being unreasonabla and has slagged you off behind your back most probably so I would

1. send the email to all clients reminding them of your terms
2. ask the next parent on your waiting list if she still needs a spot
3. if yes give the woman notice - you aren't her beck and call girl - you are worth more than that quite frankly.

unreasonabla? unreasonablah!

Keep in in your mind that she is not your employer, she is your client, and you can say no to her. You don't even have to give her a reason, really.

This has all either happened or not now but just another voice to say the client is being completely unreasonable. My dd is only going to cm until 2.30 each day, I have already thought about fact in holidays there will be all day excursions and I am happy to pay full day.

But the CM could offer the usual, all-day hours. She just couldn't offer an early pickup.

Wotnow, arrangements for pay for holidays, part-days etc are not standardised for CMs, it just depends what's agreed and in the contract. Assuming that OP's contract makes clear her charges for bank holidays and that it will not always be possible to pick-up before the contracted time, the client is being unreasonable (not to mention rude).

The point was the parent contracts for a full day but wanted cm to only have her child for a half day on this particular day, and expects cm to change plans to fit in. Tough.

"pay for something you are not getting"

But there is nothing stopping the parent getting what they are paying for, is there? She can either pay for and use a whole day, or pay for the whole day and make her own arrangements to pick up early.

I work in a nursery, and if we had a trip out planned then the parents would also have the same choice - pick up at the end of the session as usual, or if they wished to collect early they would have to come to where we were off-site.

Wotnow i'm not an expert on this as i'm not a cm but I think most charge a fixed amount pw or pcm irrelevant of bhs or if they are taking holiday. The alternative is to increase the amount they charge to average it out in the way nurseries do. I can see why people might find this difficult to get their heads round but it is standard for cms to do. Anyway as has been pointed out she is available just not for 1/2 a day. Again I'm not sure what is so bad about this.

I remember turning up early one afternoon to ds1's nursery to find no sign of him or most of the others. I'd been told they'd gone to the park (an impromptu trip) when they'd return so I went shopping in btwn. Hardly the end of the world and I was glad he was going on a nice outing.

Hi good childminders are like gold dust, having someone who looks after your children and one which your children likes is wonderful, why would anyone want to jeopardise that relationship, especially when it also held a day trip out as a bonus.

this woman has issues...other mothers will not be swayed by her opinion.

have confidence, and get rid of her as soon as you can.

Hi all quick update.

She had a major strop about the whole situation so I sent her a email outlining all my policies (which she already has a copy off) and stated that as I felt I had been reasonable giving her the option off sending her dc for the full day OR picking up early I would still be charging.

Also said I wouldn't be giving her a full time contract at the end of this trial period as I felt that I was not the right sort of childcare for her.

As a goodwill gesture I was prepared to let her go a week early (this Friday our contract runs till next Friday)

She emailed me while we were out yesterday being quite nasty saying she felt she had made a huge mistake picking me to look after her dc and she would get him in with someone else.

I then messaged waiting list mum who wants her child to start ASAP so she is visiting tonight with the hope of starting settling in next week.

Meanwhile the childminder who's mindee I took as a ad hoc yesterday has had a call from the difficult parent looking for a space. She told her she does not have any (small White lie she could cover the hours but not keen after how she has been with me)

Lo and behold have had a grovelling message this morning asking if I can keep her son until she finds someone else (even though she admits this could take a while and might mean she goes over the trial contract) have told her this is not possible and that I filled her space as soon as she said she would not be back.

Obviously i'm not going to break my end of the contract, I will keep her on until next Friday when the contract expires (can fit new mindee in for a couple of hours over the week to settle in for starting the following week) but after that the space will be gone. I have the email and text message from her both saying her dc would not be back so I'm not being unreasonable giving her space to someone else.

Aarrgghh, mindee is lovely as well

Good for you! Am impressed.

I always think that I'd love to be a primary-school teacher as I'd love working with the children but I know I couldn't deal with the parents

Maybe this will give the mum food for thought. If she had attempted a compromise then she would still have childcare!

Well done for being strong, I completely agree with what you have done and I hope you had a lovely day out!

Well your gut instinct was correct, shame that the mindee was so lovely

Good for you. Silly lady. Hopefully the lovely child will settle elsewhere. :)