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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Would you let a 15 year old boy babysit a 7 year old girl?

69 replies

marykat2004 · 07/12/2011 23:20

Hello. In real life I keep getting shocked responses from people for evening thinking about it. The boy in question: I was at his birth, as his mum was on her own without a partner. I've known his mum for 21 years. As soon as DD was born, we swapped babysitting on a regular basis. The kids get along great despite the age gap. The boy has a very gentle manner, and is very patient. We all go on holidays together, and spend Christmas together.

The last few years, though, my friend has been doing an intensive college course, and the boy is old enough not to need a sitter, so we have seen them less frequently, meeting up just for tea but no babysitting.

At times I have suggested that the boy might be able to babysit my daughter on his own (I was babysitting at 13), but only when he turned 15 did my friend feel like her son would be comfortable with the responsibility (ie what if there is a fire, that sort of thing).

I think it's quite sad that people just jump to conclusions, that a 15 year old boy is going to abuse a younger girl. Or am I the stupid one here? Of course it doesn't matter how well you know someone, they can still abuse you, but I really really do not feel like that would happen.

What would you do? Please no details of horror stories... just say 'no' if you think it's a bad idea... it might not happen anyway, we have other possible babysitters..just curious what other people would do or have done...

OP posts:

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bluerodeo · 07/12/2011 23:22

Wouldn't think twice about it
But would he want to?

StealthPolarBear · 07/12/2011 23:22

f he's mature enough then probably yes. Possibly not a baby but a 7yo should be fine (just remembering back to when I was 15)
but I have a 4yo and 2yo so what do i know!

DeckTheHugeWithBoughsOfManatee · 07/12/2011 23:23

The best babysitter I ever had as a child was a teenage boy. I think it's desperately sad that people might jump to strange conclusions about someone you've known his whole life, just because he is male.

What are we teaching young men when we do that?

Original poster

marykat2004 · 07/12/2011 23:29

He's keen to earn some pocket money, bluerodeo.

I keep wondering when he's going to turn into a stroppy teenager but it hasn't happened yet. Last time we went round a couple of weeks ago, he showed DD how to use the xbox game. Not that we are even planning to get one, but it's something kids like to do.

OP posts:

MamaMaiasaura · 07/12/2011 23:29

Op - yes I would. I was babysitting a family with 3 girls and another with 2 boys and a girl at age 15. iMO gender is irrelevant. I knew both families and was mature enough to look after them. If pu do have him babysit make sure you have lots of food in tho lol, I used to raid biscuits

Sillyoldelf · 07/12/2011 23:31

No , I wouldn't.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 07/12/2011 23:31

Yes I would - he'd be like a cousin babysitting.

I presume most of the 'shock horror' isn't that he's 15, but that he's a HE. If it was a 15yo girl hardly anyone would question it.

Of course you need to have a talk to her (if you haven't already, or in fact even if you have!) about the fact that she never has to let anyone touch her or do anything that she isn't comfortable with and that no matter what anyone ever tells her she can always tell you anything and you promise that even if they lie and say something bad will happen if she tells, it wont. But don't do it close to when he's about to babysit because it should be a general discussion, not one aimed at him. No matter who you leave your children with there is a risk - he is no more or no less of a risk than anyone else.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 07/12/2011 23:32

In fact - you know, the only thing I'd worry about is if it would change their relationship if she feels he has to be paid to spend time with her. I'd probably keep the money exchange between you two.

Original poster

marykat2004 · 07/12/2011 23:45

Good point, Chipping. With our meagre budget, teenagers are very appealing as they cost less than nannies, but, yes, it would be good for her not to know that.

OP posts:

mummytime · 08/12/2011 00:03

My 15 year old son regularly babysits his 8 year old sister. In the past we've had 15/16 year old boys babysit - they were good with my "lively" son.

My kids have had very close relationships with some of their babysitters. Middle DD confided about some nasty girls to one teenager we had (who handled it brilliantly, boosting her confidence and then telling me about it privately).

joanofarchitrave · 08/12/2011 00:08

Good grief! Of course this would be all right. A 16-year-old lad has babysat for me, he's fine (though I have a ds, is that different??) In general if I am paying a teenager I prefer them to have parents who aren't too far away and I prefer just to be going to the centre of town rather than a massive journey. But otherwise, surely the only other criterion to think about is whether you think he's OK as a person and whether your dd likes him (if she's going to be awake)? I have to say I'm not too fussy about the latter myself though if ds said he really didn't like a particular sitter I would listen. Enjoy your nights out.

wellymelly · 08/12/2011 00:11

Sounds ideal choice to me. You didn't say whether the shock responses were specifically questioning whether he would be a potential child molester. Is it posssible that they question whether a 15 year old boy would be responsible enough?I know plenty of 15 year old boys I wouldn't leave in charge of a hamster for the evening, but then again there are loads who are much more responsible than I was at 15, (I am female). Its not like he is having to change nappies or get her ready for bed, is it? And if he was, what is it that makes a female 15 year old babysitter any better at these jobs? Perhaps just ask if he is any good at storytelling!! My friend's 15 year old daughter whilst babysitting even managed to get my son to complete his homework, which is more than I ever achieve!

Slightlytinsellyexpat · 08/12/2011 00:18

I think this is absolutely fine. We used male and female teenagers as babysitters for our DCs. Whether they are boys or girls (the babysitters) I think it helps to know them and their parents fairly well. You do know the boy and his mother really well, as does your DD. Enjoy your night out.

cat64 · 08/12/2011 00:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NotnOtter · 08/12/2011 00:30

sillyoldelf ...weird ...whyever not?

south345 · 08/12/2011 06:51

We left a very nearly 15 year old with our 6 year old and nearly 2 year old he was fine but he only lives round the corner so his mum offered to help if he needed and we kept ringing to check as it was the first time.

Hopstheduck · 08/12/2011 06:57

Depends on the kids. One of my 7yos is far too lively and generally misbehaved to be trusted with a 15yo. The only babysitter we can use is a professional childminder who reminds me of supernannny! Some 15yos are more mature than others too.

TBH the thought of abuse would have been the last concern on my mind and I think it is rather sad that you think that might be the main issue of concern by others.

fraktious · 08/12/2011 08:51

Again depends on the kids and depends on the times. He might have trouble convincing her to go to bed on time but if you were doing a Saturday afternoon type thing then it may work better.

My concern would be the age difference, not the gender difference!

Bonsoir · 08/12/2011 08:53

My DSS1, 16, regularly babysits for DD, 7, and I often leave DD and DSS2 (14) at home alone for a couple of hours while I go shopping etc. I have noticed, however, that other mothers are not interested in my DSS1 babysitting for their children even though he is experienced and responsible (and actually really likes little children, unlike many teens!).

TheFallenMadonna · 08/12/2011 08:54

I thought you meant age (I would stll think it OK) rather than abuse potential

The boy next door babysat for us from 15. Sadly he has now left home.

molschambers · 08/12/2011 08:57

If he is happy to do it and you consider him to be reponsible enough then yes of course. She's 7 so it shouldn't be particularly challenging keep an eye on her for an hour or too.

If people are because he's a boy then that is really very sad.

anewyear · 08/12/2011 09:00

Our friends 19 yrold DS baby sits for us.
Yes hes a few years old, than your 15 yr old.
He keeps them in line!!! especially my stroppy 13yr old DS1
Respect to him..lol
Unfortunatly DS's dont see it that way..oh well never mind

Chocchip88 · 08/12/2011 09:02

As a child I always had teenage boys as babysitters! My mum didn't think it was fair that only the local girls got babysitting jobs. It was fine, I am fine!

Sillyoldelf · 08/12/2011 09:51

notanotter no I am not weird - that's fairly unfair . My opinion is based on over a decades worth of experience in a job that makes me feel uncomfortable about leaving my DD in the hands of a male babysitter . I have heard many unpleasant stories about now adult females who were left with male family friends as children . As a child I certainly would not have felt comfortable with a male baby sitter .

wordfactory · 08/12/2011 10:14

I have a 15yr old coming this evening. She is a total star, utterly dependeable.

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