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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Would you let a 15 year old boy babysit a 7 year old girl?

69 replies

marykat2004 · 07/12/2011 23:20

Hello. In real life I keep getting shocked responses from people for evening thinking about it. The boy in question: I was at his birth, as his mum was on her own without a partner. I've known his mum for 21 years. As soon as DD was born, we swapped babysitting on a regular basis. The kids get along great despite the age gap. The boy has a very gentle manner, and is very patient. We all go on holidays together, and spend Christmas together.

The last few years, though, my friend has been doing an intensive college course, and the boy is old enough not to need a sitter, so we have seen them less frequently, meeting up just for tea but no babysitting.

At times I have suggested that the boy might be able to babysit my daughter on his own (I was babysitting at 13), but only when he turned 15 did my friend feel like her son would be comfortable with the responsibility (ie what if there is a fire, that sort of thing).

I think it's quite sad that people just jump to conclusions, that a 15 year old boy is going to abuse a younger girl. Or am I the stupid one here? Of course it doesn't matter how well you know someone, they can still abuse you, but I really really do not feel like that would happen.

What would you do? Please no details of horror stories... just say 'no' if you think it's a bad idea... it might not happen anyway, we have other possible babysitters..just curious what other people would do or have done...

OP posts:

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redglow · 10/12/2011 08:29

No wonder you are off sillyoldelf you cannot back up what you said. You called nototter rude and then you finish with pipe down, thats rude.

LaCoccinelle · 10/12/2011 09:02

I wouldn't consider it a problem, you know him well enough to know if he's sensible enough to cope, and your DD is old enough to be quite sensible with a babysitter too.

I let my little brother (16 at the time) look after DD(4) and DS(3) for an afternoon, there were other adults in the house but they were having siestas (big family holiday in Spain). Dbro spent the whole afternoon reading to them, and playing cowboys and indians, it was really lovely and they all enjoyed it. If he didn't live so far away I'd definitely have him as a babysitter now.

BluddyMoFo · 10/12/2011 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chubbasmum · 10/12/2011 13:59

my friend`s son used to babysit my daughter when she was eight he was 15 i made sure that she was in bed before he came and he was happy watching telly and munching munchies, as long as he is responsible i dont see any probs

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 10/12/2011 14:02

Yep.

In fact, chief babysitter/school-picker-upper for my 8yo DD is a just-turned -16yo boy. He's great with her and with my 16mo DS and I have just given him a reference for another family who he is going to babysit for

I don't get why on earth anyone wold automatically assume this would be a problem, so long as the boy in question is sensible and happy to do it.

hopenglory · 10/12/2011 14:06

Yes, the 15 year old son of my friend babysits for my 8 yo DD (and 11 yo DS). He's far stricter with them than the 15 year old female babysitters I have used

purepurple · 10/12/2011 17:11

Yes.
DS is 7 years older than DD so at 14 he was minding a 7 year old.
He was very srtict with her and years later I found out that he used to insist she held his hand to cross any roads.

festi · 10/12/2011 17:22

I would not think you wrong for doing so, but I wouldnt allow teenagers under 18 probably to babysit my dd male or female, but Im probably a bit weired for that.

If you are happy then I dont see the problem OP.

annaklingon · 10/12/2011 17:30

My DS used to babysit for our neighbours who had a 7 year old - he was 15 or 16 when he started.

The wee girl used to love him coming round - he has the patience of Job and used to get up to all kinds of nonsense with her - he let her put make up on and do his hair when it was very very long and hair bear bunch-esque. And there were silly ghost treks round the garden in the dark and other such stuff. And he used to read her a story and tuck her into bed.

I think it's very very sad that some posters have assumed abuse. If anyone thought that of my son I would be devastated for him. And bloody angry.

sunshinenanny · 10/12/2011 17:58

Pipe down! Sycophants! glad to see you are displaying your usual tolerance to those who question your opinions, sillyoldelf. It is you who are being rude not the other posters on this thread.

marycat I would go with your instincts some 15 year olds are very sensible and some not. you know this boy and if you think he's okay he probably is. If it's age you are worried about I was babysitting at 14 as were many of my friends. As for him being a boy; As other posters say, being a 16 year old boy doesn't mean he's an abuser.

sunshinenanny · 10/12/2011 18:00

Sorry I meant 15

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 10/12/2011 18:07

Fine. You know your daughter and how she is with him. You know the lad and how responsible he is and how they would get on. They're the key things.

I was babysitting for the neighbour's son when I was 13 and he was 4. Babysat him for donkeys years in the end.

PattySimcox · 10/12/2011 18:14

I would have no problem with this - in fact my friends DS has babysat for my two (DS and DD)

I am shocked and saddened that people think that abuse is a possible issue.

Pippaandpolly · 10/12/2011 18:18

My brother used to babysit for our neighbours toddlers (as did I) when he was about 16. No problem at all in terms of responsibility, though it did help that our mum was next door so I guess had anything disastrous happened he could have got her. Go with your instincts - and his mother's. If he's responsible and mature enough and has a good plan for what to do in an emergency, I say go for it.

Pippaandpolly · 10/12/2011 18:18

'neighbours' toddlers' - gah.

eastmidlandsnightnanny · 10/12/2011 21:23

Anybody could be a potential abuser they dont come with a label on them, any age (yes including children sometimes young children), gender, religion, race etc.

Only you know this young lad and actually my brother loves children and is at uni and about to graduate and has just applied to do his PGCE and babysat as a teenager.

I personally no matter who I was leaving my child with would want it to be someone I felt comfortable with - and as I dont really know anyone other than our childminder (he goes to nursery one day a week too) we havent been out other than when my mum came to stay but thats our choice.

So guess what I am saying is no I dont see an issue and dont think you are the odd one - yes people do jump to conclusions

Original poster

marykat2004 · 12/12/2011 09:39

I think i've caught up on this thread. Thank you all for your input.

In the end I got an adult babysitter and that was lucky for reason I never could have predicted - at the last minute, the friend who i was going out with called in total desperation about her dog also being looked after for the evening. No way would I want that responsibility for a young (15 year old) boy - having to take the dog out for the toilet at night. It's a block of flats, fairly safe at the moment, but still. Glad that it worked out this way. And I will try having the boy babysit maybe in the day time first, just to get him used to being responsible.

OP posts:

eastmidlandsnightnanny · 12/12/2011 14:04

sounds reasonable mary why not have him come and do the odd afternoon after he finishes school to get to know your daughter better and have some kind of responsbility for a couple hrs whilst you are home but getting on with jobs that need doing (or as my choice would be having a cup of tea and read of a mag in another room) so you can be called on if needed.

Obv would need to pay him a small amount but would give you and him the confidence he would be fine on his own

Original poster

marykat2004 · 12/12/2011 21:57

He always hangs out with her when we visit each other; The mums drink tea and the kids play on the video game or something if we are around theirs (which is more often than them over at ours as I just like to get out of the flat more often.) So the kids are pretty used to each other, but, yeah, to make that step into them being home alone, see how that goes. Christmas might be a good time as the parents have a tradition of a lunchtime drink in the local pub, and the pub no longer seems to allow children. So they could stay home, that will be an easy one as we'll only be 200 meters away.

OP posts:

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