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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Would you let a 15 year old boy babysit a 7 year old girl?

69 replies

marykat2004 · 07/12/2011 23:20

Hello. In real life I keep getting shocked responses from people for evening thinking about it. The boy in question: I was at his birth, as his mum was on her own without a partner. I've known his mum for 21 years. As soon as DD was born, we swapped babysitting on a regular basis. The kids get along great despite the age gap. The boy has a very gentle manner, and is very patient. We all go on holidays together, and spend Christmas together.

The last few years, though, my friend has been doing an intensive college course, and the boy is old enough not to need a sitter, so we have seen them less frequently, meeting up just for tea but no babysitting.

At times I have suggested that the boy might be able to babysit my daughter on his own (I was babysitting at 13), but only when he turned 15 did my friend feel like her son would be comfortable with the responsibility (ie what if there is a fire, that sort of thing).

I think it's quite sad that people just jump to conclusions, that a 15 year old boy is going to abuse a younger girl. Or am I the stupid one here? Of course it doesn't matter how well you know someone, they can still abuse you, but I really really do not feel like that would happen.

What would you do? Please no details of horror stories... just say 'no' if you think it's a bad idea... it might not happen anyway, we have other possible babysitters..just curious what other people would do or have done...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

thebody · 08/12/2011 15:20

my dcs often babysat for my friends kids when they were this age, I would be livid with the suggestion that my dd now that age was more suitable, in fact shes a love but she isnt maternal at all.

my sons understood littlies as they had a baby sister, she is effectivly an only child so act like one and sees the mindees as a bit of a pain tbh, where my now adult sons are very fond of them.

silly, if you are basing these opinions on decades worth of experience let me tell you that abusers come with both sets of plumbing not just male.I hope if your job is in safeguarding you realise this.

NotnOtter · 08/12/2011 21:32

silly old self. That's an isult to 50% of the population and a gross generalisation

Original poster

marykat2004 · 08/12/2011 22:22

Ah, a good point would be that perhaps to try a day time few hours first, just to see how it all goes; perhaps over xmas the children can spend an hour or so at home while grown ups nip to the local pub (which no longer allows children - not that we ever went that often).

My friend and her son live about a mile away, not next door but not too far.. but still, for his first time babysitting, maybe day time would be better. Just for them to feel comfortable. Also, another good point is that my DD is a nightmare at bedtime, won't go to bed, and even really wore out her favourite babysitter last time she was round. So, nothing dodgy, but a few practicalities to consider.

btw there are a few male nannies about where we live, so it's not that unusual to see men in childcare roles.

But at the same time I seem to know some paranoid people who seem to think all men - and teenage boys - have only one thing on their minds.

OP posts:

redglow · 08/12/2011 22:46

Yes why do some people think that all teenage boys would be perverts a lot of us have got husbands who were 15 once certainly not perverts. Marykat as you know this boy its a lot safer than having a 15 year old girl you do not know.

PandaG · 08/12/2011 22:51

woudn't bat an eyelid. use 2 male teenage sitters, and both my DC are delighted if either of them are sitting. Do know them and their families well though, would want my DC to be cxomfortable around whoever was babysitting, gender and age irrelevant

candytuft63 · 08/12/2011 23:01

i had a male babysitter who would be about 15 and i was 6. he was lovely, kind and patient coping with a disturbed child (my father had just died) and he was the best person to be with me. a close neighbour, who knew our circumstances..
it wasnt the babysitter who abused me, but my BIL
go figure

NotnOtter · 08/12/2011 23:10

candytuft as a victim/survivor myself - i am glad to see your post

my teenage boys both babysit for several familes!

kickingking · 08/12/2011 23:18

Seriously, people are assuming this boy will abuse your daughter?!

That is so sad.

DooinMeCleanin · 08/12/2011 23:18

No, no, no. He will feed her pizza and frootshoots and let her stay up past bedtime. Not a good idea at all. Unless of course you are happy with the aforementiond poisons being fed to your child, in which case

Original poster

marykat2004 · 08/12/2011 23:24

Well, I won't have total strangers babysit, for one I can't afford their rates, and for another, DD even says she's not comfortable with all my friends, even one who is a registered childminder (we are working on that phobia, I think it might be her accent or something, I can't really work it out at all my DD is scared of this woman), so I wouldn't invite someone I don't know around.

My mom used to have nurses babysit, if there were no teenage neighbours available, and nothing bad ever happened, but I do recall feeling vaguely uncomfortable having someone I'd never met look after me.

DD wants this boy to babysit, probably because she thinks she will be able to stay up late, so, as I said in my last post, not because of any danger, but maybe we should wait and try daytime first, because DD is a big handful at bedtime. Haha I am laughing a bit now to think of him telling her to go to bed, I can imagine it, they would be playing some kind of game or watching tv til all hours...

OP posts:

Original poster

marykat2004 · 08/12/2011 23:26

DD tries her hardest to boss her parents around, she would not do as she was told even though he is 8 years older than her.

Who was it that said they know a supernanny? maybe I should take it back about strangers and get a supernanny round...

OP posts:

DooinMeCleanin · 08/12/2011 23:28

'I can imagine it, they would be playing some kind of game or watching tv til all hours...'

StealthPolarBear · 08/12/2011 23:29

"teenage boys - have only one thing on their minds."
well they do :o But 99.9% of them contain their fantasies to girls and boys aged 14+, as it should be.

candytuft63 · 08/12/2011 23:33

notn- glad to see your post too how silly to think that all boys are potential abusers looking for an opportunity.ridiculous and cynical.
sorry for puntatuation ruddy laptop.

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/12/2011 23:35

I would in a heartbeat. You know him, you trust him, go for it.

candytuft63 · 08/12/2011 23:38

punctuation

Sillyoldelf · 09/12/2011 12:01

nototter you are rude. The questionwas would you let a 15 yr old boy babysit . I answered the question. I am entitled to my opinion . You don't need to be rude- your post reflects more on you than it does me . I have mentioned nothing about abuse potential that was everybody else ! I have 2 sons of my own so pipe down and stop being insulting .

StillSquiffy · 09/12/2011 13:04

"I have heard many unpleasant stories about now adult females who were left with male family friends as children"

And where exactly were you not implying abuse?

janek · 09/12/2011 16:13

i wish i knew a 15 year old boy who could babysit for my dds!

Sillyoldelf · 09/12/2011 18:25

Well yes in my line of work I have met LOTS ! But there are other reasons why i wouldnt have a lad babysitting . But for the record I wouldn't have a 15 yr old girl babysit either , been there done that and wouldn't do it again . And yes it was a very reliable family friend .I'm off now , quite clearly diversity of opinion is NOT allowed on this thread and quite clearly everyone is supposed to be a bunch of sycophants . I'm off .

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 09/12/2011 18:32

I was reguarly baby sat by a friend of my mums son when we we both similar ages, ie I was about 8/9 he was about 15/16, I developed a massive crush on his as he was so lovely, never forgot him and named my ds after him.......

So there is that aspect to consider

NotnOtter · 09/12/2011 23:01

tatty bye

hmc · 09/12/2011 23:03

You know the boy very well, trust your instincts, it sounds fine

strictlovingmum · 09/12/2011 23:24

DS 16 frequently babysit DD 5, yes brother and sister, but still teenage boy babysitting young girl, I would not think twice, if you know the boy well.

CointreauVersial · 09/12/2011 23:32

I can't see any problem.

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