Is my live-out nanny eating too much of my food?

[confusedperson]

I just hired a live-out nanny for my two DC. Before hiring, she asked if she is allowed to eat our food. To be honest, I hadn't thought about it, so I said yes thinking that she will eat what is served for children (normal quality food which I would eat myself). I have a meal plan and I always half-prepare lunch and tea myself, she only needs to cook/serve.
To my surprise, I noticed that a lot more food is consumed than the provided lunch, tea and snacks. Like the almost the whole loaf of bread per day, third of packet of spreadable butter per day (surely 1 adult and 2 under 4 wouldn't eat that much?), 8 yogurts that I bought for one of my DC are gone in 3 days (usually he has 1 per day with us), a big yogurt that I bought for her is also gone, some days 3 eggs are gone (not on the menu), or half of jar of peanut butter in 2 days. I don't think she gives all that to children (cos it's not on the menu), so must be eating her self. She is a young slim girl but still... I like her otherwise, children like her too, but I feel like she is going to make me go bankrupt. It is only been 3 weeks with her, and I am still watching, but I feel it's too much. I don't want to start counting what she eats, and I don't want to demotivate her, but I think is abnormous. I just did shopping last Sunday.. .for days on, the fridge is completely empty, and still weekdays to go.
What would you do?

correction I just did shopping last Sunday.. .four days on, the fridge is completely empty, and still two weekdays to go.

I was prepared to say no, but that sounds like a LOT of food! I'm a nanny and tend to err on the side of caution by eating less of my employers food and buying treats myself with my own money - I dont think its fair to expect them to subsidise my biscuit habit! I wonder if shes having a lot of playdates/friends around?

It's a bit hard to tell as people do have different appetites. Do you have a strict diet sheet ? I am wondering how youcan measure use so exActly and be sure its the nanny. My dd eats a lot more food and even stuff she wont eat with me with nanny ('mainly as tends to be ravenous after school) so i find it hard to measure amounts as what happens varies. So may be that not nanny.

Some of it sounds not surprising - 8 yoghurts - if kids have 1 she has 1 a day that is 6. It's not beyond possible that kids want another.

WhAt I am saying is hard to Judge but I really an issue maybe have some basic stuff that can eat freely of (eg bread butter) and make clear what else needs too last the week for all of them.

Sorry read you did meal plan and prepare it- are you absolutely sure it's not kids?

that does seem excessive

and she actually asked before she was taken on?? do you think she eats as much as she can at yours so that she doesn't need to eat at home? to save money or something?

weird.
i would definitely talk to her about it and set some limits

It is hard to judge indeed. But when my DH was staying at home with DC, I used to prepare food for them in the same manner, and they consumed much less. And I basically told her, for example, 1 yogurt for a child per day (I am not counting DC2 because he is only 1 and eats fromage frais). So all those are gone, yogurt that I bought for her (big one is gone), and 4 soya yogurts that I bought for myself also gone (1 consumed by me). I didn't mention, that we get fruit from local asian shop almost every day, they come in 8 apples, about 8 bananas, 8 pears.. (we buy at least 3 of everything). They gone in two days. I don't believe my children eat that much, because my DH used to stay with them and he says it is not possible, and I know it myself. I really don't want to judge, but I am terrified by the amounts of food that just disappear.
Oh just checked that my peanut butter jar which I bought 4 days ago, has only a spoonful on the bottom left. I haven't touched myself and I don't think children did.
I always ask my DC1 what did he have, and it is always what I left on the menu. The little one cannot talk yet, but he surely does not eat that much.

Ok when you put all that in it does sound Ott. Maybe other poster who had idea about her Stocking up at yours is right .
Sit down and agree what is her ration .

I don't know how much she eats of the children's food (usually none left and I try to leave three portions while DC are only 3 and 1), but it seems that she likes snacking rather than eating?
Oh, how do I approach this.. it was meant to work out cheaper than two nurseries, but I might start to regret our nanny at some point.

If she has been with you 3 weeks isn't it time for a how you are getting along chat. Bring it up there- say there is x amount of food for her and if she needs anything else she has to buy it.

Gigondas, how do I define that x amount?

My nanny has large sandwich for lunch (maybe 3 slices of bread) with corned beef/cheese and piece of fruit. She may have another piece of fruit or cake (if I make it ) or biscuit . Plus milk for a couple of coffees and water . Occasionally she might have some baked beans or soup .

That is probably about what I would have I. A day at work (or If home with dd) ie lunch plus 2 snacks plus maybe 3/4 hot drinks and water (neither of our nannies were into soft drink). Does this help? Am sure others will indicate what they think reasonable.

confused, we've just taken on a nanny on the same basis (can't be worse than 2 lots of nursery fees) and have found that it is more expensive. Even with only DS at home all day and DD at school, it's quite a difference. That being said, the consumption you describe sounds excessive. Can you approach her in the context of talking about your children's diet so that she understands that you've noticed?Maybe that would make her back off a bit?

Does sound a lot. I am live in and even then I buy a lot of my own groceries as I know I can be a greedy cow have hungry days However I am aware never to eat MB special bits and pieces - would count your yoghurts as these-

Could she be having extra playdates I know some days we appear to eat a lot but that's usually because we have nanny friends for lunch or tea. Nanny playdates can account for a huge ammount of fruit or a good portion of chocolate biscuits

It's certainly worth raising the subject with her. Perhaps approach it from the perspective of: How are you finding the meal planner - are you finding the children are eating the meals as planned? Ask her if she is liking the meals that you have planned, if there is anything she thinks should be added/changed. Then mention that you have noticed that supplies of thing (name the things that you are most concerned about) are going faster than you expected, thus you wanted to see if she had any idea as to why such as are the children telling her that they are allowed two pots of yoghurt when you only let them have one.

Be honest with her and say that you are concerned about the food consumption due to the price of food. Sure you don't mind her making a portion of lunch for herself but consumption of food seems to be higher than you had expected. Just by talking about it, she may think more about what she is having and how that affects the family budget.

Does she make many cakes with your children? I find that butter and eggs I use quite a lot, as I bake cakes and biscuits. We also use quite a lot of cheese, such as in cheese biscuits/straws as well as in sandwiches or as a snack on it's own.

For lunch I tend to have a sandwich so 2 pieces of bread, some crisps, salad bits, or warmed up left overs from the night before. I sometimes pick up something from Tesco if I fancy something else. I also help myself to bread for toast in the morning, and milk for my hot chocolate/tea. During the day if we have playdates we may make sandwiches/beans on toast/pasta and sauce.

Agree with Nick could she be using some things for cookery with the kids, feeding the ducks, does she add lots of extra veg to pasta sauces/shephherds pie etc.

sorry to be flippant, but does she have a large handbag ? seems v odd that she asked about eating before being taken on ..... i think she may see you as a bit of a supermarket as well as her employer

Just ask herb what food she needs and then you'll gauge whether it's appetite / kids / ducks / theft

I'd be MUCH firmer. You need to sit down and be really clear that she is eating a disproportionate volume of food. You don't need to go into what is wrong with what she has been eating, just simply tell her 'this is what I provide for you to eat in a day - equivalent of x pieces of fruit, y biscuits etc - and anything further you wish to eat while you are at work you will need to pay for yourself.' That way you won't get into the conversation of whether she is bulimic or stealing, but can just be very straightforward about what you have budgeted for.

I would just say 'I just don't know how we are getting through so much food- we went through 8 yogurts in x days could you make sure that you don't give the children more than one per day' this may be a less up front way of dealing with it?

I was about to say YABU until i read your post

yes that sounds rediculous

when i nannied i ate all 3 meals at work, but i ate a normal amount of what the children ate...

1 bowl of breakfast cereal with a cup of tea / sandwich & piece of fruit & yogurt for lunch, / main meal of what the children ate (a small-ish adult size portion) with a piece of fruit. (often the 2 dc and me would share a couple of pieces of fruit that i would cut up... so 2 pieces between the 3 of us.

the children didnt snack so neither did I, athough if we had done baking i'd have a piece / slice of what was baked.

The children drank water so thats what i drank too.

I don't provide food for my live out nanny - should I be? She brings her own lunch and she can have as many drinks as she likes. Should I be?!

Is she inviting friends round who bring children with them? Could that be part of it - if you are hosting playdates regularly and feeding more people that you think?

How many hours does she work?

Iggly - have you specifically asked her to bring her own food or is it just something she has done since she started with you?

It is quite usual for a nanny to eat the food at work - if an early start then they would eat breakfast (I know I can't face eating at 6.30am before I leave home), and lunch. Only an evening meal if nanny has a particularly late finish. It's usual for a couple of reasons - you don't get a break where you can pop out to buy some lunch and it's good for the nanny to eat the same food as the children, it encourages them to eat well and they don't make a fuss because they want want nanny is eating.

However, some nannies will prefer to bring their own food - ie. if they are on a diet or if they have a food intolerance.

Well I went on the basis that I don't expect work to feed me so she brings her own lunch. DS has a narrow diet so no point her eating with him. He has a 90min+ nap from 1pm so she eats lunch then. She works 8-6.

Thank you for all your replies. I admit that was my mistake that I hadn't thought about feeding nanny beforehand, and did not specify quantities. In the first week I didn't realise the food was going so quickly, because I hadn't checked what I had beforehand. I also especially did not want to appear mean to her.
Only after the second week I noticed that so much had gone, and in the third week I had to top up food in the middle of week. She works 8-6. She does not have playdates. She told she baked cake and muffins on 2 occasions (actually one she only told after my child told to me), if it is activity with my kids I don't mind, but then she said she baked 6 muffins and my child ate 2, so she obviously ate four, which would be fine if it does not become "baking for herself" from my products.
I am thinking to introduce diary where she should write what my children ate, then I can have a track of what else was eaten. Also I am thinking that I will buy food for a week on the weekend, and tell her that's for a week, and I write her daily instruction what foods to give to children, so she should be clear what's remaining for her. I am not going to top up in the middle of week again!!!
To make sure she is not starving there will be always bread and butter.
I am very reluctant to have a chat with her at this point, because I don't really understand what's happening, so I will let myself to observe for another week or so...
Thank you all for advices.