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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Oh gawd, second problem with nanny this week...

92 replies

headfairy · 22/11/2011 15:09

after the hitting incident we've established she didn't really hit him now one of the women at ds's nursery says she saw ds in town yesterday on his own in a toy shop. She asked him if mummy was around and he said he was with our nanny. The nursery woman looked around for our nanny and she was in a different shop the other side of the shopping centre. When the nursery worker told her about ds she continued shopping and about five minutes later went to collect ds from the nursery woman.

Ds is four and I'm really shocked our nanny just let him wander around the shoppin centre unsupervised while she shopped for herself, but how on earth do I approach our nanny to ask her about it without shopping the nursery worker? She was understandably cautious about telling me, she sees the nanny every day and if I ask the nanny about it, it's obvious it came from her.

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bump6 · 23/11/2011 13:43

to be ofsted registered you need some childcare qualification, an up to date first aid certificate and crb check!!
I would be very worried if this was my nanny, you say your ds was happy to be left in a toyshop...he is 4 I don't know anykids who wouldn't be happy to be left in a toyshop!!
Its not a matter of being qualified or being paid less than other nannies(though think its good pay if brings own child, gets all that holiday and 3 meals a day) its a matter of common sense!!
However obviously up to you, but can you really hand on your heart say you won't worry about Ds when you are at work and as redglow says what else happens you don't know about??
Hope you get it all sorted.

Dozer · 23/11/2011 22:13

i would sack her immediately.

befuzzled · 23/11/2011 22:22

headfairy i live in the same area as you i think and nurseries are way more - £60+ per day ........ she is very cheap for the hours I think, was it in the shopping centre beginning with B?

ScarlettIsWalking · 23/11/2011 22:47

Please don't let her look after him. Don't tempt fate any more.

callaird · 23/11/2011 23:14

I have been a sole-charge nanny since I was 17 years old, I have no formal training (unless you count 6 weeks of the NNEB that I did before I left because I was offered my first job) and did some odd things when I was much younger (one vivid memory my now 25 year old ex-charge has is sitting on the beach having a picnic and eating sweetcorn straight from the tin! I did take spoons!) But even at 17 I knew that I couldn't let my charges out of my sight. I still panic now when taking my 14 year old ex-charges out and they need the bathroom and make them go together and stay together!

I would not be able to trust someone who took their eyes off my child for 10 seconds, him being in a whole other shop is completely out of order.

headfairy · 24/11/2011 12:31

Update:

I spoke to our nanny this morning about the situation, I said it as though it was something ds had told me and that I wanted to clarify if it was true. She described the situation exactly as the nursery worker had recounted it, so I don't think there was anything malicious or intentionally neglectful in her behaviour. I think it just genuinely hadn't occurred to her that it wasn't safe to do this. My gut feeling is that cultural differences do come in to play here. She's from a very rural part of Poland, she said it was only for 5 minutes and from her expression and demeanour she did look genuinely contrite.

I said that ds wasn't to be left on his own at, I said I thought she should keep personal shopping to when she didn't have the children, but if she was in town and did need to pop in to a shop I did understand that sometimes you just need to do a quick personal errand. I said if ds was egging her to let him go in to a toy shop she was totally allowed to say no to him and if he ran off she had our permission to carry out suitable punishments (no cartoons or removal of favourite toy). The funny thing was she did say that he was very confident at talking to strangers, and I said this was the very reason why he's not to be left on his own, he's not the type to run away from strangers, he's much more likely to chat to them, and if he did cross paths with someone with bad intentions he may even willingly go with someone.

I've given it much much thought over the past couple of days... I'm going to keep a very close eye on her. This is the last chance for her. One more thing and she'll have to go. I'm going to start putting out the feelers to see if there's anyone out there who would work for that kind of money. My mum has said she's going to keep a closer eye on her too, she only lives 15 minutes away and has for various reasons not been able to be around much.

Befuzzled yes it was where you think it was, upstairs. Ds was in ELC, she was in New Look across the way. You're right about the price of nurseries too. I do remember looking at nurseries when I was going back to work and I do remember it being more than the £100 per day we were paying our then nanny (that was net and it was killing us but bloody hell she was an amazing nanny!) Plus of course we'd have to pull ds out of preschool which I think would break his heart, he's got so many friends there. I know they get over it and make new friends etc etc, but it would have to be a last resort for me. I've got 9 months until he's at full time school :o

Thanks so much for the input everyone, I have taken on board everything that's been said. My gut instinct is that for now I will continue with our current nanny, but I will keep a much closer eye on her from here on. Sorry for mega post!

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befuzzled · 24/11/2011 13:10

I know what you mean baout a cultural thing, ELC is quite sheltered, but I would never leave my 4yold in theer alone while I was in NL - mainly becasue he might wonder across to look for me and I would be worried about him going down the escalator or something. My 7y old i might just be about to consider it - they are quite close, but I would never ever do this with someone elses child. Now you have made it ckear this is unacceptable I hope that does the trick HF!

headfairy · 24/11/2011 13:13

thanks befuzzled, so do I! I hadn't even thought about the escalators, ds often runs off in a bid to get on them and I usually have to yell at him to come back!

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confusedperson · 24/11/2011 13:22

I think you made the right decision. Bloody hell with these nannies (my thread on here is about my nanny consuming too much of my food).

I also have 9 months until my eldest starts school, and then goodbye to nannies!!! My little one will go to childminder or nursery. Can't wait!! (at the moment we cannot afford two nurseries or childminders, and nanny was the only option).

headfairy · 24/11/2011 13:25

confusedperson i read your thread and very nearly posted because our nanny eats loads and she's tiny! I watch her having 2 boiled eggs and three rounds of toast for breakfast every morning, and she starts at 9 Shock

However because I'm aware we're not paying the highest salary I won't say anything. I'm just amazed at how she stays so slim eating so much. I made a load of chocolate truffles and froze them to see if they were ok in the freezer, and she ate the lot! We have another fridge freezer in our garage and I squirrel a lot of stuff away in there because she usually forgets about it. I do let her know if there's anything specific I don't want her to eat, ie if I'm saving it for a special meal I'm going to make etc.

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RitaMorgan · 24/11/2011 13:57

If she comes from somewhere where children around your ds's age walk to school or errands to the shops on their own, then leaving him in a shop for 5 minutes probably doesn't seem like an issue. Hopefully now you've made your feelings clear to her it won't happen again.

farmazon · 24/11/2011 14:30

Headfairy, I'm from quite rural part of Poland originally and have a 4-year-old dd. It wouldn't occur to me to leave her in any shop on her own. Neither here nor in Poland.
And I can't think about any of my Polish friends who would leave their children unsupervised in shopping centers.

So I'm afraid I think your nanny's lack of common sense/safety awareness doesn't have much to do with her nationality or culture. I would honestly reconsider employing her as a nanny to your children.

headfairy · 24/11/2011 15:23

farmazon Thank you for your input.. that's very interesting. I do think I'm going to have to keep a much closer eye on her. I do think she's got a different, much more laissez faire attitude to child care. Now that's fine at home, we've had a few toys destroyed while she wasn't paying too much attention, a few fights break out with the kids, but it's a totally different matter when out and about. Dh is going to have a word with her too this evening when he gets home. I think she's under no illusion that what she did wasn't right.

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BrianAndHisBalls · 24/11/2011 17:38

Personally, and feel free to ignore me obviously, I think you're mad. Your ds is your most treasured 'possession' in the world and you're leaving him with someone who thinks its ok to leave him in a shop in a shopping centre and go into a different shop? Shock

headfairy · 24/11/2011 18:21

I won't ignore you Brian :) she doesn't think it's ok any more. I've made sure she knows it's not acceptible.

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BrianAndHisBalls · 24/11/2011 19:12

I know what you're saying Fairy, but, to me, its like if she thought that was acceptable (and I'd say if you did a quick questionnaire 99% of parents would say it isn't) then what else does she think is acceptable that you just haven't come across yet? Sad

Difficult situation for you I appreciate, but I just would never be able to relax again I think with her in charge.

sunshinenanny · 26/11/2011 22:48

A nanny is responsible for the child she cares for and it is unnacceptable to leave him in a shop while she buys tights. I am much more protective with my employers child as I am aware I have been entrusted to keep him safe, healthy and happy.

being a mature nanny I always think people probably think I'm a protective older mother when I'm out with my chargeSmile but as it's been said, it's different with your own children you are not answerable to anyone else but leaving any young child alone in a shop seems poor judgement

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