Nanny off with depression

[FionaSR]

Our nanny is off with depression having attempted suicide.

I do not want to make things worse for her but am worried how reliable she will be looking after my 3 year old. It's a demanding job and can be quite lonely which could be quite difficult for her. My DD is bright and active so you need to be alert.

She has only been with us for since the beginning of the summer but she's been good until now.

Also, I have no idea when she may come back. I cannot afford to pay two nannies but need reliable childcare or I will be out of work.

Do I keep the job open - not sure how - or give her notice ?

Close to 3 weeks.

Yes. Gross misconduct is instant dismissal. But not this counts. The communication has been difficult but I do not know whether she is genuinely unable to speak or her parents are covering in some way, protecting her or filtering the communication.

I have said I need to talk to our nanny directly but they just say no as she is depressed. I have tried calling texting and emailing the nanny directly again but no reply.

Agree with mj- post on employment as flowery or hairylights should have some advice on how to communicate .

I can see her parents are doing what they think is right (but sounds like ott before all this) but I thought it was days ago not 3 weeks. Whilst I can see nanny may be no
Better you would think that they could see why you needed some clarity on situation .

Gigondas: DD v confused. Ongoing lack of communication is very difficult. If someone is not fit to have a conversation it is hard to see how to go forward. Will post in legal and try to add a link to this thread.

Thanks

I think the registered post is only option giving notice. Sympathy re dd- mine same age and nanny is part of her routine so must be confusing. Sooner you can get a new nanny routine in place the better .

Thanks. Appreciate support and input. DD is confused. I am distracted at work and home and DH running out of patience. I am v worried for our nanny who was lovely with my DD but we cannot go on like this.
Have posted on legal.

The longer this thread goes on the more well-intentioned but unfortunately incorrect or just bad advice you are going to get. IMHO no professional who knows what they are talking about is going to comment without knowing the full picture and having an engagement in place. ACAS doesn't count - their advice is given without liability. Please talk to a lawyer who is going to help you do the right thing without making things worse for you (or her).

Here are a few things to consider:

• Lack of contact is not always gross misconduct - if she had had a car accident and was in a coma she could not contact you.
• Suspension (on SSP) may be an alternative to termination.
• Comments like "the smiley happy nanny I would employ to look after my DD" and others are probably not very helpful in supporting a case that you are not discriminating against her.

Mranchovy: I appreciate your points but I am interested in any similar experience of others - nanny or parent.

Also the reaction of others is helpful to me in putting my own reactions in context, to retaining perspective and taking a view on what is reasonable.

The support of others who can relate to the situation is also invaluable as it is not easy. (I know it is worse for our nanny)

Mj. Thanks. Didn't know they were different.