One for the parents - although opinions from Cms would be good to

[doonhamer]

You dropped your child off at CM at 7.45 am. Child started screaming when you left. Chid has never ever done this at CM's before, child is 18 months old and has been going to CM since he was 8 months old. every day.

So CM rings you at 10 am and says "can you come and collect your child, I think child is possibly ill/teething or possibly has a bug virus working on child, child has cried and screamed since you left, and I have other children to mind, one of whom is only 14 monthsold, and your child only wants to sit on my knee. i cannot move, put child down or do anything else, we've had to leave toddler gorup today because of child'scrying"

What would you say?
What would you do?

CM's would you do this (ring parents) or would you persevere? If you would perevere, how long for?

Parents - would you be angry and annoyed?

I would go and collect my child. I would not be angry and annoyed. I accept that, despite my brilliant childminder's best efforts, sometimes only Mummy will do and I would not want my clearly distressed child to have his discomfort prolonged.

CM here, you gave it 2 hours, that's enough and yes I would expect the child to be collected. I've had much worse BUT down to being new/settling in and therefore as long as parent was happy, I'd carry on. You've had this child long enough to know this is not their usual behaviour and therefore you need to cover your back in case they are ill!

As a cm I would expect the parent to say 'thanks for letting me know, i'm on my way'.

As a parent I would not want my child distressed for any longer and would say the same.

I wouldn't be annoyed. If DD was so upset and possibly ill, then I would want to know straight away so that I could collect her.

As a CM, I would think two hours with a child who is visibly distressed and inconsolable is plenty long enough, especially when I have other children to consider.

I think my CM would call to check if it's ok to give calpol after an hour of unusual behaviour, then if he still wasn't settled would call for me to go pick him up. And I would go, immediately (or get DH to go, if he was nearer). I would not be angry, and would thank my CM for looking out for my child's best interests.

I'm assuming that's not what has happened to you?!

If unusual behaviour then as a parent I would want to know and would come and collect - my childminder would only do this if there was a really good reason
Saying that my 13 month old sat on my CM;s knee for most of day recently but they didn't have to leave toddlers or anything like that

crapbarry From another forum, I've learned that CMs should only given paracetamol with express WRITTEN permission for that day, rendering the general consent form most people use useless

Even a phone call to the parent doesn't seem to be sufficient.

Think this is another Ofsted suggestion.

Flisspaps - on the one occasion we've needed it, I've signed a retrospective permission form, on top of the usual general consent form. that new recommendation sounds ridiculous tbh... It's useful for CM to be able to give pain relief if I'm 40 minutes drive away, surely?!

You'd think so. But I'm not sure that the people who actually come up with these suggestions have ever actually worked in any kind of childcare environment.

Something else will be recommended next week, either no medicines at all, or get parents to sign something on arrival each day to say you can give medicines. Or CMs can only give medicine without written consent for that day when there's an R in the month and Jupiter is in alignment with Saturn but not Mars.

As a parent of course I would come and collect my child asap no questions asked. I would not be annoyed.
I would do this because I was worried about my child.
The only bit that might annoy me slightly is the stuff about needing to care for other children as it makes it sound as if CM regards child as a nuisance and is blaming child/ parent for the disruption to their day rather than being concerned for the child.

mamadoc - my guess is that something like that would be said because the parent maybe thought it was ok to just leave them at CMs? I've had this before and had to say to the parent that I'm concerned for the child but even if they're not, I do have to think of all mindees!

yes I would call the parents too

I'd be happy to go and pick mine up. If they've cried for 2 hours and its not a normal occurance then I'd worry.
How's your little one now?
Incidentally, some friends of mine took their child to A&E as he cried for 5 hours non stop, he was about 19 months at the time. Drs were quite worried and talking about doing a scan when he suddenly stopped crying and asked for a juice!

I get the impression from reading this that you are a bit angry/annoyed that c/m called? C/m would only do this because she was worried. Hope your little one is ok though.

As a CM I would contact a parent after 2 hours if the behaviour was unusual. Actually I would personally probably do it sooner as it would really concern me if a child who had been settled for 8 months suddenly started screaming for no apparent reason and could not be settled.

As a parent I would be worried about my child and go and collect them and take them home as somebody said above, sometimes only mummy will do.

I often think one way to work out if the CM's actions were justified is to put the boot on another foot. For example, how long would you expect the childminder to ignore your child's needs whilst she sat with a screaming child on her lap?

I wouldn't be annoyed

This happened to me (but it was nursery, not cm). Manager is lovely, asked permission (I have signed for this) to give one dose of calpol in case it was teething or whatever. I said I would call back 20 minutes later.

I was not angry at all. I would be more angry had they let my child be distressed all day.

In the scenario you describe, if it was my dc I would assume that they were either ill/about to become ill or possibly frightened and I would want dh or I to be with them.

I'd be pleased they'd contacted me, and would collect my child ASAP. Why?

Young children can become seriously ill very quickly. I, too, would expect any parent I needed to call out to trust my professional judgement and to collect their child as soon as possible.

I wouldn't read too much into her saying she needed to care for the other children, especially if she felt that you were annoyed at being called out. It sounds to me more that she was trying to justify why she couldn't look after your child rather than showing a lack of concern for him. Did you imply that she should have soldiered on?

'You've had this child long enough to know this is not their usual behaviour and therefore you need to cover your back in case they are ill!'

Exactly looney, she waited 2 hours to call the parent, shes brave, If not defo not normal behaviour, would have been half hour to an hour with me!!!!!

And as Tanith says....

So doonhamer your the parent? or the childminder?
If the parent, do you not think the CM should have rung you, if not, may I ask why?

Sorry, didn't realise you might be a childminder playing Devil's Advocate. My apologies if that's the case.

Do you mean to say you had a parent upset with you because you called them out for the above? Her 14 month old baby inconsolable and she thought you were out of order?

It's not often I'm lost for words at someone else's callous irresponsibility but... I'm lost for words!!

I've read this over and over again and read it as this being from a CM?

Right, I've been 'detective' as I then started to wonder but was pretty sure I'd seen the name before. The OP is a CHILDMINDER and not the parent. I'd be very surprised to see a parent come on here and moan about being called (although suspect this parent did moan to OP!)