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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

One for the parents - although opinions from Cms would be good to

71 replies

doonhamer · 18/03/2011 10:59

You dropped your child off at CM at 7.45 am. Child started screaming when you left. Chid has never ever done this at CM's before, child is 18 months old and has been going to CM since he was 8 months old. every day.

So CM rings you at 10 am and says "can you come and collect your child, I think child is possibly ill/teething or possibly has a bug virus working on child, child has cried and screamed since you left, and I have other children to mind, one of whom is only 14 monthsold, and your child only wants to sit on my knee. i cannot move, put child down or do anything else, we've had to leave toddler gorup today because of child'scrying"

What would you say?
What would you do?

CM's would you do this (ring parents) or would you persevere? If you would perevere, how long for?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

looneytune · 20/03/2011 15:29

I'd like to defend the OP like I did earlier in the thread.......I'm pretty sure she said the last bit about how it affected the other children etc. BECAUSE the parent wouldn't come home? I'm right aren't I OP? Also, as for not phoning earlier than the 2 hours, I also guessed that the OP knew how this parent behaves and therefore left it a bit longer than normal (it's really hard having a parent have a go at you on the phone because THEIR child is ill and all they can think about is work :()

Also, I'm sure I'm right about who this family is and therefore am not at all surprised they didn't collect.

OP - you need to log that in your record of concerns! If you haven't already and remember exact info from previous situations, log them too. I do worry about these children and I'm sure you do too.

Chin up, you did right and this person is horrible. Hope the rest of the notice period hurries along and you get the money due for this time!!

Original poster

doonhamer · 20/03/2011 15:40

looney - thank you.You've guessed correctly

OP posts:

looneytune · 20/03/2011 15:45

I thought so! Honestly, these people!! My policy says that failure to collect can lead to me needing to contact Social Services (standard thing I think) and I'd had been very tempted to actually do that!!

Anyway, was pretty sure your post was the overall discussion (well your part) and not that you phoned and said those exact words! LOL I got what you were trying to say anyway :)

So when did they finally pick up and what was said?

TidyDancer · 20/03/2011 15:47

Shocking. Of course the parent should've collected and YWNBU to call.

Original poster

doonhamer · 20/03/2011 15:51

Child was picked up at usual collection time of 5.30pm. Mum finished work at 12.30..
She was raging when she came to get him.
She was also furious as I'd said that I hadn't been able to cook either of them their usual dinner "well don't think I'm paying you for that then" she said (meals are included int he rpice)
He'd slept (which I think was half the problem) he wakens at 4am every day, goes to bed at 6.00pm. He doesn't sleep much when he's here, never has, but had a good hour's sleep. he was realy grizzly though when he woke, screamed blue murder if I put him down, so it was easier to jsut sit there with him hanging onto me.
poor sibling of his, he was wild!

Seems though that most parents think i was in the wrong to ring her in the first place

OP posts:

mranchovy · 20/03/2011 16:06

Flipslaps was that 'other forum' this one? Not everything you read on a forum is true you know

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/03/2011 16:07

you did the right thing, and yes i would go to a M&T as

you have other children to consider (another reason why the parent should have picked up ill/unhappy child)
sometimes a change of scenery works for screamers

why a mum would say no to calpol is beyond me :(

mranchovy · 20/03/2011 16:12

No doonhammer, I don't think you were wrong to ring her, and I don't think the other parents that posted here do either.

What we have suggested is that in general, the conversation you quoted in your original post would be better handled in a different way.

Georgimama · 20/03/2011 16:16

The conversation she quoted was an amalgam of the things OP said to the mother, including after she refused to come and get her child.

I would have told her that she came and got the child or you'd report to SS, tbh. I don't see why you should have to look after an ill child, particularly if you are not allowed to medicate them.

mranchovy · 20/03/2011 16:29

I don't think threats are a very professional way to handle a problem either :(

Georgimama · 20/03/2011 17:47

Neither are sad faces. The child was ill and his welfare is the responsibility of its parents, not the childminder. It is outrageous that the OP should be placed in that situation. I can't believe how much some parents take the piss.

fivegomadinthelambingshed · 20/03/2011 17:59

If you are who I think you are then then poor kids still

looneytune · 20/03/2011 18:06

Hi fivegomad :) Yes, I think you're guess is right! Tbh, I think a chat with SS would be a good idea in this situation (not just because of this latest issue!)

fivegomadinthelambingshed · 20/03/2011 18:10

Oh definitely.

thebody · 20/03/2011 19:06

I would call parents as behaviour is different from the norm.. sceaming could indicate severe illness/pain and parents have to know... of course..

thebody · 20/03/2011 19:14

god sorry just read last page!!! plank I am!!! of course you werent wrong.. couldnt work with this family. would give notice...

and have done for similar family.. called mum to collect child with a temp 39.5 (I have a medical background and can deal with this but obviously not as cm) she said to only call her when temp 40 as 'thats high'.. yes gave notice that day.. mental..

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/03/2011 20:13

Tbh would you expect any different from These parents? :(

Not long now :)

anewyear · 22/03/2011 10:18

I've clicked, dur
As blondes says, not long now,
you do a brilliant job dont ever doubt yourself.

Original poster

doonhamer · 22/03/2011 10:34

Am raging today, have been to docs as not been great for weeks. "Take 2 days off " she said "recharge your betteries, laze around doing nothing and see how you feel". Plus I have to get lots of tests etc done.
While I was in the clinic, I had 5 missed calls from the dad wanting to know when I was going to pick up his children. Saying that he'd not taken the older one to nursery as "I thought you'd be out by now".
Then when i got home there are 10 missed calls on landline from him.and text messages - "are you remembering to pick the children up from here today"

I have been ill for weeks and actually feel quite sad that not once, ever in that time has the mum or dad "how are you feeling today?" even wehn they know I've dragged myself out my bed and have relaly wanted to stay in it because I felt so crap.

OP posts:

lollipopmother · 22/03/2011 13:55

This family has been such a nightmare from start to finish, I really do feel for you OP

ojmummy · 22/03/2011 15:13

I would trust CMs judgement & would go & collect if she thought it best, although I may ask if Calpol had been given and may suggest trying that then reviewing in 30mins (maybe)???? I would be worried about what my work would say as thats just the kind of place I work at unfortunately, but baby would come first & I wouldnt be angry or p*ssed off with CM.

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