Oh dear, i feel really bad now

[Saltire]

Just had a text from my infamous mindees mum. She's actually dropping them off this week as the dad has now got a full time permanent job.
She is supposed to be dropping them off before 8.30 because I leave for school then

She has just texted me to say "please can you give x (older child) a piece of toast to eat ont eh way to schol, as we don't have time for breakfast"

So I ran gher and said that I wasn't really keen doing that. So she said that " well x is a realy slow eater, and he likes cereal in the morning but it takes ages to eat it and we don't have time even for toast, and since he goes straight to nursery he'll need something"

At this point I had a lightbulb moment and asked
"so last week when dad dropped them off, had he had breakfast?"
Answer - NO.
The reason was that the dad didn't have time

I feel really bad now, as the wee soul had nothing from getting up till snack time at nursery, which is about 10.30.
I know it's not my fault, but I feel quite distressed by it
I felt like saying "well fucking well get up 1/2 hour earlier then"
But I didn't

I'm afraid I would have done the "well fucking well get up 1/2 hour earlier then" route. Give the boy his breakfast once and you will be asked again and again....

Ask the parents to drop them off earlier so you can give them breakfast. Children need their breakfast and using the excuse of time isn't acceptable imo and neither is eating it 'on the hop'. Poor kids. I would feel for them too.

Does the nursery not provide breakfast? Ds's does!

IIRC it's more a preschool than a nursery so I wouldn't be surprised that something starting at 9 didn't serve brekker.

And no, if they don't have time for toast how the hell do YOU have time for toast when you're leaving directly for the school run unless she wants him eating going along, in which case she as the parent can take that risk herself?!

She needs to either get up earlier or drop off earlier (oh....but that would mean getting up earlier....don't think that'll go down well).

Oh I see it's a preschool not a normal nursery

Yes he is getting his pre-schol funded place. he gets lunch there though, which I don't understand.

I've read your posts before about this family and I don't think you have anything to feel bad about! I think his parents should be giving him breakfast, if it's not in the contract for you to do so.
They will simply need to get up earlier and that is their problem not yours.

Please don't feel bad, from what I've read, you have already gone above and beyond the call of duty here.
Time to put your foot down(I know, easier said than done ) or give notice. You clearly have the patience of a saint.

I've read your posts before about this family and I don't think you have anything to feel bad about! I think his parents should be giving him breakfast, if it's not in the contract for you to do so.
They will simply need to get up earlier and that is their problem not yours.

Please don't feel bad, from what I've read, you have already gone above and beyond the call of duty here.
Time to put your foot down(I know, easier said than done ) or give notice. You clearly have the patience of a saint.

Please excuse the double post

I think the mum thinks its my duty to provide breakfast as meals are covered in teh cost of childcare. However, she knows perfectly well that we leaves the house at 8.30(preferably before) to go to school, and that now mindee1 also goes from there to nursery. No excuse IMO.
Mindee 1 is fast asleep on sofa now and his brother is screeching - he's been up since 5am and is shattered, so trying to get him to sleep but know I am fighting a losing battle

Losing the will to live now

Agree with MrsPW, Saltire.
Do you charge per meal? if not, if I were you, I would do an snacks, and itemise it all on her next bill,
(time for a new contract too, me thinks)
that goes for if shes early and late picking up, Id be inclined to get a diary especilly for her, write down when she arrives, leaves and get her to sign it daily..cannot be disputed then.

Oh and I think you are doing a great job with that particular family.

I would do, and for snacks,
that should be

I think you should say "yes I do provide meals - when the children are at my house with reasonable time for me to serve it and for them to eat it. Of course I can give your son breakfast - I'll be seeing you at 7.45/8 from now on then?" I haven't even read your other threads but I can only imagine! Hope the screaming has stopped

How long does it take to make/eat a piece of toast for goodness sake! A minute in the toaster and then, if necessary, he can eat it on the way to yours.

One of my children is currently in a special unit and gets picked up at 8am - he's not great in the mornings and he does get breakfast at his special school, but I still manage to find time to get something into him before he leaves the house. I couldn't send him out in the morning with nothing in his tummy.

stewie - it's partly my own fault, as I put on my information sheets that the cost included meals (but I meant lunch and tea and snacks), and never in all my years of CMing have parents tkaen it to mean breakfast. hwoever this pair are a rule unto themselves.

DH almost yelled her 2 weeks before christmas. he never ever gets involved, but she was moaning about how busy she'd been at work, but she'd never actually been in work for 3 weeks because of snow, and DH said that to her.. Anyway she dropped them off this one morning at 09.30 and said to me "oh X (the younger one) has been up since 5am but he's not had breakfast so he'll need some and Z (older one) only had a little drink of milk"

DH was incredulous and said to her "your child, who is less than 18 months old has been up since 5am - that's 4 1/2 hours ago, and you've not given him anything at all to eat" and she said no, because what was the point if he was getting fed here and anyway she had been getting ready to go shopping so didn't have time.
He said "but your not even in work so it wouldn't matter if they were late in getting dropped off as you don't have to be at work for a certain time

he was raging

it's called "can'tbebothereditiswhensomeothermugwilldoitforme" it's a well known fast spreading disease

My son is a NIGHTMARE to get to eat breakfast and sometimes won't eat until an hour half, 2 hours after getting up, but I certainly wouldn't expect someone else to take control over that at the last minute - I'd send him with an apple or tub of fruit or something - oh but that's called, taking responsibility - and i forgot, that clashes with the dreadful disease as mentioned above!

both sleeping now.

oh god saltire - I do remember your threads now - get rid as soon as you can! good on your DH!!

dont feel bad, pre school will give him a healthy snack about 10/10.30

you need to be blunt anf firm with this mum, i thought you had told her that if a child arrives after 8pm it is assumed they would have had breakie

simply tell her that if child arrives after that, you will NOT feed him and if she bleats about not having time then tell her to get up 30mins early

tell the lazy cow that she is a mother and it goes with the job description that she has to feed her own bloody child!!!!

saltire she is playing you like a fiddle and you are much to nice to her...

tell her that you HAVE to leave at a certain time and its her responsibility to feed them before they get to you if thats the arrangment..

what a bloody nightmare.. poor kids... poor you... wonder why some people bother to have kids in the first place..

She really wants her moneys worth. She doesn't bother feeding her small child because she thinks she has paid you to feed him. Doesn't care think about the child being hungry.

maxy is right, she couldn't be botehred feeding her own child because she is hoping the thought of him being hungry will force you to feed him.

Thing is he can be hungry all he likes, but I still have to leave for school at 8.30, so if she doens't feed him then mindee 1 will get fed at 10/10.30a nd the younger one will get fed at about 09.30 when i get back.