DS @ CM,noticed incorrect car seat

[Funky2sarah]

Hi There

My DS aged 2years goes to a CM once a week for the whole day. Today she picked him up from me, I noticed that when she put him in the car he wasnt in a 5 point car seat with harness, just a seatbelt on a booster. Now I am sure that this isnt SAFE and defo not legal.I let him go with her but kicking myself for not saying something!
How do you approach this?
Also I locked my self out this morning and as I had just dropped daddy of at the station, I didnt have any of my DS stuff with me (coat/nappy bag/snacks etc), was all in the house. Anyway, rang MIL who was en route with key. CM arrived, I apologised and said that I didnt have anything because of my mishap. She just shrugged her shoulders and said oh well, I asked if she had any spare nappies etc, to which she replied no. Anyway I asked her to wait a few mins so that I could get all his bits. She wouldnt!
She didnt say "dont worry i shall sort him some lunch and nappies" was very unhelpful, I realise it wasnt her fault but I kinda expected her to be a bit more understanding and reassuring.
Anyway, off he goes.
A couple of other issues, as with most 2yr olds he has good and bad days with food. I gave her a list of fave`s which inc sarnies, fruit and other picnic bits. She basically demanded after 2 days that I bring my own food for him as he is so fussy!No reduction in fees as food inc, just bring a PL.
Today in the bag, which I dropped round before lunch once in the house was bread sticks,apple,banana,raisins,mini sausages,cucumber,crisps and a fruit pouch. She sent me a text tonight to complain Toby didnt have lunch as I didnt send anything! Whats all of the above if not lunch..does that mean he didnt have anything?!
Last week he had a sore bottom/red raw, so I sudocreamed him up and sent him on his way. Daddy picked him up, I took him upstairs to get ready for bed..guess what his nappy was almost hanging on. There was no sign of fresh cream and he was now bleeding as so sore. It looked very much to me like she hadnt changed his nappy all day and looking in his bag Im sure no nappies were missing. Nothing was mentioned in his book re his bottom etc.
Anyway, sorry for the saga...WWYD
Thanks guys
xx

Morning Everyone

Thanks for all your advice and help yesterday...well I got my response....

She is sorry that I am clearly not happy with the care T is receiving. I forgot to pop his diary in the bag this week, so she has been unable to document his day. (could it not be written on a separate sheet and stapled into the book next wk?!!)
She said apart from him doing a poo last week she recalls nothing of his bottom...hmm,surely as a CM you would mention such an open/sore/bleeding bottom and note that you had to pop some cream on?!

The car seat she is using is suitable from 15kgs - TBH I havent had T weighed in a while but he is borderline in my opinion and I dont deem it safe that an only just 2yr old can easily remove his arms from the seatbelt.Having checked online the average 2yr old only weighs 12kg, and he isnt at all on the large side, quite skinny/tall!

Under the circumstances she feels its better to terminate my contract either under 6 wks notice or with immediate effect (which is her preference!)She will reimburse next weeks money....

So there it is..by voicing my concerns, I have well and truly upset her..now who can look after T on a monday for me..anyone?!!

xx

a quikki as my mindees all asleep.. i bend over backwards for my parents as much as possible.. she sounds rude, unhelpful and the csar seat is definatly a red warnoing light..

you dont need this.. get rid.. much better out there..

if i was closer I would help you.... I can't believe how awful she is being to you and your little boy.

Speak to your boss and explain that you will need to bring DS until you have found him alternative childcare

Funky2sarah.

NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT COMPLAINING. YOU WERE JUSTIFIED TO VOICE YOUR CONCERNS.

You need to contact your county's FIS. Local Authorities have a legal obligation under the Childcare Act 2006 to ensure there is sufficient childcare provision in your area.

Also, most childminders belong to a childminding network. It would be interesting to know who she had as a back-up. It is good practice - and OFSTED usually ask about this during inspections - to have another registered childminder as back-up just in case. Do you have a copy of her policies? It should clearly state the names and contact details of alternative childminders should there be an emergency.

Your local Surestart Centre should be able to provide you with a list of registered childminders in your area. As should the NCMA.

Having read the whole thread, I think you should be looking around for a new job. This one sounds like a bit of a nightmare.

One where you can take your DS with you, or one which pays enough to cover a childminder. Can you commute into London from where you are? I'm thinking you would be payed a decent wage if you were working in London, but using a childminder where you live.

A freind of mine worked in a nursery, and took her daughter there as well. At the end of the week she came out with £8. She only did it for the experience (it was her first job). I was wondering if something like that might work for you, if it means you are able to claim WTC/help with the cost of child care?

It is heartbreaking and i do understand your dilema but your priority has to be your ds. Without trying to scare you, what you have described is blatant neglect and you should be worried.

If you explain to your boss how the cm is treating your son will she be a bit more understanding and surely your inlaws would be flexible for a few weeks if they knew how serious it was?

She is bang out of order for not using a correct car seat. Those seats are meant for from 4 years or 15kg.Your child is unlikely to be either.

My DS is 3yo, tall and big for age and still only 17kg. He cant use a high backed booster seat. He still hasnt got the mental undestanding not to underdo belt. I am keeping him in his 5 point until max weight of 18kg.

Please report her to ofsted. Its wrong.

God knows what you are going to do about Childcare. Please speak to your boss.

Good luck, sorry she's been so awful but better off out of it I think.

If you do email her again, send her this

This is another link - its from link on Rospa webpage

car seat restraints and the law

Sorry, I didn't read the whole thread before adding my comment.

I hope it works out for you and your ds, there are some brilliant childminders out there.

If it were a Friday I could help until you got sorted - sorry that's not more useful! My friend runs an agency that covers your are and they often get NWOC positions! If you're interested pm me and I'll give you the details. Not sure I'm allowed to post it on here! Good luck.

poor you saz :( its hard to find a job where you can take your own dc

you CAN NOT leave your ds there, not chnaging nappys is neglect and putting in a wrong car seat for his age is dangerous [hangry]

if i did that i would be fired!!

i dont know what to suggest, i know it took you a long time to find this job, but you have to think about your ds as well

Could you look for a cm near to where you work?

Re. the car seat - I bought a high backed booster years ago that was suitable from 9 months. However, there is no way I'd put a child that age in it. My large, just turned 3, mindee goes in a 5 point harness. I think this problem would be worth mentioning to Ofsted.

I used to be a nanny before I had ds and did a couple of part time jobs after he was born. After struggling for ages to find a decent nanny job I registered as a cm. When I first registered, I lived in a one bedroom, 1st floor flat. Space was very tight but even having one child 3 days a week paid more than the nanny jobs I was applying for.

Re the paperwork. I know it gets talked about a lot on here but really, once you get the hang of it, it's not that bad. The hardest part is at the beginning when you don't really know what you're doing with it (but MN is always here to help!!).

I am the most disorganised person I know and I got a 'good' from my last Ofsted inspection (before I moved and had to re-register ) so there is hope for everyone!

Also, my house is quite small but with clever storage you can fit all the essentials in.

As you're paying for childcare for your own child and are working part-time hours then you'd probably only need to look for one child to cm to earn a similar amount as your nanny job (wild guess) and therefore wouldn't need much in the way of toys, equipment etc as presumably you have some things already for your ds.

Can you ask for some unpaid leave from your nanny job to give time to sort something out? I think all parents of children under 5 are allowed up to 3 months unpaid leave, provided you have a contract I would have thought you would be entitiled to request this?

Hello, we use a childminder in Guildford who we like a lot. She is quite a mature lady (late 60s I would say) but she has been a childminder for a long time, she charges £4 an hour. She just does school drop offs (on a Tues and Thurs) and a Wednesday pick up for me, but I know she has other children during the day, not many normally, maybe one or two. I think she sort of likes a quiet life during the day, but she could well have space just one day (she doesn't work Fridays and is quite busy after school on a Wednesday I think), you could try her. She doesn't advertise on childcare links I don't think or anywhere, just word of mouth. If you'd like her number then drop me an email on helencw (at) fsmail (dot) net and I will give it to you. I can't guarantee she could help, but maybe worth a try ?

She lives in the Wood Street area (Stoughton etc) but traffic from there into Guildford town centre in the morning is not dire and it's reasonably accessible to the A3 if you come off at the Uni turn and go through Park Barn.

Otherwise, my youngest daughter goes to a fab nursery in Cobham which is easy to get to from the A3. It is about £48 a day (maybe slightly less, that's a 10hr day so not a bad hourly type rate) so a bit less than for the Guildford nurseries and is amazing, they might be full though (it's Little Acorns if you want to google it but are happy for children to do 1 day a week). I would've thought from New Haw it might be OK, it depends where you join the A3, if it's at Painshill it would be very easy (about 5 mins from there).

Good luck,

Helen xxx

Hi There

Just got back from work, bathed my gorgeous little one and now sitting down to rectify this mess!!

Firstly to let you all know - HE WILL NOT BE GOING BACK THERE!!

I appreciate all your positive thoughts and support,so good to have reassurance that Im not a paranoid mummy!

I have been to see another CM this morning, all positive but just need to query the fees. As for work, I have tried to find a job that he can come with me too, must be registered with 15 agencies in this area!

I would never work in London - last time I did that, I was ill for 6 months and ended up with asthma! Plus the commute onto my day, would be too long, cost too high ect, plus I cant leave my DH to have the responsibility of picking him up every night, so I would never see my DS either.
Helen - thanks for the info, the CM is on the wrong side of Gford for us sadly, have just checked out Little Acorns, shall pop them over an email to see.

OJ - Im sure your probably right but sadly having time off would mean not paying the bills/mortgage, so not going to work!

I have been looking for CMS between me, work and my DHs work, most havent got spaces.After wk one she recommended another CM but shes too expensive.
Again - when I took this job on a few months ago, I could afford the CM on my wage but as they decided only 3 months to reduce my wages and hrs, its made things much tougher!

I shall have no further contact with her, just request that my money is returned in cash by the end of the week.
RE in laws- lol, you would think so but no they are busy people and always on holiday or out for lunch or playing bowls (yawwnn!!)

Mogs - thanks for the positive thoughts re being a CM, even more complicated as I dont have a car at the mo so cant really go out and about either...its a vicious circle. Maybe Im just going to have to make the swtich, after 15 yrs being a nanny its a scary situation and not one I thought I would find myself in!

Enough rambling - its been great company in my DH absence, lol, saves me eating stuff I shouldnt!!

xx

Well done :)

Little Acorns is brilliant :) And if you're in that area, I may have a few cm suggestions for you - but all around £5/hour, though I think (is that the rate you were thinking about?).

I hope she's cooperative about giving you your money back!

Have Doodles II in Keston Road got any spaces, they are fantastic?

God that CM sounded awful and I would phone Ofsted about the carseat, that is totally not on, I wouldn't dream of putting a 2y/o in anything but a 5-point harness and I dread to think about how unsafe it would be

OP Please do ring Ofsted and when you get your money back give her a piece of your mind about car seat.

I was very reluctant to switch from being a nanny to a cm but as soon as the decision was made I knew it was the best option. My ds was just 3 when it all went through and had just started nursery - which is when it gets very complicated being a nanny unless you live and work in the same area. I had a constant supply of children and a couple of great nanny friends who attended the same groups/activities with children of a similar age.

I'm still kicking myself for giving that up and moving closer to my family who I see less now that I live within a 10 mile radius of them all than I did when I was 150 miles away!!

Now that my ds is 8 I have been thinking about looking for a nanny job again but there are very few where I live now and I could earn much more (if I had any children ) by being a cm than being a nanny. The main advantage to being a nanny, for me, is that you only have to deal with one set of parents but if you can get a couple of families who you get along well with then it's not a problem.

I'd gladly talk for hours on the topic of switching from nanny to cm so if you want anymore info send me a message and I'll waffle on for hours!!

I really think you should look into childminding, Funky2sarah.

@Funky2sarah, I wish I were next door to help out. :( What a bummer that you look after others but can't find someone to look after yours!! Hope you find a solution soon. This reminds me of the main reason for working freelance from home. Good luck.