DS @ CM,noticed incorrect car seat

[Funky2sarah]

Hi There

My DS aged 2years goes to a CM once a week for the whole day. Today she picked him up from me, I noticed that when she put him in the car he wasnt in a 5 point car seat with harness, just a seatbelt on a booster. Now I am sure that this isnt SAFE and defo not legal.I let him go with her but kicking myself for not saying something!
How do you approach this?
Also I locked my self out this morning and as I had just dropped daddy of at the station, I didnt have any of my DS stuff with me (coat/nappy bag/snacks etc), was all in the house. Anyway, rang MIL who was en route with key. CM arrived, I apologised and said that I didnt have anything because of my mishap. She just shrugged her shoulders and said oh well, I asked if she had any spare nappies etc, to which she replied no. Anyway I asked her to wait a few mins so that I could get all his bits. She wouldnt!
She didnt say "dont worry i shall sort him some lunch and nappies" was very unhelpful, I realise it wasnt her fault but I kinda expected her to be a bit more understanding and reassuring.
Anyway, off he goes.
A couple of other issues, as with most 2yr olds he has good and bad days with food. I gave her a list of fave`s which inc sarnies, fruit and other picnic bits. She basically demanded after 2 days that I bring my own food for him as he is so fussy!No reduction in fees as food inc, just bring a PL.
Today in the bag, which I dropped round before lunch once in the house was bread sticks,apple,banana,raisins,mini sausages,cucumber,crisps and a fruit pouch. She sent me a text tonight to complain Toby didnt have lunch as I didnt send anything! Whats all of the above if not lunch..does that mean he didnt have anything?!
Last week he had a sore bottom/red raw, so I sudocreamed him up and sent him on his way. Daddy picked him up, I took him upstairs to get ready for bed..guess what his nappy was almost hanging on. There was no sign of fresh cream and he was now bleeding as so sore. It looked very much to me like she hadnt changed his nappy all day and looking in his bag Im sure no nappies were missing. Nothing was mentioned in his book re his bottom etc.
Anyway, sorry for the saga...WWYD
Thanks guys
xx

Hi There

Lynette - No I work 5 days, he isnt allowed with me 2 FD, the rest of the time he is either with me if kids at school or DH or PIL if they are around, all very complicated!! I only got a CM as PIL decided they couldnt do the 1 day a wk.

Would never be a CM couldnt bear all the paperwork and red tape, cant be spontaneous, dont have a big enough car, dont have enough storage for toys etc.
x

Hi

I am in New Haw, DH normally drops me in Ottershaw, then goes to work in G/ford via West Byfleet/Ripley/A3/Burpham. Or drops DS at CM and I walk to work.

How long of a day is it? Could you get a student who babysits? And your mil to check in a few times?

Star - fab ideas and I commend you for helping! The day needs to be 8/8.30-5.30pm, DH would come home early from work, pick up DS then me.

MIL - Again, it would be like I have asked them for £1,000,000 or blood! Not going to happen, trust me, you have no idea how inflexible they are!

I have also contacted an aupair agency to see if anyone wants to earn extra cash but the hrs dont fit if they look after school age kids.

x

Sorry - see that you have work issues but really think you should kick her to the kerb. She sounds awful, very child-unfriendly and, tbh, she doesn't seem to have your DS's best interests at heart.

Find another cm asap - many are willing to take a child for 1 day a week - contact your local authority and ask for a list of registered cm's and check them out.

Sorry but not feeding my DC and not changing him/raw, bleeding bottom would be completely unacceptable and a total contract breaker in my book.

Whereabouts roughly is your c/m just out of interest funky2sarah? It's just that I've a friend in Crawley who had very similar issues with a c/m there and I don't think that's a million miles from you?

have you tried that link on the right for childcare website?

Timba- I agree that she isnt looking after my DS in an acceptable manner.
I have used netmums/childcare.co.uk/gumtree to look for local CM`S and also .GOV, many local are full or unable to do the day I need. And some are out of my price bracket.

I am an hr away from Crawley so dont think its the same one!
x

Without a CM, I break my contract = no job!
So its a no win situation for me. In the current climate I cant afford to loose my job as NWOC is almost impossible to find the right job. Even with 15 yrs exp, NNEB, First Aid, CRB, OFSTED and excellent refs...hmmmmpphhh

I just wish I could demonstrate to my emplyer exactly what Im going through and how much my child is missing out on and the sacrifice Im having to make at the mo!
x

oh gosh. i wish i could help. i'm not even a CM, but if i lived nearer to you i'd volunteer to look after him til you found one!!!

It seems very unfair that you are not allowed to bring your child to work. Would your employer not be interested in it at all?
I thought nannies who brought their own children were cheaper to employ?

The only other thing you could do is get a student to come to your house and look after your child?

awwww thanks thisis!
x

just composing an email to her re the car seat...watch this space!

What's a NWOC? There is no way I would leave my child with such an horrendous childminder whilst I went to look after someone else's child. I think you just need to explain the situation to your employer, and take your child with you until you sort something else out. Your childminder is neglecting your child.

Oh good idea - you could offer to be paid a bit less that day to take ds with you? Just until you find a new cm? Can you not explain this situation to her?

email to CM* THOUGHTS PLS **
Dear XXXX

I felt it is important to touch base as there are a couple of issues that need addressing with T`s care

Car Seat - Today I noticed that you put T into a booster seat with back using the seat belt. We are not happy with this, he is not old enough or neither does he weight enough, generally this seat is for a 4yrs+. He needs to be in a 5 point harness car seat, to stop him slipping under the belt, also I noticed it wasnt on very tight. I appreciate he`s very tall but this is not a risk I feel should be taken.Please advise if you can you provide the correct car seat for next Monday.

Last Week- Please can you let me know how Tobys bottom was last monday when you changed it?

Toby`s lunch was as provided in the bag so - breadsticks,raisins,crisps,fruit pouch,banana,apple,sausages etc- all the picnic bits.

We look forward to hearing from you

nwoc = Nanny with own child

its not the money that`s the problem - she just has issues with him being around too much!!

plus I have just taken a pay cut as she has decided to cut my hrs so couldnt afford to work for any less, really want a FT job not PT.

hmmm, I will talk to her if I get chance but unlikely as I think shes away on conference for a few days. Dont want her to doubt me etc etc!!

You may want to reference the incident with lunch when you write about that bit iyswim. Otherwise it just seems like you're randomly adding in what his lunch was.

Friends nearby you may be able to pay or do reciprocal care for in the interim? All my suggestions are things that would be unavailable to me. Lol

have you looked into tax credits helping pay for some of the nursey fees?

This is going to sound really poor - I dont have any friends that are at home or other family as I`m an only child and DH brother is a workaholic!
I didnt get to meet anyone at ante natal as I had him before we all swapped details ect and I am not a member of NCT.
So no one else springs to mind.
2 other friends are nannys but they also run an agency so dont have time to help!

grrrrrr....

meant to say ditch the cm

I already get TC but the lowest possible amount, so not even enough to cover 1 days fee!!

no government help until Jan 2012 for nursery fees x

email sent......nervously awaits response!