Support thread for those of us who are requesting an ELCS after a previous traumatic delivery

[withorwithoutyou]

Hello everyone.

I have noticed a lot of threads regarding requesting ELCS lately, probably because I am in the process of trying to request one myself!

I just wondered if it might be useful for us to have a support thread where we can talk this all through as I know it can be a challenging process to go through.

Can I please also ask in the nicest possible way that anybody contributing to this thread can respect our desire for ELCS over VB? Thank you!

Anyway, I'll start - I have one DD, born 20 months ago by forceps after failed ventouse. She weighed 9 pounds 11 and I am concerned this one will be heavier! I am 30 weeks and have my first consultants appt tomorrow where I will be requesting an ELCS!

So glad to hear that it all went so well for you Lovethesea, and that there's been no recurrence of your problems. Your experience sounds very similar to mine. It's great that you're able to take it easy and make a good recovery. I'd recommend that you do some gentle walking each day as well, as I found that this really helped me get back to normal. It's very hard to strike the right balance though!

thanks for telling your experience lovethesea its quite reassuring to hear how well it went hope you are all well.

2 weeks and 2 days to go for me (not that I'm counting down or anything )

Oh and for those wondering about breastfeeding post elcs - so far it's been better than after the forceps birth. I fed in recovery and then had colostrum available for the next day or two - but Alexander was a bit mucusy so not too interested in more than the odd feed. He then cleared the mucus out and started feeding with enthusiasm. My milk came in quickly and so far the only issue is sore nipples from his frequent munching.

Lovethesea - that's great about the feeding.

I've just realised you post on another site. I was over there on the ttc boards when trying to conceive DD and also on her birth club board.

Had a brief look at the birth trauma board there today and recognised your story. Hope you don't mind! Haven't read any of your other posts over there.

Hi everyone
I really enjoyed reading Lovetheseas elcs story, here's mine, it was a fairly similar experience to be honest but will probably be a long post so also feel free to skim!

I took anti-sickness/antacid tablets the night before & again at 6am on friday morning then I had to call the hospital to make sure they hadn't been over run with emergency cs & could still fit me in. They told me to arrive at 8am.
When I got there I was shown into a private room (was quite excited until they told me I'd be going back on a ward after surgery as they like to keep a close eye on cs patients!) where lots of people (midwife, registrar, anaesthetist etc) came in, introduced themselves, explained what would happen & that I was 2nd in the queue for my op.Everyone was LOVELY, so nice & reassuring. I was with DH & my parents & we waited for about 3.5 hours before they came to get me, we were all relaxed & laughing & joking up until about 20 minutes before our son was born - quite surreal!
They took me into theatre for the spinal while DH got into his scrubs. The radio was on, everyone was really chatty & talked me through what they were doing every step of the way. The spinal felt just like a normal injection with a bit of pressure really once I'd had the local anaesthetic. They inserted the catheter which by then I couldn't feel at all. Then they brought DH in & put up the screen to block our view of the op. My lovely consultant then came in & said 'Ok, let's get this baby out!' after shaking DH's hand & giving me a reassuring pat on the shoulders. Everyone kept asking if I was ok whilst explaining what was happening, what I would probably be feeling etc - I was surprised at how much I could feel - lots of very physical pushing/pulling etc but no pain whatsoever. Everyone was chatting with us & I can't believe how relaxed I felt.
It was 8 minutes from the first incision to my consultant saying 'Your son's out & he's perfect!' and bringing him straight round the screen for us to see. Wow! He then whisked him off to be cleaned up & DH took some photos & dressed him & brought him over to me while they stitched me up. I can't tell you what a wonderful, calm, peaceful & positive experience the elcs was - it was truly fantastic. We were then all wheeled into recovery where my son bf for ages & we took loads of photos before being transferred to the ward & seeing my parents.
I was completely numb from the chest down for hours (think it worked too well!)then some feeling came back. The nurses were great all night, passing him to me whenver I buzzed & then putting him back again. I had 2 hourly obs checks (blood pressure etc) & that coupled with the really noisy other babies on the ward I didn't get any sleep at all but to be honest I had my son & didn't care! I had a morphine injection before bedtime & regular paracetamol & diclofenac through the night - the pain really was minimal.
My scar is neat & tiny which is great & I only struggle to get up if I've sat down too long or been to sleep - other than that I'm really mobile & pain free.
The catheter being taken out the next day was the worst bit of the whole thing to be honest!
I really had a super positive experience & I hope all of you who have this to come have as good an experience as me - it really was the best decision I could've made.
The only negative thing was my midwife visit yesterday who asked why I had elcs - I said I had placenta previa but also a horrific phobia of VB to which she said 'Cheat. You won't be able to pull that one next time will you?' - yes, I will be putting in a complaint once my mw visits are over. Furious.

Sorry if I've bored anyone - the upshot was - it was a FAB experience!

PS Just for info - I bought a Theraline cs belt thinking I'd be in agony - I really don't need it, I feel fine & will probably be taking it back.

Onebabyplease- what a great story, I'm so pleased it all went so well for you.

I may keep my theraline in the box then, hope I recover as well as you.

I am absolutely shocked at what your midwife said, and angry on your behalf. Just pleased that nobody in hospital said anything as ridiculous as that. Glad you are complaining.

Great to hear the feeding went well in recovery.

I'm so, so pleased for both you and lovethesea.

Onebaby - congratulations! What a fantastic positive story, so pleased for you.

Cant believe the comment your MW made - what a total idiot glad you are complaining.

I am counting down the days now, finding it so difficult to move SPD has got so bad. I just wish I didnt have to take DS to school as the mornings kill me feeling pretty down actually. Hope everyone else doing ok.

Onebaby - so glad it went well. The mw comment is just ridiculous considering she should know the amount that can go wrong with vb and that there are plenty of very good reasons to be phobic of it.

withor - don't mind at all that you spotted the story elsewhere

mookle - so sorry you are suffering so much pain now. I hope the spd just ups and goes the moment that baby is out. Is there anyone who could take your DS to school for you? Other mums who could do a day or two each? Call in any help you can to get you through the last weeks. Is it a walk or a drive? Could you get a cab with him? Soon it'll be out the way and you can start getting better. From the moment you have that elcs you will be on the road heading back to being a healthy you again.

Thanks lovethesea - Its a drive then a walk as we live semi rurally. I got another parent to walk DS up from the car park today its only a 2 min walk and I feel so stupid but its killing me. Had a big break down on the phone to DH this morning as I could hardly move, didnt know how I was going to get dressed and couldnt find anything comfortable/that fits me any way! Just felt so helpless and rubbish! The house is a tip, all the mess is staring at me and I just cant be bothered to clear it up! Blahhh! Sorry for moaning!

Onebabyplease, thankyou for your story. What a ridiculous MW. I can't believe the stuff that comes out of people's mouths sometimes. You should definitely complain. Hope you are enjoying your lo.

Mookle, I really feel for you re the school run. I have finally caved and taken up every offer of help, so dh is going into work early so that he can drop dd1 at preschool, and a couple of the other mums are bringing her home. It is making a huge difference - is there anyone you can ask to take your ds in?

I have a feeling these last couple of weeks are going to feel like forever for us, Mookle, so be kind to yourself. I am trying not to feel too bad about the fact that dds and I aren't dressed yet (no school today) and that the TV has been on all morning. I feel like I am trying to walk in lead shoes at the moment, and can't imagine how difficult it must be for you with SPD.

Please come on here for a whinge, and a virtual hug/cup of tea/slice of cake/large gin.

Thanks hazeyjane - a large gin would be just fantastic right now - or failing that just pop a straw in a box of wine and i'll lie here on the couch with it lol

I got some one to walk ds up to school today so that helped a bit, its just the getting dressed thing. DH cant take DS as he starts work at 7am a 45 minute drive away from home so he'd be losing hours at work to take ds to school then get to work IYSWIM. People have very kindly offered to take DS if im stuck but none of them live near by or even on their way to school if you get what mean, they would have to go really quite far out of their way to get to me and i would still have to get up and dressed to greet them so I may as well just keep on - its just the getting dressed in the mornings is sooo painful/uncomfortable and I have bugger all left that fits me DH said just keep DS at home if its really bad but I will avoid that as long as possible. I think you are right, the last 2 weeks are going to feel like a life time. where is that cake ?? LOL

Got my appointment with the consultant tomorrow. Worrying about what he is going to say. I could hardly talk to the midwife last week. She was really nice though and didn't think it would be a problem but obviously it's not up to her.

She did put in a request to get my birth notes before the meet tomorrow so that i can go over them with the consultant.

Who else is in the room when you see the consultant?

Anyone else had to put up a fight if their last birth was failed venthose/forceps used and large episiotomy?

Am now getting quite worked up as I find it difficult to talk to people in "power" find myself agreeing with them!

Any tips on how to be prepared?

tia

Got my appointment with the consultant tomorrow. Worrying about what he is going to say. I could hardly talk to the midwife last week. She was really nice though and didn't think it would be a problem but obviously it's not up to her.

She did put in a request to get my birth notes before the meet tomorrow so that i can go over them with the consultant.

Who else is in the room when you see the consultant?

Anyone else had to put up a fight if their last birth was failed venthose/forceps used and large episiotomy?

Am now getting quite worked up as I find it difficult to talk to people in "power" find myself agreeing with them!

Any tips on how to be prepared?

tia

MumtoBlaire, when I talked to my consultant, she did put up a fight, but she has a reputation for being very anti elcs.

I got very shaky talking to her, and cried a bit, because I found it very upsetting talking about my worries about the consequences of any further damage, and also because she had informed me pretty bluntly that I would almost definitely need corrective surgery after the birth (which was quite a shock to me). However, I think getting upset sort of helped. I did have to really gather myself and take deep breaths to carry on though.

I had read up on the negatives of c-sections, so that I could be informed, and I didn't want her to think I was taking this decision lightly.

I also printed off something that LovetheSea linked to, a list of reasons for an elcs post 3rd/4th degree tear as recommended by the Royal College of Obstetrics. This was my talisman and made me feel like I was much more informed!

The main thing though, was that when she said to me, 'you won't tear this time.' I saw a bit of red mist, because of course she can't know that, and so I said, 'you can give me no guarantees, that I won't tear, I have had a 3rd degree and 2nd degree tear, both times with episiotomies - what if I have a 4th degree this time - mentally I don't think I can cope with the idea of that happening.' when I said this, she looked at her colleague (she had a jr doctor and a MW in with her) and said, 'I think you had better get the consent form'.

I really hope it goes well for you tomorrow, and you won't have to put up a fight, if you do, then just remember to take deep breathes, and if you have the slightest niggling thought, then say, 'I'm sorry but could we just clarify......'

Imagine us all stood behind you backing you up and supporting you. Good Luck.

Thanks Hazeyjane

Some good points to remember and am feeling a bit more positive this morning.

Surely if I am panicked and worked up about the birth the now then I will only be worse if go into labour. Which means I will not be relaxed or in control so will only hinder labour and make the chance of intervention more probably.

Have made a mental list of physical problems that have resulted from previous birth.

I also have a back problem that I have had for 18yrs and I do feel that this played a huge part in why previous birth was so difficult so going to focus on this as a big concern.

Wish me luck ladies
I will post tonight how I get on

Good luck MumtoBlaire - be as strong as you can be.

Mookle hope yesterday improved for you, and that the school run isn't too grueling this morning. Not long to go now!

Hope LovetheSea and OneBabyplease are settling down nicely with their families.

Thanks hazeyjane - laid out all my clothes last night and got DS to walk up with someone else again so was a bit better - 2 weeks today and it will all be over though! Cannot wait!

How are you feeling withor? its you then me next!!

BTW, what does everyone do re birthplans, with an elcs - I kind of assumed I wouldn't need to do one, but actually, I guess it is important to say about skin to skin etc - what did everyone else do?

I have written in mine, would like skint to skin contact and to attempt breast feeding as soon as possible after birth and preferably within 1 hour at the most.

I have also put in (just in case for some reason I ended up being forced into a VB) that should ELCS not go ahead I do not want any form of induction, forceps or ventouse and also refuse episiotomy. Thats just for my peace of mind though.

Mumtoblaire - I asked for my c-s afer failed ventouse, forceps and episiotomy in last birth and it wasn't difficult at all to get agreement. I went in there with a big list of reasons why I wanted a c-s and all of the issues resulting from my last birth but ultimately it never really came to that. My consultant was pretty agreeable (I sense that he is rather pro c-s going by some of his comments).

Mookle - I know, can't believe I'm next. Tbh the birth is right out of my mind at the moment as I'm focusing all of my efforts on trying to get through this week and next with DD without sitting her in front of cbeebies! I think I might start to panic about early labour once I'm 38 weeks but at the moment I'm totally in denial.

I'm finding it really hard to balance feeling like I need to be doing plenty with DD and feeling like I need to rest. I've been trying to get out to groups and activities with her in the morning so we can have relaxing afternoons. It's hard though as she naps very erratically so I never know if I'm going to have a proper rest or not or how long for.

Good preparation for a newborn though!

ok, need your thoughts on this please. I'm now 8 weeks and have spoken to the midwife on the phone who took my particulars and booked me into the maternity ward. i have my booking in appointment with her in a couple of weeks.

Today i received a letter from the obstetrics clinic to ask me to make an app with them. i thought this was to arrange the 12 week scan but apparently i'm automatically going to have hospital/consultant based car rather than gp/midwife care because of my difficult delivery last time.

I have an app with the consultant in august. On the one hand i'm really pleased because i was dreading being told that i couldn't see a consultant and so i feel as though they are acknowledging that the previous birth went wrong.

Does this mean it will be easier for me to request an elcs? I mean if they're acknowledging that my 1st birth was traumatic then it should be easier to get one shouldn't it?

Does anyone have experience of this? I'm a bit shocked actually! I was expecting to have to fight to even see a consultant!

Oh i just thought, i'm 35, do they want me to see a consultant just because of my age?

Hi Nanbullen,

I was automatically referred for consultant led care too and the reason given on my notes was previous forceps delivery and macrosomic (big) baby.

I've just re-read your birth story and I'd imagine it's the combination of ventouse, retained placenta and PPH that means you've been referred. I don't know if your age would make a differenece, although if it did I would imagine only if you were over 35 and not 35?

It's great you've got an appt through so soon, and certainly an acknowledgement of you not having a straightforward birth last time.

thanks withorwithoutyou. I know i'm not going to get offered an elcs on a plate (I wish!) but i do feel better knowing that i'll be seeing someone who can actually decide whether i have one or not.