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Childbirth

who's contemplating a home birth - want to discuss it?

352 replies

elliott · 23/06/2003 11:59

Hi there
Noticed that quite a few of us who are now pregnant are planning or thinking about home birth - katherine, motherinferior, princesspeahead, www etc. I'm just 17 weeks now and very undecided about what to do, so would welcome hearing other's thoughts and views. What has motivated your choice? What are your greatest worries/fears/hopes? What is the deal in your area re midwife care - do you feel confident in your midwives? Lots of other thoughts but that should do for now...

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Rhubarb · 25/06/2003 09:55

Well done Motherinferior! I just can't believe that anyone could post on Mumsnet whilst in the throes of labour! I doubt I could even string a coherent sentence together! I just hope my home-birth goes as well as some of those posted on here.

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elliott · 25/06/2003 13:14

congratulations motherinferior!! - hope to hear more once you come down off the ceiling. Got the thread started in the nick of time

p.s. the last bit of your first stage labour sounds rather like mine - I was also 8 hours from waters breaking (at 1-2 cm) but had a good 20 hours 'prelabour' before that - makes me a little worried about what may be in store for the second....

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buzzybee · 26/06/2003 00:51

Just wanted to say that I had a homebirth for my first baby (at the suggestion of local team of 6-8 community midwives) and it was fab. Also I didn't decide for sure until 2 days before she came! Homebirth pack literally delivered to my flat the day before. And although it was a small London flat I didn't even think about the neighbours...

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Rhubarb · 26/06/2003 14:52

I'm just wondering if there is anything anyone regrets about home-birth? Are there any downsides at all? What would you change about it? I'm planning to have a home-birth in December after a previous birth in hospital under an epidural. So I want to be fully prepared, which means knowing the downsides as well as the advantages.

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bubbly · 26/06/2003 22:05

Rhubarb the only regret I have is that I didnt have my first baby at home too. Otherwise I cant think of any downsides tha I remember but then mercifully I had no complications.

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Pimpernel · 27/06/2003 09:14

Rhubarb - I had my first baby at home and have no regrets at all. I've got a short list of things that I'll do differently 'next time', but they're all practical things. The main thing I'll do differently is to have sorted our bathroom window out - it's very draughty, and it felt like there was a gale blowing through it when I gave birth in November (didn't give birth in the bathroom, but needed to use it relatively frequently).

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Gem13 · 27/06/2003 09:25

Rhubarb - I didn't have a homebirth but did go to a midwife led unit which offers a homebirth (i.e. no epidurals, C sections, etc.) and one of the downsides I can think of is the transfer by ambulance.

Those in favour of homebirths (of which I am one, don't get me wrong) says 'Oh the hospital is only 6 miles away/ 10 minutes, etc.' but it is no fun being in the advanced stages of labour in an ambulance. I really did think it was the end! I took in so much gas and air I kept losing consciousness and thought it took 1/2 hour and was miles when in fact it was 15 minutes and 8 (?) miles. The ambulance driver drove really carefully and was avoiding all the bumps in the road but I though we were driving along potholed lanes. It was no fun for poor DH either who was following and waiting for the blue lights to go on.

I must stress this was 4 hours into the second stage. I don't want to scare anyone but those considering a homebirth should bear in mind that it is not a pleasant journey!

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WideWebWitch · 27/06/2003 15:11

Just a quick question: I saw someone on the pregnant roll call thread say she wasn't allowed a home birth as it was her first and she is 5'1 and her dh is over 6 foot. I know it's not a case of 'allowed' but that's not my point here. Should I be worried? Dp is 6'4 and I'm 5'3 although he was only 7lb something as a baby and I was 6lb or something. I had a home birth last time but the father was ex dh, who was 5lb something at birth and only 5'11. Anyone know whether dp's height is likely to make it a problem? Or is this a load of old cobblers?

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Oakmaiden · 27/06/2003 15:30

Very unlikely to be a problem, www. Women usually have babies to suit their build.

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motherinferior · 29/06/2003 20:38

Hi everyone - just to say will post gory birth details, conclusions etc in next few days - but it really was doable. Really. And worth it. MIxxx

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CAM · 30/06/2003 10:12

Just to answer your question www I think its a load of old ..... as my dh is 6'7 and our dd was 6lb 13

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WideWebWitch · 30/06/2003 10:14

Cam and Oakmaiden, thank you, thank you for the reassurance

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princesspeahead · 30/06/2003 10:40

Hello motherinferior - put that baby down and give us the gory details! We can hardly wait...


www, I think that sounds like another "what can I tell this woman to avoid having to deal with a home birth" excuse. I agree with Oakmaiden - and particularly as you've had one baby before which you gave birth to with no problem so you know you haven't got a particularly tiny or strangely shaped pelvis.
Mind you the second one is likely to be bigger - my first was 7lb7 and my second 9lb5 - the second was much easier to deliver (no pushing!) despite his size and I'm only 5'6" (ok, Ok, 5' 51/2"!). Dh is 6'3".

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CAM · 30/06/2003 11:04

coo, haven't we got some tall dh/dp's ?

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princesspeahead · 30/06/2003 11:06

my dh's father phoned me when I was a week overdue with ds, and said "have I ever told you that I was an 11 lb baby"? I said "no - and I rather wish you hadn't chosen to tell me that now!" He said "I just thought you should know...."

so I have that ringing at the back of my mind while I get more and more enormous with this pregnancy (and which I know is a boy)...

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motherinferior · 30/06/2003 13:23

OK - dd2 sleeping, dd1 out with childminder (we're so knackered we thought it was a good idea!) dp cooking lunch...the gories. I'll give the account first, conclusions later.

As noted below, waters broke completely without warning at about 2pm - I was on the phone to a friend - sudden pop and flood. I phoned the hospital to contact the community team but got a drongo who tried to insist that as I wasn't contracting yet I should go in. I resisted - and found out subsequently she was completely out of order for doing this (she also tried to claim no-one from my particular team was on call that afternoon). By the time she called back to say someone would be coming round I was contracting slightly anyway. Rang dp and got him home too.

Midwives arrived - one newishly qualified but quite lovely, another I'd met once before, who'd delivered 2 babies of a friend, and who was completely wonderful and I'd secretly been hoping for anyway. They checked me and said to ring when the contractions got more regular and heavier - or if I was worried anyway. I was dreading another looooong labour, as you know, but we rang them back at about 7pm, by which time everything was getting significantly more painful. I tried various positions, but tbh the only thing that really made a difference was a hot-water-bottle wedged into the small of my back (which was hurting like f*ck with every contraction). They got here at 7.30ish, and were fab at talking me through and calming me down; I asked for gas and air and I think that made a difference too, not least because it meant I had to take deep deep breaths each time. Told me I was 5cm (hurrah!) and that dp should start filling the birth pool which was by this time inflated and standing rather bizarrely in the middle of our book-lined front room.

Things escalated from there and, quite honestly, I seriously wondered if I'd make it. I was thinking 'this is 5cm, what the hell will it be like at 10 cm?'. It was only the thought that the water HAD to make a difference that really kept me from saying HOSPITAL NOW!!! I also started squirming around trying not to push (or rather trying not to crap on the sofa), despite the midwife shouting 'no, focus, come on, don't'. They checked me again at 8.30 - 8cm - my god - and told me to get in the pool if I wanted any use out of it; I staggered across, onto dd1's little stool (thank you whoever suggested that on mumsnet as a pool accessory!) and into the water; brief pause; hell of a contraction; 'Don't push!'; reached down and shouted, idiotically, 'something's coming' (I honestly thought I was doing the world's most massive crap); they wedged the stool under me so I was pushing down onto it; one push; another with the head coming out; a third and the whole baby shot into the water. And there I was, up to my tits in water in my front room, having given birth.

I delivered the placenta with injection, in the end, as I couldn't push it out and honestly wasn't bothered. I also have a nasty tear, second-degree, into muscle. But staggering upstairs, and then into bed (and then into the bath when dp pointed out I was absolutely filthy and smelly), was amazing. Quite amazing.

Conclusions? Good midwives make all the difference. So does a hot water bottle. And I think a pool is really worth investing in - I was in it for EIGHT MINUTES, total, but my god what eight minutes they were. And a relatively short labour, for me, made it much more endurable. But I am so, so glad I did it; and so, in the end, is dp.

Lunch is ready, so must go and eat, but hope this story's worth reading!

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princesspeahead · 30/06/2003 13:54

what an amazing story! as a matter of interest, why didn't you get into the pool a bit earlier if you were quite dilated and in a bit of pain? was it because it was still filling up? sounds like i should get dh to fill the pool up as soon as I think I'm in labour proper I guess
really sorry about the tear which must be very painful, but glad everything else went well, if a bit fast! and the climbing into your own bed afterwards bit is the bit I'm looking forward to the most, I must say

thanks so much for posting, enjoy your lunch and then go and have a sleep while you have the chance!

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WideWebWitch · 30/06/2003 13:57

Thanks motherinferior, it most certainly was worth reading. So the really, really painful bit was only (ONLY! I know) 1.5 hours then? Or was it eight minutes? (she asked in a hopeful kind of way...) Interesting to hear the pool made such a difference and I wouldn't have thought of a hot water bottle, so I must buy one. I'm glad your dp thought it was great in the end too. It's just as well you didn't listen to drongo who told you to come in either. Thanks for this, it's really helpful and brought tears to my eyes.

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motherinferior · 30/06/2003 16:03

Why didn't I get into the pool earlier? Mainly because it was filling - or rather finishing filling; also because (pupuce is very good on this) pools (are supposed to) accelerate labour for an hour or so, and then slow it down. So it's best to wait till you're 5cm or so before getting in.

Pain - well, I'm afraid I'd say I was in quite a bit of pain from 5ish onwards: I was barking at dp 'time this' from then on.

I was very glad I'd remembered reading about a hot water bottle, and got a rather grumpy dp to find it the previous evening. But what really made the difference was midwives I trusted, completely, to take some charge and at the same time make me take charge of my contractions - funnily enough, although I'm the world's most noisy person usually I didn't scream, because that for me would have meant going to pieces and panicking. It very much brought home to me the difference between a very medical approach - this is pain, relieve it asap - and a midwives' one of this is pain, deal with it.

Having said all that, I don't feel that I should have had dd1 at home. That labour was horrible. I do feel that this experience has made me feel a lot better about dd1's birth, though.

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Rhubarb · 30/06/2003 16:32

Ooooh, now I'm scared of the pain! I don't like pain much! Can I just ask if a bath will work just the same as a birthing pool?

I'm having a hard time at the mo because my consultant at the hospital is insisting I go in and see him. They booked me in to see him and have my 20 week scan on dd's birthday, for which I had arranged a coffee group in the morning as something for her to look forward to. I phoned the hospital to ask if I could change the appointment, and explained why. But apparently this consultant only works Thursday mornings, and I can't change it to the week before as he's booked up, and the scan people are not happy to scan me the week after. So dd's birthday morning will now be spent in the hospital and I will have to cancel my coffee group for her. Also a midwife told me on the phone to bring support, when I mentioned I didn't have any, she said to be assertive then not let him get to me. So to top it all off, it seems that I have to justify my decisions to a jumped-up male consultant! Aaarrggh!

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motherinferior · 30/06/2003 19:25

I've been told that the all-round support a pool gives you is much better - but I do know people who've opted for the bath as well.

I am unbelievably wimpy with pain, believe me.

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pupuce · 01/07/2003 20:30

Motherinferior what a story !!!!
I am not surprised at all by how quick things happened and it is very common to go from 3 to 10 cm in a few minutes or just 2 hours when it is your 2nd baby.... the last birth I attended as a doula was a VBAC and she was told "3cm" she could have cried (actually she did!!!) - this is when good MW or good doula are worth every penny as I gave her a good pet talk... and she was back on track she delivered 2 hours later.

You are SOOOO right about the quality of support and MW make all the difference - unfortunately some are either not up to speed with evidence-based midwifery, too scared (of many things including boss), too busy (or not bothered) to treat every birth as a significant event in a woman's life...

As for pool versus bath - sorry Rhubarb not the same but bath better than nothing of course.

As for when to get in.... it is "better" to get in past 5cm for a 1st time labour as it can slow down things if you are not in establisehd labour but a 2nd time mum who is having strong contractions could go in earlier as her body won't backtrack IYKWIM.... With DD I went in when I was in transition some urge to push but not like motherinferior .... then again unlike you I had to still push for 30 minutes

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Rhubarb · 02/07/2003 15:01

I've been told my by MW that the only risks to home births are haemorraging and a risk to the baby if it starts getting distressed, because of the time it would take getting to the hospital.

Has anyone had any experience of either of these risks? I know they are unlikely, but they do seem pretty big risks to me! So I just need a bit of reasurrance that this is VERY unlikely to happen, and that if it does, it doesn't mean certain death for either of us!

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pupuce · 02/07/2003 19:20

The first thing I would say is that MW are always next to you during a home birth - that is not the case in hospital so the HB ones constantly supervise your labour.... there are signs that things are not going to plan and MW will not take risks. A colleague doula was at a HB and the mum did heamorrage.... she went to hospital 1h30 later - all was fine.
The MW also have things for distressed babies - bear in mind that some distressed baby EVEN in hospital do not make it (I know a recent example.... it didn't matter that all the staff was there and available)....

If you are too scared than don't do it - One of the reasons HB are as safe as hospital is because the women who opt for HB are confident about their choices.... that's half the battle ! I am also working for a mum who'se first baby nearly died because of a hospital bug too.... nothing is 100% safe.

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Rhubarb · 02/07/2003 21:43

Pupuce - can't you be my doula!!!!!

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