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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

The pressure in my bottom and vagina is unreal...!!!

466 replies

princessmel · 10/10/2009 18:45

Baby is moving loads and sometimes the pressure feels so strong that I can imagine the baby falling out!!!

Am having tightenings too. Prob just bh though.

Dh just gone to inlaws with dc's for a family get together. I couldn't face it. The getting ready and smalltalk...

OP posts:
Hollyoaks · 13/10/2009 20:50

Good luck, I've been watching this thread for a while now, where's this baby?

WartoScreamo · 14/10/2009 10:05

Any news this morning?

princessmel · 14/10/2009 10:14

No news!
Had a terrible nights sleep though. Couldn't get to sleep for ages as felt very uncomfortable down below. Baby was really, really wriggly and moving so, so low down.
Then what with all the weeing and a few episodes of cramps in my leg it wasn't fab!

I have asked dh to get some make up bits I need today as I am looking rough. Pale and minging.

OP posts:
IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 14/10/2009 10:14
WartoScreamo · 14/10/2009 11:57

Poor you! Shall we think of some really good jokes to make you laugh a lot and shake the baby out?

moodlumthehoodlum · 14/10/2009 11:58

ooh every time I see this thread title in active convos I get excited. Start painting a room or something?

WartoScreamo · 14/10/2009 12:01

When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.

WartoScreamo · 14/10/2009 12:02

I dedicate this one to Shiney!

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it?s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him?they kiss?then they rip each other?s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, ?Well, how?d I do?? The woman says, ?You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.?

Cadelaide · 14/10/2009 13:26
Grin
FABIsInTraining · 14/10/2009 13:29

Come on BabyMel!!

Book a pamper session, that will bring the baby on!!!

squashimodo · 14/10/2009 13:40

Am stalking taking an interest in Princessmel's progress. I hope it is today Mel!
And hahaha at teddybear rated performance!

CantThinkofFunnyName · 14/10/2009 13:55

at Wart's jokes - great idea!!!

How are you doing Mel? Don't get too disheartened my dear, we're all here with you as pseudo birth partners and loving every minute of it!!!

MmeGoblindt · 14/10/2009 18:18

lol at the teddy bear joke

How are you doing Mel?

largeginandtonic · 14/10/2009 18:47

at Teddy joke.

Laugh that baby out Mel. You must be so hacked off with it all.

The end is in sight though, all the niggles are doing somthing

Keep positive and plan some lovely day's out like has been suggested. Hair appointments always work!

princessmel · 14/10/2009 20:13

Evening all!! I love the jokes! And it's great that you are all bothered about babyMel

I am on my sofa, as usual, with a huge pregnant tummy. The receptionist lady at the dc's swimming lesson looked at me and said 'you are HUGE'.

I thought, 'I know'!!!!!

Have felt very slow today, whilst walking on the school run etc and felt definatly odd during dinner, but I had a bath and now feel a bit more normal.

Updates are only some more jelly stuff and the bh. That's it. Not very exciting eh?! I am 39 weeks today and it's almost a whole week since I went to the hosp last thursday and was told my waters were bulgy...how the hell is the sac still intact with the weight of this baby pushing down on it!!!?

I am trying a new frame of mind. Ignore all tightenings and twinges and just think it's not happening. When the head starts to emerge then I'll change my mind.

OP posts:
princessmel · 14/10/2009 20:17

Actually talking about planning stuff, it's dd's harvest festival tomorrow and if baby comes over night, dh and I will miss it I will be really gutted actually as it's her first assembly thing she'll have done in the school hall.
Ds's is on friday and I could miss that too. I would be glad the baby is here, but feel very sad about missing their performances.

Oh and my girlfriends are coming here tomorrow evening for pizza and a gossip.
Maybe the baby will come and force them to decamp to another house.

OP posts:
largeginandtonic · 14/10/2009 20:19

They can catch the baby in between pizza bites

Legs crossed tonight then. Sure that DD will be thrilled with a baby instead of you in assembly

princessmel · 14/10/2009 20:34

hehe! I always joke that it would be really funny if it all happened when my friends were here.

Whoever comes to babysit the children (my parents or sister) will watch dd in her assembly so she wont be without an audience. I just will be sad to miss it!!

But who am I kidding, baby is NOT coming...

OP posts:
WartoScreamo · 14/10/2009 20:34

That kind of "really need to be there" appointment is just what you need! My dh had tickets to go and see one of his favourite bands (not sure waht he was thinking of as it was 10 days past my due date )

Shall find some more jokes?

princessmel · 14/10/2009 20:35

oooh yes please, when I laugh my whole tummy wobbles! It's funny. I was laughing at dh so much the other day and it hurt a bit!!!

OP posts:
WartoScreamo · 14/10/2009 20:41

When choosing a name for your baby, go to the back door and shout it out a few times.

JustBeBuffy · 14/10/2009 20:43

ok,
why did the trampoline go to the doctor?
cos it had lost it's spring....

courtesy of ds1 (3.5)

WartoScreamo · 14/10/2009 20:46

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push??" "No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost??"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the right thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push??" And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?" And the stranger replies, "I'm over here, on your swing.

RubyBooBerry · 14/10/2009 20:46

A wife helps her husband set up laptop.
For a password, the husband types in MYPENIS.
The wife falls of her chair laughing when laptop replies PASSWORD REJECTED NOT LONG ENOUGH

ronshar · 14/10/2009 22:44

Nearly made me wet my pants never mind babymel

How funny if you have baby mel in the school hall in the middle of harvest. That will upset the competitive mothers in the front row

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