After DH left, I felt completely abandoned on the Maternity Ward

[morningpaper]

After giving birth to dd, and after DH left, I felt completely abandoned on the Maternity Ward - because of the timing and length of labour neither of us had slept for three days, and he needed to go home for sleep. But I was hysterical from the moment the door banged on his departure until six hours later, when the Sister rang home and asked him to return. I found the Maternity Ward hellish and I hated it.

I am planning a hospital birth this time and I don't know how to deal with this aspect of things. I'd welcome advice and whether anyone else felt this way.

Private room, private room, private room. Don't I wish!

I also hated my stay in hospital with my ds.I just didnt know what to do with him,i didnt even know how to change his nappy!The midwives werent very helpful and when i did ask for help it felt like i was being a hinderance.It was my mum who changed my poor ds's nappy after he'd been in it most of the day!When my partner went home i cried and cried,i just felt so alone.No one else in the ward spoke,they just kept their curtains round them.I desperately wanted to go home the same day but because my ds had a heart murmur i had to stay and have him checked over again the next day.Next time im really considering a home birth,i dont think i can face it in there again and i dont like the thought of being away from my ds and partner again.

I can honestly say I've enjoyed each of my 3 stays and can agree with the few people who think back on them as mini holidays. My first I was in for 5 days, my second for 6 days and my last for 4 days. The only down side to staying was that everyone else was in and out so there was no time to forge friendships (with the exception of my first stay.)

I can't recall any negatives about any of it really - the food wasn't up to much but DH was bringing bits in so it didn't matter. I'd happily go back tomorrow if I could.

bev like you I loved the few days in hospital after each of my bebies

I don't know if this is just my hospital (Vancouver, nothing posh), but every woman has a single room, with a fold-down bed for the dads. The midwives check your BP every half hour for 6 hours (12 for CS) then they only bother you if you call, if your light is on, or if no-one has seen you for 5 hours (I think).

That way, DH and I muddled through with DS, but we were reassured that the nurses were there if we needed them ('my baby is pissing out the side of his nappy, what do I do?' reply: 'that's boys for you!' LOL)

We even had a "do not disturb, Family time" thing for the door!

Having read these NHS lack of privacy, filthy toilets horror stories, it's really put me off having any more kids. And spawning another DS, but that's another story

with dd1 i stayed in the hospital over night even though they wanted me to stay 3 days ( also due to some problems with staff but won't go into it). when i had dd2 they wanted to keep me and baby in as they wanted to keep an eye on her due to swallowing meconium, but i stuck to my guns and told em that if i thought there was anything wrong with her i would go straight back in. this time i have had it written on my notes that i want to be discharged from the delivery room so i don't have to go on the ward, that is ofcourse if everything goes well and baby is fine. i was talked out of home birth this time as dd2 got her shoulders stuck, wish they'd make their minds up how severe it was my regular mw said it was serious and the midwife i saw yesturday made out it wasn't that serious as they only used the mcroberts manouvre. looks like this will be another big baby tho so i have agreed to hospital birth this time and will have home birth next time all being well.