Giving Birth

[Lumpy]

I am due my baby 2 weeks on saturday and have started to feel a bit nervous about labour (as Im a bit of a wimp when it comes to pain) - does anyone have any advice re pain relief/best positions for childbirth - I was ok until I started reading the baby books - agghhh...HELP.

Have you done any breathing classes or Yoga? I found that I could almost self-hypnotise with the very deep breathing. Other suggestions, move about alot, keep moving until you find a postition that's comfy, use water, whether a pool or very deep bath, turn off the lights, light a candle and float around. And if none of this works, ask for pain relief from your midwife, there are no medals for suffering! My baby (no.2) is also due in 2 weeks, and I feel just as apprehensive as last time!

emma
i am on my 3rd baby and i was just wonding if any knows if its more painfull on your 3rd baby as people have told me its harder and longer
thanks

Lumpy, keep mobile! Massage helped me a lot.
My lasting tip to anyone taking gas is not to grit your teeth on the mouthpiece - it took weeks for my jaw to unlock!

Good luck

to anyone with backache for
months i had backache with my 2nd baby and to help me with the pain was a good hard pillow or when you are at home you can get someone to rub there hands together till they are hot and gentle rub your back,it worked for me and very relaxing

Thanks for all the tips ... wish it would hurry up ...! Emmagee - all the best with Number 2...hope all goes well...

Lumpy,

As already said, keep moving, and do the breathing - it really helps to have something to focus on. Remember to try and relax (odd idea I know!) - my husband was really good at talking me through "relax your shoulders, relax your body" etc - I found that if I was tense the pain of each contraction lasted longer. I also used a TENS machine during both my labours - I don't know if it really makes any difference to the pain, but like the breathing it really helps having something else to think about (i.e. turning on the boost button), and I found it very helpful. I tried water but didn't like it - I found it slowed my contractions right down, and the last thing I wanted was for labour to last any longer than it had too! And don't forget to have some food in your labour bag - I was so ravenous after my first was born that I scoffed a whole packet of chocolate biscuits straight down (the pieces of toast offered on the labour ward were not definitely not enough!).

Emmagee - good luck with number two. I was very apprehensive too, but actually found it all quite a bit easier because I knew what to expect. Don't make my mistake though - I hung on so long before asking for any pain relief (I kept thinking that I didn't want to use up my options too soon when I knew it was going to get much more painful!) that in the end I suddenly found that I needed to push and I hadn't had anything. I went through all that pain when I could have had some help - however it did mean that I had a lovely time with my brand new daughter because neither of us was woozy with drugs or hooked up to any machines.

Paige, what I found with my third baby was that the stage 1 of labour was a lot longer. It started, went on for about 6 hours, stopped, started again the following evening. I then went into the hospital and the baby was born around 5 hours later. I only had to push through 3 contractions! Apparently this is quite a typical tale for 3rd, 4th etc labour, ie stage 1 can start and stop, but the last bit is much quicker. I also recovered much faster than I had done with the previous births. Good luck!

I used gas, essential oils massaged into my back (check which ones can be used first), birthing pool (which was lovely but did relax me too much and had to get out). My mum also borrowed a machine from the hospital she works at that I was able to put lavender in which spread around the room. I also had soothing music playing, the one I had been playing through my pregnancy. My husband was the best though (my sister also attended) who gave all the support I needed at all the right times, he in fact delivered our son. If your midwife can stay with you for the duration (mine did) helped. Good luck it only lasts a while and you have a lovely baby at the end of it and a great sense of pride takes over and all the pain is forgotten.

Lumpy - don't wish it would hurry up - you might be late. It sounds corny but make the most of your time before baby as your life will really never be the same again. Lots of relaxing baths, read books and just time to yourself.

As for the labour - no point in worrying as it is difficult to know what to expect. If you are fit and healthy you should have no problems. I found that the breathing did actually help, ie long breaths outwards. Also keep mobile for as long as possible, walk around the room and keep distracted as this feels much more comfortable.

good luck

I had a very good 2nd labour, and I think it was due to being more relaxed and the breathing that I had practised. I didn't know what to do with the first one and found the labour hard but no more painful than the 2nd. Try to practise breathing like this; breathe in and let you tummy out and breathe out and pull your tummy in. sounds wierd but it gives you something to focus on and I think is called belly breathing. My husband , who plays the trumpet says that is how you need to breathe to get maximum breath control. The tens machine is definately worth a go, you can hire them from Boots very easily. This gave me another point of focus apart from the pain the boost button really helped! Also just remember that the pain is for a good cause, someone told me that before the birth of my first child and it helped, and as soon as the baby comes and all dignity is lost, the next chapter of your life begins.....

Sorry lumpy, I meant to say good luck aswell, I got quite carried away there for a minute! Hope all goes well.

Hi Lumpy
Good luck first of all. If you haven't had the chance to get to any hospital or NCT classes, try and make an appointment to see one of the midwives at the hospital where you are going to give birth. It would really be worth having a chat with her about pain relief options, positions etc. For some reason breathing is really important. It seems to be something you really have to concentrate on during contractions. Different things work for different people but being in water - bath or birthing pool can be very relaxing. Check out some of birthing websites too. Have a look at the Active Birth Centre - they have lots of helpful tips.

Paige, like SML I found no 3 was a bit stop/start to begin with but once I got to 6cm I was away, she gave me some meptid thinking it would be hours yet and I think I started pushing almost immediatley with the m/w saying "no youre not ready" and me saying "yes I am!" and suddenly there was a head hanging out!! My community m/w did say third and subsequent babies are slightly worse than second, -my second was a doddle.
Lumpy,hope it all goes well, you may think you can't cope with it but that is what epidurals are for!!You will cope amazingly enough- I am the worlds worst wimp ever and I keep putting myself through it! And my God its all worth it when you see your baby, its the most amazing moment of your life. Oh and if you give birth on all fours rather than lying down it helps, cos of gravity, and may help with not tearing.(it did me anyway!)Oh Im coming over all broody....... let us know how it goes!

Move about as much as you can, even when your waters go as gravity then gets chance to get things moving. Breathe, gas and air and make sure they have enough of it left, it ran out in the final stages of having my daughter, and I nearly broke the midwifes wrist!. If this is your first baby, then you could be late, in which case, the delightful Prosteglandin Gel, yippeee. I had a long labour with my eldest nearly 23 hours, but the second was just over 6, drink plenty of water as you can get very dehydrated. I had my second lying on my side with my feet hanging slightly down and it was comfortable for me, but saying that our first was born when I was on all fours and it was comfy as well but wasn't the second time round. Good luck, it may be painful at the time, but it is an experience x 2 I have never forgotten.

Lumpy
I found it helpful to know that the uterus is the strongest muscle in the body, and the only one that doesn't revert to its previous shape when it relaxes. This means that every contraction is a step forward, with NO steps back. Every contraction takes you a bit nearer the goal of a muscle thinned and stretched round the base (round the cervix), and bunched up and pushing at the top. It's quite easy to visualise this as it's happening and I found it helpful.
The other useful tip I picked up was that the pelvis is at its widest when you are kneeling up, facing backwards (holding on to the bedhead)- this gives you an extra couple of millimetres at the crucial moment. You don't need to do it all through labour, but my 'blocked' no 3 baby came shooting out like a champagne cork when I eventually remembered this!

Having said all this, I remember distinctly with number 1 deciding that this was a really stupid way to give birth, and whoever invented it was an idiot!

Gas and air is fun - I wish they had it at parties.

Best of luck - and don't feel worried about asking for pain relief if you need it - only you can tell what you feel like. I've never met anybody who argued for natural tooth-pulling the way they argue for natural birth.

I absolutely agree that gas and air could make an excellent recreational drug! Seriously tho' - good luck to Paige and Lumpy - my second labour was a fantastic experience due to my spending most of it in the pool - I got out once I wanted gas and air as I was scared of drowning! I'd seriously recommend using the pool for the first stages -it is soooo relaxing and you can have the radio or a tape on; your partner can even get in with you in some hospitals if he promises to keep his trunks on!

Reading the books is about the worst thing you can do I think! Mine's one and I'm not pregnant again, but found myself reading something which I won't quote to you (!) and wondered why I had ever read them in the first place - just to let my partner know that actually it IS painful, I think ...!

Do practice the breathing - I didn't - you kind of think you can breath as you've been doing it all your life - and I really think it might have helped a lot. I loved being in water - and I kind of thought I would because I've always been comfy in water. Think about what you like - if candles and soft music make you feel good - go for that. If warm water feels nice - get in a bath - an ordinary bath is fine it doesn't have to be a birthing pool. (It was so good for me (and had been for several friends) it was a horrible shock when I got out!).

I really regret that there was no-one about for most of my labour (the midwives were a bit busy!) - I really think a calm professional hand helping me with the breathing and a bit of massage would have helped a lot. There's nothing I could have done about it at that stage, but if it's not too late now, it is possible to have an arranged one-to-one, called dominoes, rather than leaving it to chance at the hospital. - Call your community midwives (they're lovely) and will be based in one of the hospitals that serves your area.

And so finally, somewhat on my own and sweating profusely (apparently) I was given an epidural - not what I'd envisaged, but I was in such a state they gave me enough that I really didn't feel a thing. My only warning is that it did upset me emotionally because suddenly I felt I was no longer a part of the process - just lying about waiting (after NINE months of expectation that was pretty devastating (but I was very very tired - a long labour!)). But warnings are silly - you'll be making the decision quite quickly and if you need it, it's great. It doesn't drug the baby and if the hospital is good they'll do it well. 'Mobile epidurals' are now the thing, which is a lesser dose, allows you to move around, and you're not strapped to a machine. I was strapped to a monitor anyway and couldn't walk afterwards - but actually that was the least of my worries. (Tearing was one of my greatest fears - just do exactly what your midwife tells you come the pushing stage and you'll be fine - tearing happens when the tissues aren't stretched enough so wait and breathe through a contraction if told to!).

And incidentally a friend of mine who is tiny, was sick with fear through her pregnancy gave birth to her first child in six hours without a drop of pain relief. You never know. And it is a wonderful time, whatever happens. That may sound odd, but it really is. Aim for excited rather than fearful! I think the worst thing in some ways is not knowing what will happen - so give in to that, go with the flow and you'll be fine. With all these people wishing you well, you'll SAAAAAAILLL! Best of good luck to you. And then welcome to motherhood! [And I'm with Eulalia on the doing your thing now - people tell you your life will change but it's really hard to envisage just how much it changes - lack of time and lack of sleep are the two biggies - so if either are important to you - take stock now! Just imagine having a little being with you all the time and you might get the picture. (It just gets easier and easier though and more and more delightful and fantastic)].

PS - re the "think about what you like" bit - the best pain relief I had (which was at the worst point of the labour for me) was my partner kissing me very gently. I have a great belief in his strength, and it really helped. This may not be true for you, but think of the things that ARE good for you.
PPS - TENS nor gas worked for me - everyone is different - so be prepared for whatever.
PPPS If you've only started to get apprehensive now - deep down you're probably not as much of a whimp as you think. So when it comes to it (and it's NOT A TEST!!) - you might be stronger than you expect. And actually everyone comes through one way or another - so will you.
PPPPS - Sorry this is Sooo long!

I love all these messages on this subject. I think it's something we all care about a great deal.

All the best again - .

I had intended to have as natural a birth as I possibly could. I didn't find the books too bad. However what scared me was watching a video of a woman in labour with her second child shown by my parentcraft midwife at a parenting course. This really freaked me out and I was left very frightened and nervous. I actually went overdue and had to be induced. My midwife told me that she thought I had a high pain threshold, but to be honest I was so frightened after watching the video that I opted for an epidural early on. My labour lasted 10 hours but for most of it I chatted quitely with my husband or lay back reading my magazine. The birth was fine. I was tired afterwards but it was nothing like I imagined. In fact I would easily do it again, and I really felt that the epidural allowed me to enjoy it. Don't feel that by opting for pain relief that you are a failure. I really felt that the midwifes were quite reluctant to offer epidurals for whatever reasons and I would suspect that costs is one but I would highly recommend one. It took the fear out of my labour and I had a lovely little girl at the end. I was not woozy or sick, just happy to finally meet her.

Good luck, what you are feeling is natural, I remember feeling so scared on the journey to hospital to be induced but it was the start of a new chapter in my life. It is definitely a wonderful life experience.

Definitely remain upright and mobile as long as possible and use abdomnial breathing between contractions and for as long as possible during contractions. Apparently the body naturally goes to abdominal breathing when you are completely relaxed and so forcing abdominal breathing issupposed to trick the body into being relaxed...or so said my prenatal yoga teacher! Whatever the reason, when I remembered to do this breathing the pain was much less than when I forgot.

I spent most of my labour standing up in a hot shower, which was a great help. Also one of the midwives suggested rocking my hips from side to side during contractions, so I tried it and it did actually help!

I had planned to have gas and air if needed, however, with all the concentrating on breathing and hip rocking my baby was born before it even occurred to me to ask for pain relief!

Good luck and however it goes, just remember it is only 1 day of your life, it does have an end....and you have a beautiful baby at the end of it all!!

I have 6 weeks to go before my due date and was worried sick about labour. Having read some of the messages here I feel slightly more relaxed now. Thanks for your words of experience.

Forgot to mention, get some arnica for after the birth, really good for bruising. I also delivered on all fours, much easier if you find yourself suffering with your back.

Having had number 2 on Sunday this is all quite fresh in my mind! With number 1 I really wanted a water birth and totally natural - only to be sent in by my GP at 36 weeks with high blood pressure / protein in urine (it was a regular ante-natal appointment) and him expecting me to have a c-section that day. When they checked me out they found I was already 2cm and the monitor picked up regular contactions (although I could feel nothing) so allowed me to try labour so long as they broke my waters and I had an epidural. I held off on the epidural as long as I could since I had a real thing about the needle in my spine, but in the end had a small but pretty healthy baby by forceps 10 hours after having seen my GP. Not at all the birth plan I had in mind, needed a weeks stay in hospital for both of us to get feeding etc sorted, but the only after effects were a rash from all the plasters needed for the drips etc and a couple of stiches.

With number 2 I had no idea what labour would be like and had given up on the idea of a birth plan. This time I was woken at 6 by number 1 son, he went down stairs with his dad at about 6:30, at 7 I decided I was too uncomfortable to get back to sleep but didn't think it was labour (I was one day overdue). At 7:45 I thought it might be labour so decided we should all get showered and dressed, and finished packing bags. At this stage it felt like period pains mixed with constipation - I thought contractions would start at the top of the bump not the bottom. I arrived at hospital at 9:20 - was met at the door by the midwife who said I was obviously in labour so straight to the delievery room - by this stage I needed to lean on the wall during contactions, but they were still bearable, was checked out and told I could push whenever I wanted, if they broke my waters it would be 10 mins if they didn't an extra half hour. I opted not to have my waters broken. I did the kneeling on the bed holding the bed head. The only thing I wanted my husband to do was spray me with water (Sunday being the hottest day we've had) - didn't want to be touched or spoken too. At 10:19 number 2 son arrived after 5 pushes (the first one breaking the waters in a most impressive fashion), I turned so he could lie on my chest, my husband cut the cord and midwife left the three of us just to sit and gaze at each other. At 3:30 pm I was allowed home.

Two totally different labours but both producing healthly little boys, which is the main thing. The epidural really wasn't as bad as I expected and I would have asked for some sort of pain medication this time if I had needed it. Don't get too set on an 'ideal' labour, seems to me if you arrive at the hospital singly and leave as a pair then something went right.

And I would recommend lavender oil baths for healing and eating lots of dried fruit or other high fibre food to make that first bowel movement as easy as possible.

Congratulations - I mean, if you can already sit at a computer terminal, there's hope for all of us! Your second labour sounds amazing, my worry has been that I will have a very fast labour this time - was it shocking?
I have been having regular Braxton Hicks for over two weeks now with quite painful tummy ache etc for the last two days (and previously a week ago!), I keep thinking, 'this could be it....' which is getting very boring, anyone got any ideas how to 'switch off' - or alternatively any sure-fire methods for geting things moving!