Giving Birth

[Lumpy]

I am due my baby 2 weeks on saturday and have started to feel a bit nervous about labour (as Im a bit of a wimp when it comes to pain) - does anyone have any advice re pain relief/best positions for childbirth - I was ok until I started reading the baby books - agghhh...HELP.

Hmonty, I was thinking the same thing, not too big, not too small. My son was 6lb 6oz.

!!!Bells, 2hrs 20mins! where were you at the time? did you get to the hospital OK?

Can I ask..if you are that quick, do you tend to tear more easily? I was very lucky last time, as my midwife seemed to stop me from tearing, but at 2hours, I wonder is it still possible?

Congratulations Pupuce - glad all went well for you and that Amy arrived safely.
Lil, I'm pleased to say that I can also be your virtual pregnant friend. Very, very early days (also due early April) - haven't told anyone other than dh yet - but somehow announcing it to cyberspace is not so bad!

Lil, fortunately we live 5 mins from the hospital. First contractions were literally 2 mins apart and were vicious. Pushing started after about 20 - 25 mins from the first contraction. Apparently I went from 2 cm - 10 cm in about five minutes flat which is something my midwife had never seen before!. I vaguely remember during all the commotion her commenting that I was obviously designed to have a dozen children...

Despite the rapidity though, it was a ventouse in the end. My son had (and still has!) a ridiculously large head and he got stuck and his heartbeat dropped. So the tear was indeed quite nasty. From what I have heard, you are definitely more likely to tear the faster it is. I know I had a very very easy time of it compared to most but I have to say that I found the sheer speed all quite traumatic - I just couldn't believe it was all happening so fast and of course, it meant no pain relief.

Bells - no wonder you're concerned this time around. How much faster can it get???

Bugsy - that's fantastic, many congratulations. Its so amazing, I never thought I'd ever be in synch with so many mumsnet users! We should have a seperate chat string, so we don't bore the other mums with our excitement!!

My doc said not to 'tell the world' yet, but its so hard not to mention it -especially if friends ask outright. I can never think of a good reason why I'm not drinking my usual quota of wine!

Blimey Bells, that is just so fast. My friend had her first baby in 3 hours and the 2nd in 1 hour 35 mins. It was a real panic for her to get to the hospital and she was so far gone that she was in the back seat of the car with her bottom raised up in the air. Apparently they just got her, on a trolley, to the delivery suite in time to give a couple of pushes and out popped her daughter. She said having her knickers removed in the lift under a sheet was one of the more hilarious moments!!!

Thanks Lil and congrats to you too. I'm still in denial as I don't feel pregnant like I did the first time at all. My symptoms (so far) are so mild that if it hadn't been for the obvious absence of a period and the little blue line then I wouldn't know really. I keep thinking that something must be wrong and that I should feel more pregnant. How are you doing? And did I see you mention that Hmonty is pregnant too?

Many congrats Bugsy - I am envious of you lot with your lovely spring babies!. I am actually quite concerned at the prospect of giving birth on the trading floor at work - wonder whether they would give me a hamper or something!. I certainly will be prepared for a home birth in any event.

Trading floor, oh my god, all those barrow boys turning green whilst trying to trade futures!! That has to be the worst environment ever. Maybe you could logon to mumsnet and we could have our first 'live' birth, where we all chip in with helpful suggestions for your colleagues

(oops, apologies for sick sense of humour!)

More seriously, cough, cough, why are you leaving it so late? are you only allowed the minimum maternity leave - assuming you are returning to work? That is pretty tough.

My SIL had her first baby in 90 minutes, the second in 55 minutes. I was kinda disappointed that she didn't go on to have a third....!

My second baby was born in four hours, but my third and fourth were about ten hours each, so it doesn't follow that you'll always have a fast birth.

Ha ha Lil! I have nominated the most lairy of the lot to be my "birthing partner" and he clearly isn't sure whether or not I am joking!!. The reason I am leaving it so late is simply financial. I want to take 4 - 6 months off (having only been entitled to 14 weeks for number 1) but have to keep paying our nanny during that time as I want to then return to work. I only get the statutory minimum of 6 weeks pay at 90% and then SMP. So shelling out the £1500 or so a month she costs while earning £240 a month isn't going to be easy bearing in mind that I usually pay half the mortgage and everything else. I don't mind at all but I am a little worried as to what will happen if the baby is bang on time.

Ouch Bells, £1500 a month makes my £550 for continuing my nursery, feel not so bad! I can't lose the place because the waiting lists around here are in years not months! But what if you stopped the nanny, and took an extra month off at the end to find another good nanny? you'd be 9 grand minus 1 month's income better off!!

I know Lil, I have been agonising about it as the whole thing is really going to eat into my savings (and to be honest, I'm not especially looking forward to having her about the house during my maternity leave as I like a bit of solitude). Problem is she is a very good nanny who has been with us since our son was 3 months old and he loves her dearly. She is clearly very happy with her current position and I have never had a moment's concern over the way she looks after our son. Also, any nanny we have needs to start at 6.45am which I think narrows the field a bit. Basically, having heard so many of my friends' horror stories over their childcare (many are on their 3rd or 4th nanny) that I'm just not sure it is worth the risk.

Bells, I know it is mind numbingly expensive but you may find she is a huge help and your son will be less unsettled by her constant presence. I also remember being quite stunned by the degree of solitude I encountered after all the initial interest died down when our son was born, so the fact you can engage in some chat for a bit maybe more of a bonus than you think at the moment.

Yes, I guess having a baby and a toddler running around is not going to be easy at first. The nanny would at least mean you could get some sleep. I don't know how mothers manage in those first few months. When can a mum rest? no more 'sleep when they sleep' mantra, if number 1 son is demanding attention. I guess we're pretty lucky when you think about it.

Bells, I think you're probably right to stick with the nanny. We saved up enough money to keep our son at nursery while I was on maternity leave with baby no. 2, and we're so glad we did. Leaving aside the benefits to me (rest etc), it meant that something in his life stayed consistent when everything else was changing so drastically. Nursery tell me that he was absolutely fine, and they noticed no change in his behaviour except that he ate 3 helpings of every meal! (which was just as well, because he gave up eating anything at all at home for about 3 weeks after the baby arrived). And if she's a good nanny then you don't want to lose her. Is she at all apprehensive about having you around the house all day?

Yeah Bugsy - she will be a huge help. Incredibly different to first time around as sleep deprivation will not nearly be so much of a problem. Curiously Azzie she doesn't seem at all apprehensive about having me around which I am rather surprised at. We have a very good relationship but it certainly isn't close or personal. We have relatively little in common but to be honest, I slightly prefer it that way!.

I think on balance it is the right thing to do - it will mean little disruption to our son's routine and after all, his happiness and security is paramount - even to the tune of 9 grand (gulp!).

Hi Lil and Bugsy,

Congrats Bugsy! I've only told hubbie and Mumsnet so far too! Don't want to tempt fate this time (had a miscarriage in January). I do feel a bit in denial as well though. I booked an evening class yesterday and when I told hubbie, he was asking how long it went on for...when I said a year he mentioned 'what about the baby'...Hadn't even thought of that!! Wonder if they'd mind me breast feeding in my Portuguese class??? (I did at the hairdressers last time but he was hidden under the gown!).

It's so nice to have cyber pregnant friends! We'll have to compare notes. Morning sickness has just started to kick in for me....I'm taking this as a good sign as I've been told that the sicker you feel the less chance there is of losing the baby. Don't know if that's an old wives tale but it makes the sickness seem worthwhile (gotta look on the bright side!). Need to nip down to Tesco for a packet of lemon sherbets. The only thing that worked last time. Also getting very vivid dreams at the moment. Had a very strange one last night where I was kidnapped by someone from the maffia who turned out to be Michael Elphick (sp?) - Actor in Boon and has just turned up in Eastenders....- Why him though? V strange....

I haven't been to my doctor yet as he's on holiday and third time round I feel less of a rush (been there, done that!). I could go and see his locum but my GP is such a lovely bloke. Can't wait to meet up with the community midwife again as well. She's soooo nice!

My big concern this time round (once we get past the initial scan and know all is well) is that I'll probably be giving up work this time. I always carried on before but with 3 children it just wouldn't be worth it. Even though it's something I want to do I'm not sure if I can cope at home on my own all day. I always felt that goiing back to work was by far the easier option! I'm definitely going to have to keep up the nursery place 2 days a week until my eldest goes to school next year or he'll get very confused...but between April and September what do I do with a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a new born all day! Agghhh! Thank goodness the weather will be getting warmer and I can chuck them in the garden...Bit scarey though...

So much to do. I want to look into using cloth nappies this time and I'd like to try a water birth (having read the string on that). Think I'll give home births a miss. Rather mess up someone elses sheets....

You can tell I haven't told any friends yet by the amount I wittering on...Better stop now and do some work otherwise I'll be going on maternity leave much earlier than planned!!

Hmonty, am happy to read you 'wittering on'. So many similiar worries. I am having those whacky dreams as well. Lots and lots of mad snippets. Why???

Am also part dreading giving up work completely next year, its going to be strange. Is your 2 year old at nursery as well? are you going to keep them both there even tho' you're not working? I want to keep my little one at nursery, but i can't afford to do that for too long if I'm not working. Big question for anyone out there is how does your first child cope with packing in nursery when no. 2 comes along. I feel really mean about it - he does love it there.

Can't wait for the nuchal scan, I will feel so much happier when all's confirmed OK. still got a month to go - are you having it?

Congratulations,Bugsy. Hope all goes well!!

Goodness, what a lot of you are pregnant. Every time I see a new name crop up on this thread, I expect to see another announcement.

All of us non-pregnant mumsnetters will have to get our virtual knitting needles out and make a start on all those matinee jackets and socks!

Lil,
Yes I'm waiting for the nuchal scan too. That's when I found out last time that I'd lost the baby so I'm really nervous about having it...but at the same time I can't wait. It's so good to see the baby for the first time. I'm 35, so I know my chances of having problems have increased which makes me keener than ever to have the scan to check that everything is hopefully ok (fingers crossed)....and to add the first fuzzy photo to the album!

I'm going to keep both boys at nursery until the summer I think (if we can manage financially). Maybe for just one or two days a week. They've both been there since they were each one and it's absolutely fantastic. I always wish I could stay too! Then my eldest will be off to school. Not sure what to do with the two year old after that. I think I'll check out local playgroups as they'll be cheaper, he'll get the social interaction and I'll get some time alone with the baby. Such a shame though. I really don't want to give up the nursery...

Better add 'check out playgroups' to my list of 'things to do'...! I think I'd better try and join the NCT or similar too as I don't have any friends with children close by. We moved here when I was pregnant the first time and I didn't manage to keep in touch with any one from my antenatal classes as I went back to work full time. I have a horrible feeling I'm going to be very isolated otherwise.....Aggghhh what am I doing!!!

Lil/Croppy, I live near Brighton. Don't suppose you live close by do you??

Hmonty, I am thinking I ought to join the NCT too, although I hated it first time around. I guess that was because I was working, and its really geared up for SAHMs. The playgroup idea is a good one, its for the odd afternoon isn't it? I wonder how long the waiting list is for them?

I live sorta within driving distance (Epsom!) and always love a trip to the seaside, though my little one still hasn't been there yet (due to pebbles!)....maybe we could all meet up at Brown's for a Mumsnet coffee morning! Bells and Bugsy are you nearby?

BTW was that a typo or did you mean Croppy is pg as well!!!!!

I'm in central London but would certainly be on for a seaside jaunt. I have also just sent off my NCT membership form but don't hold out any great hopes...

Presume Hmonty's was a typo - I'm the pain with the chicken stock not an expectant mother!