AIBU to be seriously fuming that hospital want to take my NB from me 30 mins after birth for up to 12 hours?! GOOD ADVICE REALLY NEEDED!

[UmSami]

I was initially going to post this in AIBU, but thought that Childbirth may be a better forum...I apologise if I am wrong, and especially apologising for having a rant in this normally tranquil zone!
First of all, please allow me to clarify that I am not based in the UK, and you shouldn't encounter such crazy policies for your own labours...DON'T WORRY!
Anyhoo, I am 40+2 with my second, and my Obgyn has just been over for a visit (she's a friend too, I'll be seeing her professionally tomorrow.
Well, it has just come up in conversation that it is hospital policy to take your baby from you 30 mins after birth and place them in a nursery where they will be monitored for between 6 & 12 hours
I knew of this policy earlier, actually finding out whilst I was in the UK, but made it clear at that point that there was no way I would accept that without clear medical need, and would rather stay in the uk. DH spoke to obgyn and she said it would be ok...
Then today, obgyn says it is hospital policy and out of her hands, I questioned re skin to skin and bf, she said well you have 30 mins [anger]... she questioned what would happen if baby became cyanotic, had convulsions etc...I was like well I won't just sit and watch..I'll call someone...she stated there are no paeds on hand in mat word, hence baby needs to be in nursery...
I am really fuming with this...its completely against the grain for me, ds whilst having a consultant lead complicated birth, that was classed as an obstetric emergency, was left with me after paed assistance being given in rrom, and was on boob for an hour!
I really don't know what to do about this..I don't want to upset my friend...I can't think of anyone I'd rather have deliver this baby...I don't want to start looking for another hosp now...thats stupidity, but I also don't see how I can have this baby in that environment, i'm just now so stressed...I also dont want to make a rash decission that leads to medical care not being available in the unlikely event that something does go wrong.
What do you think?

I think it's appalling. If you and baby are well, presumably you can just check yourselves out and go home? DSis and DB checked themselves and newborn DN out of hospital two hours after DN was born.

Surely you can refuse? YANBU, I'd be fuming too.

Are you high risk in any way?

Have they any reason at all to suspect your baby might stop breathing or start convulsing?

Frankly they sound insane to me, and driven by the demands of their insurance, not medical or human need. (go on, tell me I'm wrong...)

YANBU.

where are you?

can you check out earlier?

Yeah just hold on to the baby and tell themto get lost. Are you in Japan?

What a ridiculously unnecessary and horrible policy. Don't you pay for healthcare in the US, as well? Can't you just tell them to bugger off...or threaten to sue them or something .

Sounds frightful and cant see how thats supposed to work re bf. Surely they will have to feed baby via bottle during that time.

Can you not just refuse to give the baby up?

Surely they can't physically remove a baby from you unless you let them?

She didn't say where she was, MrsM.

This isn't standard policy in the US, either, unless you or the baby are high risk.

My sister's two roomed in with her and they're 14 and 12.

This used to be normal here, too. Home birth, birth unit, none of those are an option?

I wasn't in your situation, but I have given birth twice in the UK and then twice abroad (in Spain). They have some very weird ways here too (very interventionist, medicalised births etc). However, I stuck to my guns on most issues and they pretty much let me do what I wanted, putting it down to my 'strange foreigner' ways. Occasionally this meant signing waivers such as 'I understand I am putting my baby's and my life at risk by not agreeing to be put on syntocinon to speed up labour when I have only been having contractions for 4 hours'.I also had to discharge myself and DD3 against medical advice (more forms) for asking to leave hospital 36 hours after birth (no medical reason to stay - they just can't understand why you'd want to leave so soon!).

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that often, if you stand up for yourself, they have no power to make you do things you don't want to. Obviously, if there's a medical need you would. But if it's just policy, challenge it. They may look pityingly at your poor deluded foreign ways, but what do you care!

Good luck.

What is more important to you, the person who delivers your baby or what happens to the baby for the first 12 hours of his/her life? If it was my decision I would go with the latter every time - not just for the baby's benefit but also for yours. It seems very cruel to both parties (and a recipe for PND). I would change hospital unless your friend is prepared to guarantee that your baby stays with you the whole time unless medically indicated.

Does this hospital also insist that all old people are admitted in case they have a stroke and all overweight people in case they have a heart attack? It is a ludicrous policy.

That's dreadful
Upset your friend, please, not worth wrecking the birth of your child over

I'm in Gulf Region of middle east...
I put the policy down to a number of reasons...but this is just my opinion...

1. Culture...maids raise kids here, and the hosp where I am having the baby is where this countries Royals, and military deliver...it is by far the best, and I am one hand lucky to have baby here...but I'm no royal...I'll be raising my own baby thank you!
2. There is a high level of consanguinious marriages here...therefore higher risk of congenital defects.
3. Insurance - this ain't the NHS, there's no such thing for expats...all hospitals love to bill...don't they? I'm just really loosing the plot over this...I'm more than willing to tell anyone to get their hands off my baby or discharge myself...but I don't really want a scene either...my FIL has worked in this hosp for years...I don't wnat to embarrass him, My obgyn is a good friend...I don'tg wnat to upset her... BUT most of all I don't want to be thinking about whats gonna happen all through labour...

You really need another hospital. You shouldn't be thinking about your husband's career and your friend's feelings when you are in labour and for the first few hours afterwards.

Yeah I'm worried about PND too,
I did consider suggesting that they admit baby til 6 months old til risk of SIDS is reduced...I mean surely thats the next 'logical' step...just in case! Oh but I forgot to mention...SIDS apparantly doesnt exist here
I should also clarify there are no expected complications...had placental sep early on and had progesterone injections and bed rest as a result but all fine since 24 weeks.

I would go the discharge route.

If you're worried, equste with a homebirth and read a few threads there- you'ds till be nearer medical aid during the deliveryy after all, and no different to any at home Mum here in the UK afterwards.

TBH were you in the UK they'd want you out ASAP anyway

Either refuse to hand the baby over, go to the nursery after she has been there for an hour and take her back, or discharge yourself. There are plenty of good medical reasons why a baby should not be separated from her mother immmediately after birth for 12 hours, and not very many good reasons why she should (even if she needs monitoring, why can't you be with her?).

I think when you have given birth and someone is trying to take your baby off for 12 hours you aren't going to give a about your FIL or your firend's feelings.

It's the type of thing that would make me want to have the baby at home on my own because the thought of not spending the 1st 12hours of my childs life together would traumatise me! (i'm not a soft, namby pamby mum either both my kids have been abroad without me but those first few days/ weeks are very precious for bonding imo! I don't undertsnad why they would do this?!

I don't see how they can enforce this TBH.

I'm really sorry you're in this situation and hope you can find a good way round it. Here are some random thoughts of possible ways round it (am good at generating wild ideas, me, so feel free to ignore)

Can you invent some sudden and pressing reason why you need to be discharged asap that you can tell the hospital? (e.g. family emergency) Is your friend sympathetic? If so, tell her straight that you will want to discharge yourself straight away - maybe she can arrange it so the paperwork can be brought to Delivery Suite and you can take your time over signing it to get a bit of rest before you go??

While it's not ideal not to BF for six hours after birth, skin to skin is most important. Can your DH take the baby for skin to skin away from the hospital while you do a bit of recovery?

Ask your friend what would happen if they suspected exposure to some kind of infectious disease such as chicken pox - surely it would be dangerous to put your baby in the nursery with the others if that were the case? You could maybe be isolated by yourselves together because oh dear your niece flew in from London 2 days ago and within hours was covered in awful spots. We think it might be chicken pox. Can't be too careful....

The fact is that they can't make you go along with their batty policies. You will need DH on side because you will not in the best position to fight, but if you don't want your baby to go to that nursery, she dosn't go. End of.

First of all, call the hospital and have a chat with a senior nurse or manager on the maternity ward. You often find that the consultants aren't actually particulalry involved in matters post push. You can hardly be the first expat to raise these issues and there may be more leeway than your friend thinks. Find out the details for sure before you panic.
When you call you might say that you are willing to sign papers aknowledging that you are acting against hospital policy by keeping your baby with you, if that gives you any more options?

This may be a mad suggestion, but could you be in the nursery with the baby?

That's brilliant mrsgboring - what an imagination. I bet the dog never ate your homework.

I'd go with chicken pox one.