AIBU to be seriously fuming that hospital want to take my NB from me 30 mins after birth for up to 12 hours?! GOOD ADVICE REALLY NEEDED!

[UmSami]

I was initially going to post this in AIBU, but thought that Childbirth may be a better forum...I apologise if I am wrong, and especially apologising for having a rant in this normally tranquil zone!
First of all, please allow me to clarify that I am not based in the UK, and you shouldn't encounter such crazy policies for your own labours...DON'T WORRY!
Anyhoo, I am 40+2 with my second, and my Obgyn has just been over for a visit (she's a friend too, I'll be seeing her professionally tomorrow.
Well, it has just come up in conversation that it is hospital policy to take your baby from you 30 mins after birth and place them in a nursery where they will be monitored for between 6 & 12 hours
I knew of this policy earlier, actually finding out whilst I was in the UK, but made it clear at that point that there was no way I would accept that without clear medical need, and would rather stay in the uk. DH spoke to obgyn and she said it would be ok...
Then today, obgyn says it is hospital policy and out of her hands, I questioned re skin to skin and bf, she said well you have 30 mins [anger]... she questioned what would happen if baby became cyanotic, had convulsions etc...I was like well I won't just sit and watch..I'll call someone...she stated there are no paeds on hand in mat word, hence baby needs to be in nursery...
I am really fuming with this...its completely against the grain for me, ds whilst having a consultant lead complicated birth, that was classed as an obstetric emergency, was left with me after paed assistance being given in rrom, and was on boob for an hour!
I really don't know what to do about this..I don't want to upset my friend...I can't think of anyone I'd rather have deliver this baby...I don't want to start looking for another hosp now...thats stupidity, but I also don't see how I can have this baby in that environment, i'm just now so stressed...I also dont want to make a rash decission that leads to medical care not being available in the unlikely event that something does go wrong.
What do you think?

Sorry i sounded idealistic. of course in ideal world i guess i was lucky, apart from a few scratches.

TinkerBellesMum, I'm so sorry you had such a rubbish time of it...I really hope that everything's going much better for you now!
As for idealism, nothing wrong with a bit of idealism...I know i'll be tough tomorrow...the idea of being seperated from my DS 2.7 to have his sister is killing me...I'll be discharging ASAP anyway...I'm a great believer that kids need to be with their parents...I'm also a great believer that my DNB should come into a calm peaceful world...
am thinking at the moment that I will say on admission that I have been clear from start that noone is going to take my baby...i am not prepared to go through labour worrying about it...nor am i prepared to have my daughters first experience of the world to be conflict...if that can't be guaranteed I will leave now. If they say ok leave, I'm not sure what will happen next...but I just can't do this this way...I'm being induced tomorrow...I should be asleep! Too stressed!

tut tut Umsami, why were you up so late the night before DD's arrival?
Just so you know, I'm all prepared. Have abaya at door, taxi number at hand and will put on my pointiest stilettos to inflict maximum pain to some butt! Plus, had a bad nights sleep(was so hyper after staying up to watch F1 and got very stressed by 'our boy' scaring us!) Methinks this baby may end up being called Lewis!
anyway, ready to kick butt for you if you are too tired. Also, I've found out here that they are more scared of us mere women shouting at them than our DH's! They can't handle it! x

Mumoverseas thanks for the good advise...I can scream like a banshee! Though from what I've seen, men here should be used to it...guess the women just don't argue over anything of benefit...
Oh for the record...DO NOT WEAR YOUR STILETTOS! The last thing we need is a pregnant mumoverseas doing herself some serious damage...very funny image tho'!
I strongly approve of Lewis by the way! Very cute!
I'm so shattered, and feeling so stupid for being up so late...especially as when I went to bed S got up demanding milk, and R's brother!
Anyway...off to play with S and finish packing...
Take it easy and hopefully see you soon!
What about this rain?!
x

Good luck UmSami - you sound like a wonderful mummy and I really hope everything works out perfectly for you and your family.

I'm sending you rainbows of calm and love, please do keep us posted as I know we are all rooting for you.
big hugs .... and breathe OK?

Somebody I knew in England had baby in Portland (expensive private hospital). They paid consultant NOT to carry out cs or forceps, unless life was at risk. She had lovely natural birth, unlike most of the other mums that went there. If you pay for it, you should be able to choose. Be strong.

Hi All...sorry I am completely rubbish...with 2 year old and newborn antics, and very dodgy internet I've just not been able to get on...
Anyway...I an happy to report that my dd arrived, as planned 4/11/08...happy and healthy...
The birth was on the whole great...and with the help of DH, a strong willed friend, and an amazingly kind and understanding Aussie NICU nurse, I kept hold of my darling little girl...and succeeded in traumatising the less understanding hosp staff...Its a good job as my little porka bf for over 3 hours after birth!
The only down point was when the director of paeds decided it was appropriate to come and discuss the need to take my baby whilst I was in active labour and my dh had nipped to the car...for god knows what, but it seemed important at the time! Despite me saying i was unwilling to have him in the room without my hubby, in he came...I showed amazing restraint if I do say so myself...
I listened to his codswallap about 'allowing' me to have my baby for 20 mins before taking her for the shortest time poss...in his opinion about 3 hours...and how my fears of my baby being switched were unfounded as it had never happened there and my hubby could accompany baby ... i resisted the urge to punch the idiot, and rather reassured him that my demands had nothing to do with babies being switched, but rather my belief that babies should have time to bf, skin to skin, and get to know mummy rather than be proded and poked...I thanked the pilk for taking the time to come and see me (between gritted teeth), told him that I understood the increased risk to babies in the community there, and the 'need' for such 'medical intervention' in that society (cough, yawn, snigger), but pointed out that due to my and my partners cultural diversity the same risks could not be applied to us...I 'reasured' (lets humour the silly sd)that if there was clear medical need for my child to be taken I wouldn't object....he left...I think my screams were getting too much for him...
Anyway when bubs was born, a NICU nurse was sent in and told me they'd come in every 20 mins to check bubs...I patted myself on the back for my diplomacy and compelling arguement...anyway, I later found out that, God bless her...the nurse had been sent in to convince the mislead and unagreeable western woman to give up her baby...she'd humoured her director said I'll try, whilst saying nothing to me, and telling her direct boss, that there is no way she'd do it, and that that's not the way we do things in the west...I'll be eternally grateful...
Was so shocking though, how little the midwifes knew about babies...Managed to escape hospital the next morning...again, sooner than the hospital was prepared for, and had to go back next day for a paeds check...but all's well, and I'm happy to say that thank God...my little poppet is GORGEOUS...no bias honest
Thanks for all the kind words and support...xxx

Message withdrawn

UmSami - Congratulations on the safe arrival of your DD .

A shame there was so much stress involved, but I'm so pleased you got such a good result in the end. Well done for standing your ground so well, and lets think whichever Lord you like for foreign nurses!

Only just read this thread, oh my god! They take just born babies off mothers for hours on end, thats just awful, a baby is meant to be close to its mother after birth to calm down and feed. I wonder what their evidence based research is telling them. I had a 2 day labour with emcs, and health professionals still were very keen on the skin to skin and breastfeeding asap thankfully. I still missed out on that first half hour being stitched up which i was devastated about, though her father was holding her. Dd soon made up for it with marathon feeding session in recovery though. And to think women with perfectfully normal births and babies are going through this. Well done on sticking to your guns!! And congrats.

I know it's
I'm sad to say it happens alot here...there are a number of factors at play and it's not all down to the hcp's.
There's the 'ew factor'...ie please give me a shiny clean sparkling baby.
the 'lazy factor'...i've just given birth...what! you expect me to mother straight away...but i'm tired, i'm in pain...woe is me...where's my maid?
As well has an elevated level of heart defects in local community and a private health care system which means hospitals tend to go overboard on neonatal care (same can be said of certain private hospitals a little closer to home too I believe)
The saddest thing is that whilst in some cases it is necessary, even if for largely social reasons, there is such a 'computer says no' attitude that it is very hard to get hcp's to shift when the situation allows it. I'm just happy that we got our way, even if it did lead to a few sparks. All quite funny in retrospect...they all think i'm nuts

Well done UmSami for sticking up for yourself and getting the right outcome. It must have been really difficult esp when you were in active labour ffs! I'm going to remember you if I find myself in a situation where a dr is deciding to play God and tell me what I 'must' do or "this is what we always do here". They may think you're nuts but who cares?!! And it will probably be 100x easier for the next woman who goes in there saying "You're not taking my baby to the nursery".

Gosh this puts the NHS into perspective, doesn't it?

Good on you for sticking on your guns!

I've just read this thread, it's a fascinating story - you should write it up and send in to a newspaper/magazine here in the UK (although I'm sure that's the last thing you have time for with DD and NB!)

I agree Cory, it really makes me appreciate the NHS, and feel lucky to have our medical system. I already thought that after hearing many American friends' experiences - SO much intervention etc - but I think they are pretty progressive here (albeit with much room for improvement... but at least we're heading in the right direction).

UmSami, I wonder if your strong stance will make any of the hospital staff think twice about the way they do things there?