On a scale of 1-10, how painful is giving birth?

[rogantano]

I want to give birth to a baby naturally but my pain threshold is non-existent… my mum is worried about the day I give birth because she said all I’ll be doing is screaming

I couldn’t believe the pain, had an epidural that didn’t work. Gas and air did absolutely nothing- I honestly couldn’t believe I stayed conscious- I thought humans would pass out with that much pain. I was begging for a caesarean.
BTW- I am not a feeble creature- literally never take painkillers but I found birth excruciating.
I’m being really honest with you OP as I felt so upset no one warned me how bad it can be .
That said, it’s a spectrum and I have friends and family members who really didn’t find it that bad. I’m quite petite with a very big DH and v big baby. Terrible, terrible mix- I should have been offered a caesarean.

Hi OP,
I wouldn't listen to your mum. Every birth is so different.
l have a crap pain threshold and have had 1 vaginal delivery and 1 CS.
The vaginal delivery itself was absolutely excruciating, I was delirious and sick with the pain meds, plus I sustained a small tear and lost quite a lot of blood! However, my recovery was very quick and easy. I was up and out and back to a normal(ish) routine just a few days after.
I had a CS for my second and the delivery itself was wonderful and really peaceful, however my recovery was awful! Just so slow and painful and it took about 10 weeks before I even felt comfortable wearing a sling or driving (despite what they say about it being 6 weeks!) I appreciate this is unusual, but I had never had surgery before and as an active person, I found it really hard.
For me personally, the vaginal delivery, although worse in the moment with my crap pain threshold, was much simpler to come back from and had I known how tricky my CS recovery would be, I probably would have pushed for another vaginal birth. Other people will have completely different views/experiences, as all births are so different!

Wishing you lots of luck with however you deliver and congratulations on your pregnancy!

@Nb14658 I think you have just proved her mum right! It’s a pain you won’t have experienced before but it’s worst peaks are avoidable.

Not quite as bad as biliary colic (gallbladder) but almost, and went on for about eight times as long, so definitely produced more pain (plus other systemic symptoms) overall.
However both were definitely over the crucial bar of “I feel like this is something I might die from”.
It is fine to take pain relief!

I don’t want a medal or gold star but I feel strongly that I don’t want to interfere with my body’s natural processes and how it feels so my brain knows what to do. So I did 2 labours with gas and air and this was important to me. It doesn’t make me better than anyone else and pain relief is available and should be used if wished - but that’s why I didn’t want pain relief other than the entonox and it had nothing to do with wanting a medal.

I think most of it is luck. How the baby is lying, how effective your contractions are. Yes, your pain threshold.

I had no pain relief at all with my births. That has very little to do with me and mostly luck. I was certainly open to an epidural if I wanted one though.

The worst pain I have ever experienced was my milk coming in with my first. It still makes me shudder, 21 years later. It was a day of torture. Absolute torture. The thing I most dreaded when I became pregnant with my second, though it wasn’t as bad. My mum had the same experience.

If I could experience birth again, I absolutely would!

My first was a back to back birth with only gas and air for pain relief

So pain was definitely a 10

( Id always wanted a home birth which is why there wasn’t any stronger pain relief and by the time the midwife decided it was time for an ambulance it was all too late )
Had I really appreciated the level of pain I’d have gone all out for an epidural in a hospital

Ive never had a straight normal birth ( second was twins by C-section) so can’t speak with experience on that front I’m afraid

Ps
Screaming is fine and I’d imagine wierd if you didn’t. Unless you’re married to Tom Cruise of course

10 but you forget the pain very quickly afterwards. If you gave a natural birth it's a very constructive pain, yoyr body tells you what to do. But there are no medals for not having pain relief if that helps.

@queenmeadhbh It’s usually about boasting afterwards! About how superior your birth was over those awful
mums who had brain fog and useless discoordinated bodies! Midwifery is being investigated for unsafe practices. Is it any wonder when we have such fixed views that are replicated amongst professionals? Mums and midwives should do what’s best for the baby. It’s not about a mantra or feeling superior by not having an intervention.

@OhDear111 do you actually know anyone who didn’t have pain relief so that they could boast about it afterwards? I don’t!

With both births I chose beforehand not to have an epidural because they were high risk pregnancies and I was advised by the consultant that having an epidural increases the risk of intervention and I was really keen to avoid a c section.

I actually love the idea of having an epidural if I do it again, but I don’t have enough faith in the midwives to clock on to what’s going on unless I can feel it myself!

It increased as labour went on. I was on the drip, so it started as maybe a 2 with mild cramps, while a full blown contraction at its peak was more like a 8 or 9.

The worst pain I've ever felt was the broken ends of my left tibia and fibula rubbing against each other while I was getting a temporary cast applied to go to X-ray. I was maxed out on morphine and it was still unbearable. I can remember uncontrollably screaming. In fairness, the poor staff didn't know just how bad and unstable the fracture was at the time because...well I hadn't had an X-ray yet. They were holding my leg as still as they could. I was a month shy of turning 12.

@vitalityvix Absolutely! I went to nct classes (mistake!) and that’s all I heard from some. I said I wanted an epidural and there was an intake of breath by the tutor and sharp looks from others. They were resolutely non intervention (gas and air being the limit) and of course it was a badge of honour afterwards. It is like belonging to a club of superior mums and they also say how easy it was. In other words I’m a wuss.

They even went as far as saying an epidural harms babies so why would I ever think that was a good idea? There are women who don’t like other women making informed choices for themselves and I’d put money on the latest midwifery and birthing safety enquiry will find over reliance on “natural” births in the profession is an issue in terms of safety and not recognising (sometimes deliberately) when intervention is needed. I share your concerns about midwives. If my DDs have DCs, I’m paying for them!

Then you were lucky @giddyboo, some people metabolise opiates differently. But, statistically speaking, babies born to mothers who’ve had opiates can be drowsy and have reduced feeding reflexes.

…..I literally said it doesn’t make me better than anyone else. The question was asked why someone would not take pain relief so I gave the reason why I didn’t. You then made it about boasting and you’re the one who called other women “awful” and “uncoordinated” because I certainly didn’t and I certainly don’t think that. My experience is that women who have epidurals are applauded and women who don’t have any pain relief are told they are martyrs and show offs. Even though I don’t think it’s anything to show off about and only tell when asked.

ETA: I just saw in another post you say that some women don’t like women making informed choices…but that’s exactly what i did. I did my research and made an informed choice. Why is that less valid in your eyes than an informed choice to have an epidural/take opiate pain relief etc?

@queenmeadhbh Of course you made an informed choice. What I don’t like is the zeal with which natural birth mothers decry everyone else. Midwives do it. The nct does it. An informed choice before labour is informed at that point. It can be a poor choice 12 hours into labour and being flexible matters.

In my personal opinion it was about 150 😂
BUT that was for the most painful crowning times each time I delivered and it’s a relatively short period of time compared to Labour in its entirety.
I just had gas and air each time even though I asked for whatever the numbing injection through the spine is called (I can’t remember now!) - every time I was told I couldn’t have one, no anaesthetist, not enough time and whatever the excuse was the third time.

8 to 9 without Epidural after they broke my waters. I was begging for it at 4cm dilated

C section (i had an emergency one due to sepsis and failure to progress) was a walk in the park. I wish I had an elective c section and I wanted to give birth vaginally as well.

i have never ever ever met one of these zealous natural mothers decrying anyone.

also, I am not in England so my experience may be different but the only conversation I had in my recent labour with a midwife was when she asked about pain relief and I said I would try to do without she said “ok, I recommend you don’t rule anything out at this point, so let’s see how you go and you can let me know at any point”. That was it throughout my whole pregnancy. NCT also isn’t on my radar at all but I know a lot of people here talk about it so I gather they hold a lot of sway in England.

I just find this dialogue about the tyranny of natural birth so overblown when I think of the mothers I know - and 9/10 had pain relief, about half had sections, over half bottle feed.

Look uk the free birth scandal currently unfolding

Yes, I’ve read that. It’s in the US isn’t it? As I say, maybe England is like that too, I don’t know. I’m in NI and if anything we have very high rates of induction and I think c section and low breastfeeding rates.

ETA: I’ve just seen this headline in the Telegraph when looking up rates of intervention in England. It’s behind a paywall so I can’t read but it looks to be saying that intervention is the norm Uk wide? That is what I can’t tally with claims that there is pro-natural birth propaganda etc https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/12/16/britain-gives-up-on-natural-birth/

The contractions.. they are intermittent. You can cope with anything for a few minutes at a time. The crowning.. like others have said it's a purposeful pain. Tell yourself 'its just a stretch.' if you were being sawn in half with a giant saw that would be really bad because it would be bad pain, because you would know it was killing you and not supposed
to happen. But this pain feels similar but it only lasts about 4 contractions and is also intermittent so easily doable. As long as you don't get induced!

For me it was fluctuating pain which made it easier to manage it was only the last 20 minutes where it was consistent
For the actual giving birth bit it was more of a mental challenge than a painful one. It felt like trying to get a car out mud. Both times I had the "I can't do this I can't do this moments". The second time my partner said he knew baby would be here within a couple of contractions after this as I had done the same with my first.

I had paracetamol and gas and air with both labours, it wasn't my goal and I'm not one to avoid pain relief I just didn't need more than that. I had some mild painkillers immediately after labour but then didn't need any more and was up and mobile quickly.
The first I was at home until I was fully dilated. The second time I was induced because my health was deteriorating quickly and they were worried about whether I would manage labour. I slept through most of it and did ok. I had a clear idea about what I would try and what would make me switch to a c section.

Go in with an open mind, talk with your birthing partner about signs in you that would mean things are getting too much and what your progression through the options would look like. When I was having my first my plan was start with gas and air, the pool if it was available and open to suggestions from there. Probably pethidine if it was mostly ok but needed a break to rest. If I was struggling I'd go with epidural. The second one it was imperative I could rest, I couldn't have an epidural and I wouldn't have been able to cope with a long induction.

No. The birth scandal is in the NHS here! That’s why there’s an Inquiry!

I want to give birth to a baby naturally but my pain threshold is non-existent… my mum is worried about the day I give birth because she said all I’ll be doing is screaming https://routerlogin.uno/

I got this,...

Op please ignore your Mum I don't know why she is putting you down or trying to frighten you.
Every birth is different. Every woman is different. Every baby is different.

Follow your instincts and the professional guidance you are given.