On a scale of 1-10, how painful is giving birth?

[rogantano]

I want to give birth to a baby naturally but my pain threshold is non-existent… my mum is worried about the day I give birth because she said all I’ll be doing is screaming

Dear lord what is your mother playing at?

My experience was that it's a very different type of pain to other pain, and I found my body and brain reacted to it in a very different way.

And pain relief is available. Different things work for different people but TENS, water, G&A, pet hiding are all steps before an epidural BUT an epidural is also a totally valid choice if you're worried - and it's best to have it in your birth plan and request it early. You can change your mind if you decide you don't want one after all.

I won't lie, it's painful and it's hard work. But the hard work weirdly makes the pain easier to deal with - it did for me, anyway.

Umm, well your Mum instilling fear like that is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Me personally: Deep 'hard work' style discomfort. Like climbing a really big fell (I do a lot of hill walking) and it's a real struggle but every step takes you closer but you're not giving up because you want to get there.

I was kind of going 'Uuuuuurggghhhhh' as part of breathing and something immense going on in my body rather than actual pain.

Look round a huge packed football stadium. Each person had a Mum who gave birth, survived and likely chose to have more than one.

Breathing, TENS machine and then pool helped me a lot.

And no one has to be a hero. If you do not want to continue with low tech methods, ask for an epidural!

Like pp, it’s a different kind of pain, it has a purpose. It’s not the same as a broken arm etc. You will manage because you will desperately want to meet your baby.

25

It’s painful yes. But your adrenaline kicks in and it takes over. Don’t overthink it.

I’m with your mum. Fucking agony. Take the drugs

Yes, endorphins are your friend.

In labour you aren't in the same mindset or zone as normal life.

It varies massively

My first baby, I found labour very painful, although having had more babies since I think a lot of that was the unknown and the fear I felt, the abrasive and dismissive approach of the midwife I was unlucky enough to be 'cared for' when moved to the delivery ward and the way that I was told that I had hours to go and could not possibly be close to delivery when I was in fact fully dilated and ready to push (her face when I insisted that I was going to push, she grudgingly checked and I was in fact at 10cm was quite the picture).

With my second it was an absolute dream. Honestly. It never hurt more than I could handle, it was a genuinely lovely experience, he was born in the caul at home with me standing by my bed and I had the most amazing midwives there who I utterly loved.

With my third it was fine until the second stage and then when he was born he had both hands on his head so that did hurt a bit. Still, though, it was manageable.

I didn't have pain relief in any labour. There are no medals or prizes for that though and if I had felt I needed it, or had undergone long labours like so many women do (all of mine were sub 3 hours) I would definitely have asked for it and not felt I had in any way failed.

10. Take all the drugs you are offered.

Everyone used to joke that I had a low pain threshold and they'd leave the country when I was giving birth as I'd be a nightmare, however I've had 3 babies using gas and air.

It's obviously painful, but you will cope with it. I remember with my last (worst pain but I was on a drip which they say makes it more intense) I kept thinking "god I can't do this, I need an epidural" but then it would ease just as quickly as it started and I'd think "oh this is bearable, it's fine" I actually didn't get around to asking for an epidural! And when the baby is coming it's painful, but you're obviously desperate to get the baby out so you kind of focus on that.

I think the worst part can be the length on labour. It can be exhausting if you're having contractions for a long time.

Maybe don’t take your mum as your birth partner OP!

Screaming it's actually very helpful. When you scream, you tend to let go of tension which makes the whole process easier. I think we have a natural instinct to scream to help the process.

Personally, I found it fine giving birth naturally. It was, to me, very empowering. However, I would recommend labouring in an upright position (e.g kneeling against the headrest of the bed) as it allows gravity to help. The semi-seated position they recommended in my day hinders expansion and doesn't use gravity. I had one midwife insist I get in to that position for checks and the increase in pain was unbelievable.

That all said, I would recommend an open mind. I had quick and relatively easy labours. If you need drugs on the day, that's fine. It's not a test of your endurance. The goal is a healthy baby and a healthy mother. If that requires drugs (or you simply prefer drugs), that is fine.

Like an 8. But it was only properly painful for like the last hour.

I think it’s really not useful for your mum to make those comments. It is painful but it’s pain with a purpose which is somehow completely different to any other pain. I had no idea how I’d find it as I’d never broken a bone and do t think I have a particularly high tolerance for pain but I managed fine (too well actually, my composure seemed to make midwives think I was much less far along than I was!).

You can have gas and air and I think your body produces something (oxytocin?) that sends you a bit out of it anyway. DP only got in near the end with my DD (Covid) and I’d had no gas and air or anything but he said I seemed pretty out of it. Just very focused I think. My advice would be plan for the best and read a hypnobirthing book (techniques are useful for staying calm no matter what) but also don’t rule anything out in terms of pain relief if you need it at the time.

Have you ever had period pains op?
It is that x3
I had period pains which knocked me to the floor so childbirth was same

How helpful of your mother 🙄

I don’t think I have a particularly high pain threshold and can be a bit of a wuss, but I didn’t find it unbearable. I think there’s no way to tell how it will be for you, it’s just how it pans out on the day. I had some gas and air but it made me feel queasy, and because I hate being sick so much, I decided the pain was preferable.

10

It's a 10, obviously. But it's worth it if you want a baby.

My Mum told me the exact same thing from a very young age. Told me it was absolutely awful, but tbh she was right. I have a very strong pain threshold and it was fucking horrendous. Fortunately ended in an emergency C section. I remember thinking I’d let them cut my legs off to stop the pain. I then opted for 2 elective sections for my next 2.

I will say though, I have a few friends who had no trouble at all. Said it wasn’t that painful etc, so different for everyone I guess.

There is no pain at all between contractions. Obviously the contractions get closer together so it gets more constant near the end, but it's not constant for the entire length of the labour.

I found gas & air helpful, because it distances you from the pain.

10 but you forget it immediately afterwards. Take whatever they offer you, you don’t get extra points for having a drug free delivery. You will be ok between contractions but then obviously they get closer together so the last hour or so is horrendous. Pushing hurts. It’s worth it for your baby

It depends on so many things, but yes it does hurt a lot.

by the time your children have grown a bit you come to realise those things which seemed all important in the early days, really mean very little in the big scheme of things. Keep an open mind. If you need drugs, take them. If pore exhausted and in pain, have the epidural, if things are not progressing as they should, have a c section. When your baby is a teenager, glued to their phone, thinking they know it all, living off pot noodles and Gregg’s you won’t think “ah yes, that’s because I had an epidural”.

Massively varies - I couldn’t feel my contractions, thought I had backache. (Labouring without knowing is not a good thing - DS was in distress, midwives didn’t notice because I was compos mentis and stoic).

My advice now would be to make a huge blubbering fuss and take all the drugs.

Its fucking painful but all depends how long it goes on for and how tired you get and how you cope tbh

For me, it was like very heavy period pain. I suffered really bad period pain every month and was diagnosed with adenomyosis (I’m now going through menopause) and it was like that, but gas and air worked well. The problem was that 17 hours later and still in labour, I was exhausted then had a spinal jab which took away my good intentions of no epidural as my son then had to be delivered ventouse-style!
It’s amazing how the body accommodates though!