On a scale of 1-10, how painful is giving birth?

[rogantano]

I want to give birth to a baby naturally but my pain threshold is non-existent… my mum is worried about the day I give birth because she said all I’ll be doing is screaming

Great post. It is like hard work that's why it's called Labour. I forgot any pain as soon as my baby was born. I didn't have any complications though and the birth was pretty straightforward.

That’s actually a good thing, the lower your pain threshold the faster your natural endorphins- pain killers will kick in.

Screaming makes the pain worse. It’s ok to be vocal, as in moan and groan like a mama bear. If nurses/midwives any one tells you to be quiet- ignore them.

I did not need médication when I had my children naturally. Pain relief is there if you do need it. A birth plan should always be flexible and have a go with the flow vibe to it as it’s like riding class V rapids in a kayak. At some point you have to let go of the illusion of control and let birth happen.

I had bad periods when I was younger and found the pain similar, it builds, peaks and ebbs away. It comes in waves, so you know that in a minute it'll be gone and you'll have a break before the next one. I made a noise like an elephant and it was really helpful, a release at the peak. At the point I thought I couldn't cope anymore, it was time to push. For me, pushing cancelled the pain and so I had no pain during the pushing.
I had done gentle birth courses that didn't like the word pain, and instead used words like surge. But actually, knowing it would be painful, but with breaks, would have been helpful, as I knew that pain and had spent nights awake in bed, breathing through the surging pains of period cramps.
The best thing about labour is that you have choices. So you can start with no pain relief and can go up a ladder of choices to epidural.

@SparkFinder not everyone gets choices over pain relief. Both of my births I was refused even gas and air. Important not to
mentally rely on them

That's crazy @Pyjamatimenow I'm sorry you had that experience. Why were you refused any pain relief? I'm only going on anecdata but I've never heard of that before. Is that common in the hospital you went to?

My Mum and best friend who’s a midwife cracked similar jokes about me, but I ended up having two
drug-free, non-intervention labours when they both didn’t, so don’t take what’s being said to heart. It sounds like a funny joke when it’s not aimed at you.

My experience where 10 is very bad toothache was that DD1s labour was a solid 6-7 until the last five minutes or so of an 8hr labour when it was an 8. Managed it on just gas and air.

DD2s was more like “fuck that’s an 8” almost immediately, but lasted less than 90mins and the final 60 seconds were “Jesus fucking Christ that’s a 12!” DD2 was the smaller baby, so I assume it was just that all that 6-7 intensity got crammed into less than a quarter of the time. She also shot out like a ball from a cannon and was more or less caught by the midwife like a football. In my notes that final stage was noted as “between 20 and 60 seconds”. Only managed it just on gas and air because it was already too late to do anything else. I’d have taken fucking heroin if they’d offered it.

So basically my experience is that no two labours are the same, even for the same woman. I’ve got physically fit and hardy friends and relatives who were begging for an epidural at 2cm and know what I think of as drama queens- myself included- who did something between gas and air and bit down on a belt. The truth is there’s very little way of knowing what you’ll be until it happens. And when it does there are no medals being given out for bravery, so take what you need, when you need it.

The only thing I genuinely believe in is perineal massage. I’ve only ever heard of myself and one other friend in my pool of family and friends who have given birth who didn’t tear and we were both religious about it. Use decent oil and start as early as your midwife recommends is safe.

Good luck! It will all be fine.

Two different hospitals so presume it’s what most do in the circumstances. I think It’s because with both of mine I didn’t really feel the first stages of labour, and then had rapid second stages so basically went from 5 to 10 almost instantly contracting like crazy. They wouldn’t give me gas and air or anything presumably because it wouldn’t really do anything at that point. Both times I convinced myself I could get an epidural so I don’t think I was mentally prepared for the pain

I think being mentally prepared is important. I didn't like the gentle birth approach of not wanting to put an emphasis on pain. I have heard of a friend who laboured so quickly it was an incredibly intense experience. I think if you know what can happen it's easier to endure.

I’m going to be very honest - about 15 out of 10! The baby was back to back and the pain was continuous and unreal at less than 1cm. Pethidine did nothing except give me a few memory blanks, but the epidural was the most amazing thing. I wanted to hug the lovely anaesthetist who sited it. I went from screaming my head off crumpled in a corner to chatting to the midwife and eating Haribo. That part is actually a lovely memory.

I then had 2 C sections (for other reasons) and those were absolutely fine.