Last-minute registration for childbirth and care on NHS

[BrendaSouleyman]

Hello,
I'm originally from the U.K. but live alone in an EU country and am seven months pregnant with my first child (32 weeks amd 1 day as of 8 December). All my pregnancy scans, blood tests and midwife appointments have been done in this EU country. There's no father on the scene.
My mother, who lives in the U.K where I grew up, told me in October that she won't fly over for the birth, nor afterwards. I was shocked but she simply said she'd be "rubbish". Her attitude seems to be that I've chosen to go ahead with this baby on my own and as I've lived in a big city abroad for the past 21 years, I should get lots of people around to help me, as she has told me repeatedly that it will be very difficult. After her announcement and another extremely selfish and unempathetic remark from my older sister, I got shingles, which is apparently very rare in pregnancy.
I contacted doulas, student mid-wives and night nurses, in the aim of getting support in place for the baby's arrival, which is planned for early Febuary. All very expensive but necessary.
There's also the fact that I live in tiny apartment of just under 33 squared metres. Even if midwives and doulas do come to help at nights or even during day in the first week of the baby's life, I wonder if I'll get to sleep with them in the very next room - I only have one bedroom! Particularly when I'd hear my baby crying (as I am planning to breastfeed).

Then, eight days ago, I tripped and fell badly on the street. I was taken by ambulance to hospital and thankfully scans and monitoring showed baby was fine. I was kept in overnight, but I've never been so scared in all my life.

Since then, I have been highly anxious about walking in the street, and anxious more generally about how am I going to manage with the baby on my own. I don't have a pushchair because I can't carry it up flights of stairs (I live on a second floor without a lift. Carrying a pushchair, cot, etc is too heavy for me at this stage in my pregnancy). Only yesterday, I was beside myself, trying to walk in the rain and so terrified of falling again.

My mother has suggested I return to the area I grew up in (in the U.K.) to have the baby there. Much as my mother is a pain in the ass (and not wlays very empathetic), she would be of practical help, she would cook and help me look after the baby, and she owns an actual house, in which I would stay, and a car - I have neither.
I have contacted the health centre in my native town, they can see I used to be registered there 23 or so years ago, and to get registered with a GP, I need me to complete a form which I then have to return to the health centre in person. I then complete a booking form for a midwife appointment.

My worry is whether all this can be done in time. My baby is due around 2 February according to U.K. calculations (8 February according to European calculations) and I fly to the U.K. on 17 December.
I am petrified that I will be turned away from the hospital when I go into labour or not given proper care if I'm not registered or assigned a GP in time.
Any thoughts or advice, please reassure me!

No wonder this country is bankrupt

Because this person could be purposely avoiding the parent of her baby for myriad reasons. In most cases, it is always better for a child to have a relationship with both parents.

But what has that got to do with NHS charges and care?

You won't be declined care as woman in labour at any hospital in the uk.

How the charges will work seems to depend on location. We used to live abroad, and had no right to nhs care - but did get glasses for the kids when we returned to the uk. If we were just outside London, near the PL when we visited the optician, it was very straight forward once we mentioned we weren't entitled to nhs care, they simply charged us the full amount. It was significantly harder in a much more rural area near my parents - and took several attempts at explaining we really couldn't sign in nhs voucher paperwork, as we weren't entitled.

Also, you will need to get baby a passport before you have any chance of returning.

Absolutely nothing. They're busy being nosy and trying to find something else to peck at the OP about.

Tour mum sounds very uncaring. Why would you give up your life for her. She may still offer zero support if you come to the uk. You may find you have a bigger community when the baby appears where you live. It’s scary to have a baby so your feelings are normal but don’t rush to make any life changing decisions.

I think technically you may be charged but in reality, as a UK passport holder, I’m not entirely sure it actually happens. I’ve registered lots of people who have lived abroad for years (including pregnant women) and as long as we can find your NHS number and you have some ID, it’s fairly straightforward and quick. In fact, these days you don’t even need ID, but it’s always good to get it recorded if you want online services etc.

You don’t need to complete the part of the form that asks when you first entered the UK I don’t think. Registering those who have entered the country officially for the first time is slightly different - but this doesn’t apply in your case.

I’m not at all sure what the mechanism would actually be for charging you, unless its something the hospital picks up on and starts the ball rolling.

Incidentally, as I’m writing this, my radio has come on with a report on the shocking state of maternity care in this country. Are you sure you want to have a baby here? The other thing you might need to think about is your baby’s citizenship and if it’s easier to obtain a European passport in your country I’d stay put!

I lived in a 3rd floor flat with no lift when I had my first. A decent sling was a godsend and I very rarely used a pushchair.

Wishing you all the best OP.

Sorry, meant to say…if you were born in the UK and you’ve been registered at a health centre before (and it looks like this has been confirmed) then you WILL have an NHS number. It’s simple to do a basic search for past patients and they will have seen your NHS number on the screen when they spoke to you.

Omg. Are you for real? How about you let the OP make the decision about how she will bring up her baby. She said there is no father on the scene so there is no father on the scene and I’m sure her baby will be cared for excellently.

go and stay with your mother for a while, you obviously left the UK for a reason.
and reconsider your options in a few months

If you're in the EU, see if you can sort an S2 certificate or EHIC out, so your home country would fund your NHS care. Might be too tight with the timing but worth a try.

I came back from abroad at 8 months pregnant it really wasn’t an issue. I registered temporarily with the Gp of family member I was staying with. Got a midwives appointment within a week. I was referred on to a consultant due to previous birth, gave birth in local hospital. I planned to return to UK full time (and did completed on house purchase and moved when DS was two weeks old. I did have to pay a whacking great smount in stamp duty over 20k so felt that was enough tax to cover me 😁)

Don’t register as a temporary patient, just do a standard full registration.
Ignore all the fear-mongers on here OP. As others have said, if you’re a UK citizen, you’d be very unlucky to be chased for payment and it looks like you have a proof of address at your mother’s. The less research you do, fewer questions you ask and least said the better in my opinion!
I certainly wouldn’t begrudge a pregnant woman healthcare or free prescriptions for her chronic health condition either - make sure your midwife helps you complete your application for maternity exemption certificate too. Although depending on what your condition is, they might be free anyway.😁

What an unpleasant post.

Personally I think expats should have every right to free NHS care. They are British and most will have worked and paid tax in the UK before leaving unlike others who arrive undocumented and get everything free.

As others have said, make sure this is really what you want before moving back. My friend lives in Amsterdam and found the maternity care system there so much better than here. Same with France (my own personal experience). You may find the NHS a bit of a shock.

If your relationship with your mum is fraught you may struggle to live in her space with a new baby. NB you can always get ahead and cook some meals to freeze before the baby arrives, plus if you're in a city there must be takeaway options.

I think it will be more stressful for you to be isolated with an unsupportive family here rather than in your own home. Id stay where you are personally

If op is of child bearing age and hasn’t lived in the uk for 21 years then I doubt she’d paid any tax here

OP what are the health services like where you live? Because whilst the idea of being home with your mother giving some practical help has its attractions you might be in for a shock regarding your NHS care. As pp have pointed out many NHS maternity units are judged inadequate or worse by the CQC, there are shocking scandals going on at some hospitals. And you don’t have to look far on Mumsnet to find threads of new Mums describing the dreadful care they had. Are you aware for instance that these days male partners/husbands are encouraged to stay overnight in the ward with their newly delivered wife/partner? They sleep on recliner chairs and there are many threads of women complaining about lack of privacy and having a strange man snoring away the other side of the curtain. Funnily enough most posters here seem to want their own man there but not someone else’s. Personally I’d find it intolerable, I think it’s a dreadful policy. It would be especially horrible for you being on your own. Hospital food is very poor and most new mothers rely on their partners to bring in supplies.
So if you are in an EU country with good health care I would be very disinclined to swap that for the NHS.
How long do women generally stay in hospital after the birth where you are? NHS seems to kick women out as soon as possible whilst providing minimal care while mothers are in even though they may be recovering from LSCS.
Then there are also matters of your child being born an EU resident and getting passports etc.
I’d honestly stay put and hire in help. If you are having long maternity leave you can go visit your mother a couple of months later to show the baby when you are feeling more recovered.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4g45ev3gkdo?ua_linkname=bbcnews_hungrymothersdirtywardsamosreview_newsuk&at_campaign=crm&at_medium=emails&at_objective=conversion&at_ptr_name=airship&at_campaign_type=owned&at_ptr_type=media&at_creation=NEWS_NLB_WK49_TUES_9_DEC

I’d also stay where you are tbh as the maternity services in the UK are pretty dire. If you can hire doulas etc, it sounds like you will be well looked after. Once you’re no longer pregnant, you won’t be so scared about falling over and stuff plus you will be able to carry the pushchair upstairs. You don’t need the stress of living with your mum (she sounds like she’d be a bit judgy) either. Better to do it on your own in your familiar setting and then get out and about to try to meet new mum friends and go for walks.

Will your mother even be any use to you if you make the move?

Just apply for an EHIC card now and you will be entitled to free maternity care in the UK:

https://maternityaction.org.uk/advice/european-health-insurance-card-and-nhs-maternity-care/

I have private health insurance which covers emergency care and hospitalisation. I have asked them for a prior consent form which I (and the doctor) submit and goes to their medical council for them to cover non-urgent charges while I'm not in France (where I live). It's all a rush, as someone else pointed out. That is the aspect that's stressing me out. A baby being born in France does not automatically get French nationality, by the way.

@Soontobe60 My child has been conceived with a sperm donor. Technically and legally, there is no father, but how nice of you to hound me for that information, which was none of your business. Happy now?

Thank you to the vast majority who have been kind and raised valid points about staying with my mum. She is not uncaring, but has a funny way of expressing herself at times. She has got very judgemental and critical as she has got older, and set in her ways. Although she loves me and will be of practical help -that, versus staying here in France in a place I love but admittedly on my own and with a fear of falling in the street -I can't make my mind up. But I will have to do so, fast, as in a couple of weeks I'll reach the cut-off point for flying.
Thank you all again.

Honestly everything I’ve ever heard about French maternity care versus NHS is that French is vastly superior. I wouldn’t swap a French hospital for the NHS.

I remember reading a column from a uK journalist in France - she was amazed and delighted by the post natal physio and exercise classes that were prescribed. You won’t get that in the UK for a start.