Hello,
I'm originally from the U.K. but live alone in an EU country and am seven months pregnant with my first child (32 weeks amd 1 day as of 8 December). All my pregnancy scans, blood tests and midwife appointments have been done in this EU country. There's no father on the scene.
My mother, who lives in the U.K where I grew up, told me in October that she won't fly over for the birth, nor afterwards. I was shocked but she simply said she'd be "rubbish". Her attitude seems to be that I've chosen to go ahead with this baby on my own and as I've lived in a big city abroad for the past 21 years, I should get lots of people around to help me, as she has told me repeatedly that it will be very difficult. After her announcement and another extremely selfish and unempathetic remark from my older sister, I got shingles, which is apparently very rare in pregnancy.
I contacted doulas, student mid-wives and night nurses, in the aim of getting support in place for the baby's arrival, which is planned for early Febuary. All very expensive but necessary.
There's also the fact that I live in tiny apartment of just under 33 squared metres. Even if midwives and doulas do come to help at nights or even during day in the first week of the baby's life, I wonder if I'll get to sleep with them in the very next room - I only have one bedroom! Particularly when I'd hear my baby crying (as I am planning to breastfeed).
Then, eight days ago, I tripped and fell badly on the street. I was taken by ambulance to hospital and thankfully scans and monitoring showed baby was fine. I was kept in overnight, but I've never been so scared in all my life.
Since then, I have been highly anxious about walking in the street, and anxious more generally about how am I going to manage with the baby on my own. I don't have a pushchair because I can't carry it up flights of stairs (I live on a second floor without a lift. Carrying a pushchair, cot, etc is too heavy for me at this stage in my pregnancy). Only yesterday, I was beside myself, trying to walk in the rain and so terrified of falling again.
My mother has suggested I return to the area I grew up in (in the U.K.) to have the baby there. Much as my mother is a pain in the ass (and not wlays very empathetic), she would be of practical help, she would cook and help me look after the baby, and she owns an actual house, in which I would stay, and a car - I have neither.
I have contacted the health centre in my native town, they can see I used to be registered there 23 or so years ago, and to get registered with a GP, I need me to complete a form which I then have to return to the health centre in person. I then complete a booking form for a midwife appointment.
My worry is whether all this can be done in time. My baby is due around 2 February according to U.K. calculations (8 February according to European calculations) and I fly to the U.K. on 17 December.
I am petrified that I will be turned away from the hospital when I go into labour or not given proper care if I'm not registered or assigned a GP in time.
Any thoughts or advice, please reassure me!