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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Did you know your midwife when you gave birth? Did it matter to you whether you did or not?

100 replies

Snaf · 26/05/2008 12:44

Just out of interest... oh, okay, will 'fess up - I am writing an essay on continuity of care and just thought I'd ask. I know it's not scientific so won't be using this as evidence, promise

But I am interested to know:

did you know the midwife who delivered your baby/babies?
if you did, do you think it 'enhanced' your 'experience'
if you didn't, would you have liked to?
did you not give a toss either way?

OP posts:

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expatinscotland · 26/05/2008 12:45

-No
-n/a
-did not give a toss either way. as long as the person is competent.

CarGirl · 26/05/2008 12:46

I knew the midwife for dc2, she was not a great midwife she actually made some errors - I refused to let her treat me again.

Didn't know the midwives for the other 3 deliveries and I didn't really care. However the think that made the biggest difference was having a midwife that stayed with me whilst labouring rather than them popping in and out to see to several other women and assuming dh and I knew what we were doing!

nervousal · 26/05/2008 12:46

no didn't know her. Didn't care whether I knew her or not as long as she nkew how to turn the gas and air on and get baby out safely

Kassius · 26/05/2008 12:48

Had never had either of the midwives who attended my labour before. That didn't bother me one bit.
I do think we get a bit too precious about this sort of thing.

littlelamb · 26/05/2008 12:55

No I didn't. I was in labour for a few shift changes, and didn't know any of them. I think it matters more to get someone who is empathetic and listens to you- the midwife I had for the first stage was lovely, even though I was in agony, she was very encouraging and friendly. The midwife that replaced her was very authoritarian and unsympathetic, and I didn't like her at all.I don't think knowing her before hand would have changed that tbh

Original poster

Snaf · 26/05/2008 13:03

Verrry interesting, thanks all. Anyone else?

OP posts:

ChasingSquirrels · 26/05/2008 13:04

ds1 - no, didn't know them, wasn't bothered about knowing them, didn't give a toss.

ds2 - no midwife for the birth I delivered him myself, didn't know the midwife who eventually arrived, would have been nice to have my community midwife turn up, but didn't really matter to me.

shrinkingsagpuss · 26/05/2008 13:06

there's anotoher thread like this going already.....

shrinkingsagpuss · 26/05/2008 13:07

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1365/537099?stamp=080526122538

Scoobi6 · 26/05/2008 13:09

similar story to littlelamb for me... I didn't know any of the hospital midwives but wished I could have hung on to one of the early ones. The one I got towards the end sat at the end of the bed picking her nails and saying "push..." in a very bored voice - she was horrid and no help at all!

I couldn't have cared less about knowing them beforehand really, but what was most important was that they were pleasant and supportive when it came to it.

castille · 26/05/2008 13:10

no, none of them

yes I think I would, because my 2nd time she quite dismissive of my requests, needs and preferences; and the 3rd time she was so inexperienced that she didn't believe me when I said that the birth was imminent.

If I'd known them there would probably have been more mutual respect and understanding.

bubblagirl · 26/05/2008 13:13

didnt know my widwife at all

but he was the nicest person was horrible midwife kept walking in and out she was in charge so thought she should have known better

she came in and said have you not had that baby yet in very stern and unsettling voice my midwife told her rightly to not keep just walking in and out and to not make comments to me her patient

she was simply the nicest person i have met and let dp stay the night with me and our ds in recovery

didnt bother me that i didnt know her but i was fortuanate to have a very nice person who made me feel relaxed and comfortable at such a time

where as if id have had the other woman it would have been the worst experience of my life

kazbeth · 26/05/2008 13:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mckenzie · 26/05/2008 13:20

When I called the hospital to say I was in labour with DC2 (planned home water birth) I was told that my community midwife had just gone off duty. I was thrilled!!! I'm sure she is a lovely lady but I just didn't warm to her. The midwife who did come was lovely and perfect for me.
I didn't know her from Adam though but someone somewhere was looking out for me as I believe that she played a huge part in my experience being as delightful as it was. IF my community midwife had not gone off duty and had come to the birth instead it would have been oh so different I'm sure.

itwasntme · 26/05/2008 13:20

did you know the midwife who delivered your baby/babies?

if you didn't, would you have liked to?

did you not give a toss either way?

I didn't mind, the midwife I had was so lovely that it just did not matter.

MKG · 26/05/2008 13:36

No, but my the other midwife who was treating me (and has known me since I was about 2 yo) said she was wonderful so I went in very confident. Actually everyone else that I've met that has had her says the same thing.

No As soon as she walked in the room I got a good feel for her she just had a presence about her that I liked, and had a wonderful way with dh that he will always be grateful for.

JoyS · 26/05/2008 13:47

Didn't know any of the midwives I saw during labor. The one that stayed with us once I was in active labor and eventually delivered DD was just lovely, so competent and encouraging and gentle. I think it would have been nice to have seen her before just because she was very good, but it didn't make any difference to me at the time.

Spidermama · 26/05/2008 13:50

I hired independent midwives. I got on really well with them and even though we are pretty hard up, they were worth every penny.

I was comfortable with them and had four home births with no drugs or intervention of any sort.

The same midwife delivered all of my babies and I will always feel real love and gratitude towards her. An angel in my life.

gladbag · 26/05/2008 13:56

I chose to give birth in a different hospital to the one my community midwife team were based from, iyswim, so I knew I wouldn't know any of the midwives.

As it happened I didn't like my community midwife at all, so was relieved she wasn't there.

I was lucky that I came into hospital at the beginning of a shift, and had a relatively quick birth so had the same midwife throughout. She was lovely, very calm and reassuring, so all was fine.

I suppose in an ideal world I would have liked to have someone who I knew well beforehand, and who knew me, but it didn't actually matter.

hellish · 26/05/2008 13:58

Didn't know my midwife with dd1. She was fantastic in every respect, made the experience a wonderful one.
I met her at a party (dh's work) one year later and she recognised me. We began to socialise as families due to husbands working together.

I asked her to be my midwife when dd2 was born and it did make such a difference knowing who would be there and having total confidence in her. Again she was absolutely brilliant.

5 years later both families moved to Canada to live (with work) and we live 2 minutes apart, see each other all the time.

My kids have known her (literally) all their lives and love the fact that she helped bring them into the world.

mamalovesmojitos · 26/05/2008 14:05

my neighbour was there for the first few hours of my labour but was not there for delivery.

it was great to see her, i was really scared and it made me feel way more at ease. yes, it definitely enhanced my experience.

however the midwife who actually delivered dd was a stranger to me. she was great nonetheless.

so all in all, even though the lady i know was only there at the beginning, i think it definitely made me feel 'safer' and less frightened.

katz · 26/05/2008 14:07

did you know the midwife who delivered your baby/babies?

dd1 - had met once
dd2 - had same midwife all the way through, she delivered and did postnatal to

if you did, do you think it 'enhanced' your 'experience'

dd1 - had same midwife for all but the birth, dd1 was early and see was on hols, had a fab relatipnshi[ with her

dd2 - it was brill, and she didn't let on until our last appointment that my accidemntal home birth had been her first home birth on her own!

if you didn't, would you have liked to?

N/A

did you not give a toss either way?

i really liked being on the one-to-one scheme, it scraed me to think that i might arrive at hospital and be left to it, the one-to-one midwives don't leave your side, at shift changes they over lap by 30 mins to brief each other, luckily my lbours never lasted through a shift change.

Original poster

Snaf · 26/05/2008 14:10

Yes, thanks sagpuss, but that thread's specifically about homebirth; I'm interested in general experiences.

I'm thinking about the possibility that having a known mw in labour means more to the midwives than it does to women. This in itself isn't a bad thing as most measures that increase a mw's job satisfaction have a positive knock-on effect to women, but it is an interesting idea to investigate. Thanks all

OP posts:

choklit · 26/05/2008 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shrinkingsagpuss · 26/05/2008 15:13

Fair enough -

then

did I know the m/w - DS - Yes, one of two -first to scene, DD, yes, one of two, second to scene

Did it enhance experience - yes first time - I was nervous (1st time mum), ad I loved my midwife. She was very cam when it all went tits up too.
Second time, m/w I knew only arrived 20 minutes b4 DD was born, and to be honest it could have been the queen of sheba for all I cared

I think its nice to know them, as long as you feel confident in them. My RL friend is a m/w and I was dreading her being on call, I love her, she's a fab m/w, but i did not want her staring at my fanny mid labour!!

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