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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Did you know your midwife when you gave birth? Did it matter to you whether you did or not?

100 replies

Snaf · 26/05/2008 12:44

Just out of interest... oh, okay, will 'fess up - I am writing an essay on continuity of care and just thought I'd ask. I know it's not scientific so won't be using this as evidence, promise

But I am interested to know:

did you know the midwife who delivered your baby/babies?
if you did, do you think it 'enhanced' your 'experience'
if you didn't, would you have liked to?
did you not give a toss either way?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 09/01/2010 12:14

I didn't know either of the midwives that delivered my 2 either.
In fact second time around with DS I deliberately never chose a home birth as my own community midwife was on holiday when they would have been on call for me and I never liked the one that would be on call.

Never bothered me either way but I was lucky to have midwives on both occasions who were absolutely lovely.
First time with DD the midwife never left me alone unless she was getting something at my request before ex and my friend turned up.
With DS the midwife asked me if I wanted her to stick around or leave me to it and I told her to leave me to it but if I called her she or the student were there like a shot and wouldn't have left again had I not been happy to be left.

DingALongCow · 09/01/2010 17:37

DD-I never even saw her face, I was in the hospital for five hours and I only got a midwife just before delivery. I was leaning forward over the bed to deliver. I remember her voice telling me I still had two hours to go though, three minutes before DD's head crowned. I did bother me a lot, mostly because it just summed up the whole uninterested attitude of my labour and postnatal 'carers'.

DS-No, was someone I had never met before. Only bothered me because I was having a homebirth and had a lovely named midwife who did 90% of my ante-natal care. She made the effort to introduce me to all the other midwives in the team and actually turned up for the first half of my labour. However when she had to take a break I ended up with a hospital midwife who was much less personable and was obviously uncomfortable with the idea of homebirth and was not a member of my local team. I kept her at arms length during the labour and only called them over when I felt he was crowning. I wish my named midwife had delivered me but it was much less important than the first time around.

nomorecake · 09/01/2010 18:03

i went through 3 shift changes. didnt know any of them prior to labour.

had continuity of care with midwife during antenatal checkups, which was excellent.

BellaBalloon · 09/01/2010 18:11

i have really nice community midwives and one of the reasons i am hoping to have a home birth for my first is so that i will have the continuity of care of not having to worry about shifts. however it might not be one of them who is on call which to me will be a shame but the most important thing is that they look after me in a kind, supportive and sensible way.

JodieO · 09/01/2010 18:13

I didn't know the midwife with any of my three and I didn't care either way. Tbh it hurt so much I really wasn't bothered!

Rolf · 09/01/2010 18:17

DC1 - didn't know her at all. She was too busy for me to get to know her. Typical city hospital delivery, and a more personal touch would have been lovely

DC2 - yes I knew her but not well. We'd moved to the area about a month before I gave birth so only met her a few times. I got to the hospital 30 mins before delivery but it was nice to see a familiar face.

DC3 - no, didn't know her. It would have been lovely if I had

DC4 - yes, knew her very well and it made all the difference in the world. It has become, in my mind, the gold standard for giving birth

KittyTN · 09/01/2010 18:21

I would love to have been delivered by a known midwife when I had ds1. ds2 due in 3 weeks and am currently booked for home birth - hated the whole hospital affair last time.

For me not knowing the midwives was actually quite important. Have considered independent midwife just to have a known face.

Have only seen one (lovely) midwife during this pregnancy so far. If she is off shift when I go into labour it will obviously be a stranger again

mathanxiety · 09/01/2010 18:21

did you know the midwife who delivered your baby/babies?

They were delivered by (1) doctor from the ob/gyn group whom I had seen once prenatally; the usual one I had got to know wasn't on duty that day (2) doctor from the group I had seen during my first pregnancy, but not at all during second (3) resident on duty at the hospital (4) resident on duty at the hospital (5) midwife I had seen throughout pregnancy

if you did, do you think it 'enhanced' your 'experience'

No, couldn't care less, felt experience was down to me when push came to shove. I felt confident they could handle any emergency that developed, though.

if you didn't, would you have liked to?

No, didn't worry after having first baby with doc who was basically unfamiliar to me. Especially didn't worry after having third with unknown resident in attendance.

did you not give a toss either way?

No not really; I was confident about the expertise available in the hospital and got quite philosophical as time went by about childbirth. Also, the medical staff were able to communicate well together and my records were all there and available -- everyone who attended me had all the information they needed.

I think it's the quality of nursing care afterwards and even during labour that makes or breaks the experience of labour and delivery.

becky7000 · 09/01/2010 19:44

I didn't know the midwives with any of my 3DCs. In a way I liked not having met them before and probably not having to see them again! They were all lovely and competent and that's what mattered most to me.

jkklpu · 09/01/2010 19:49

Didn't know mine and knew I wouldn't as I gave birth 400 miles away from where I'd had all my antenatal care. Lots of reasons for this (I elected to have both of my babies in my home town in Scotland instead of in London. I have to say that I might have felt more at ease with familiar accents than with overstretched intermittent attention at my local hospital in London. And the midwife I'd seen most often during my antenatal care was hopeless, so was glad that there was NO chance at all of her being involved in my births.

But, dispassionately, I'd say that I wouldn't have cared who was there as long as she was sympathetic and competent and capable of putting my husband and me at our ease as far as was possible.

brettgirl2 · 10/01/2010 15:25

did you know the midwife who delivered your baby/babies?

DD was delivered by the community midwife I had seen at the doctors

if you did, do you think it 'enhanced' your 'experience'

I don't know about 'enhanced the experience' because I didn't enjoy it that much as it was bloody painful. BUT I went through 3 shift changes and so had already got to know 2 midwives previously. It was a real relief for someone to turn up who I knew already and liked. It was also kind of nice that she had 'chosen' to deliver my baby.

MollieO · 10/01/2010 15:33

No. My midwife made it clear that she wasn't at all interested in my care. I had ds prematurely on a Sunday. Despite being based at the hospital she didn't bother to come and see me until the Wednesday. She asked me why I hadn't called her. To which I replied that whenever I had during my pregnancy she had always told me to call the FAU. She then said that as ds was so poorly she wouldn't have to bother with home visits as he wouldn't be discharged within 10 days. Unlike one of the other midwives who visited her charge in SCBU every day (baby only there for 3 days though).

Left me feeling totally unsupported tbh but fortunately NICU/SCBU were excellent.

Had about 4 different midwives during my labour which also was not a good experience.

WidowWadman · 10/01/2010 15:37

Nope, didn't know her but didn't matter much to me either way. I didn't know the surgeon and the anaesthesist who helped getting the baby out either and it still was quite cheery, happy and relaxed.

nickytwotimes · 10/01/2010 15:37

I didn't.

It made a big difference. The mw on duty when I started was perfectly competent, but I didn't like her at all. She was cold and very detached. Luckily, the shift changed and I had a smashing mw, but it was far from ideal.

StealthPolarBear · 10/01/2010 15:39

no, but while crowning I discovered we used to be neighbours

weblette · 10/01/2010 15:41

dd - no and would have liked to, whole experience was overwhelming and unfriendly

ds1 - yes she was one of a team of six community midwives doing Domino care for me. She came to the house when I was in labour, came with us to hospital, delivered him then accompanied us home. Lovely experience.

ds2 - no he was delivered by paramedics as the midwife team didn't have anyone spare to attend my home birth.

ds3 - yes and what I would consider the absolute 'gold standard'. Somehow I managed to have the same extremely experienced midwife the whole way through from booking in to actual delivery.

She wasn't on call but had said she wanted attend my home birth so the hospital called her off duty and she came

Although the birth itself was far from pleasant, having someone who knew me, my views, my family, my capabilities so well was an awesome experience and as good as it could ever get.

GirlWiththeMouseyHair · 15/01/2010 20:00

I had a homebirth and saw my midwife for the last few appointments of pregnancy, she came to my home set me at ease, was wonderful. Luckily she was on duty when I went into labour and personally it was brillaint because I knew she was really pro-homebirth, I trusted her already, she knew where the tea and biscuits were so she could help herself...it's the experience I had and I wouldn't change it for the world, she was incredible.

BUT my friend had the same midwife and after 4 days latent labour, m/w had to go off duty and didn't come back on until the baby was born, friend had 2 completely random community midwives (also homebirth) who were apparently fantastic.

I'm dreading having another baby without my midwife - she still pops round for tea occasionally!

notcitrus · 15/01/2010 20:19

Never met any of mine before (had same one for 2 antenatal appts but otherwise different one each time).

Was perfectly happy with that, partly because I wasn't expecting anything else (no-one had ever talked about 'your midwife' in a way that implied you had one assigned to you until I met MN). Also I had 2 or 3 birth partners with me to do the emotional support stuff (and interpret), so didn't mind or even notice when the MW popped out for 10 minutes or so.

Got to MLU shortly after start of MW1's shift, so felt I knew her pretty well 6 hours later! After that didn't have time/energy for chitchat but the next 3 MWs were perfectly fine. #5 was a bit annoying telling me to pretend I had constipation when I was pushing and I had a go at her telling her that if I were constipated pushing was a bad idea, as it explained on posters behind every toilet door in the hospital! . Terp#1 decided after a bit to stop interpreting and just tell me to push at the right time, to shut me up.

If it were possible to have some continuity of care on the NHS, I'd prefer it to be after the baby was born when I felt a lot more vulnerable - would have been nice if the comm midwife who visited on day 6 was one from my team, rather than one from a totally different hospital.

ChasingSquirrels · 15/01/2010 20:23

with ds2 I didn't met the attending midwife until an hour after he was born!

Longtalljosie · 16/01/2010 06:29

"PS really pissed off with myself that I didn't report her but weirdly 'bigged her up' to all other midwives because I was scared she'd 'get me' if I did!!"

That really rings a bell with me. My two attending midwives were fabulous - and no I didn't know them - but I had a really horrid experience with another midwife during my pregnancy and didn't report it, in part because I couldn't bear to think about it - but also because I thought I'd be labelled a troublemaker and the other midwives would hate me! Irrational, yes, but I'd imagine pretty commonly so in pregnancy...

nooka · 16/01/2010 07:00

No (although in the end they were both c-sections).
With ds (first baby) I would have much preferred to have the community midwife that I had got to know, in fact I disliked the one that arrived on the day (planned home birth) so much that it was one of the reasons we delayed going to the hospital (stained meconium so the home birth was canceled). However ds was delivered half an hour after we arrived, as it turned out he was transverse oblique, and the midwives were a bit superfluous really. The delivery team were lovely though.

With dd I can't remember any of the midwives I saw before the birth, but the one I had was really terrible IMO, which was sad because the other midwives I met when I came in were really nice. Labouring that time was a really scary experience, and the midwife seemed to me totally disinterested and utterly unsupportive. The way that the birth happened was very traumatic and seriously damaged my relationship with dh as well.

I would have liked to think that someone who I had got to know would have engaged better with both me and dh.

TottWriter · 16/01/2010 09:56

I didn't know any of the midwives I saw when giving birth. When I concieved I was in a different health care trust to the one I eventually deliverd in, so that didn't help, but the midwife I saw when I transferred I didn't see a single time after the initial introduction.

The succession of midwives I saw in the day of labour I had in hospital varied considerably from the brisk, rotten woman I first saw (who had initially sent me home despite my having epilepsy and being told I needed to be in hospital for the entire labour not just the end bit..) to the young, friendly woman who kept checking on me through the night to the wonderful, wonderful woman who was there at the end, and who I will never forget, despite there also being about three consultants doing the actual pulling out and subesquent stitching up. (I had a ventouse delivery in the end.)

I didn't really think much about it at the time, and the concept that you might have one midwife all the way through hadn't occured to me - I was told in my first healthcare trust that it just didn't happen. (and I was 20 and very impressionable so didn't question it at all)

sweetkitty · 16/01/2010 09:59

The first time no I didn't know the MWs at all.

The second and third time yes I did as they were both homebirths. The third time especially it was great, the MW had been to our home quite a few times, knew DP and the other DDs, knew me and my labour preferences. She knew my history of fast labours so came as soon as I rang, she knew I liked to be left alone to labour not fussed over and poked and prodded. It made the birth really good to have someone I really trusted to help me.

LEMONADEGIRL · 16/01/2010 15:14

I asked my community midwife if she would be with me in labour as I really liked her but she said no as it wasn't something she did - she did seem pleased that I asked though.

In labour didn't know the midwives but didn't care as was getting on with birthing him and dealing with it all.

thesecondcoming · 16/01/2010 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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