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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Did you know your midwife when you gave birth? Did it matter to you whether you did or not?

100 replies

Snaf · 26/05/2008 12:44

Just out of interest... oh, okay, will 'fess up - I am writing an essay on continuity of care and just thought I'd ask. I know it's not scientific so won't be using this as evidence, promise

But I am interested to know:

did you know the midwife who delivered your baby/babies?
if you did, do you think it 'enhanced' your 'experience'
if you didn't, would you have liked to?
did you not give a toss either way?

OP posts:

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deaconblue · 26/05/2008 20:08

no had never met her
n/a
wasn't bothered either way, the midwives I had with both babies were really nice and helpful which was all I cared about

TotalChaos · 26/05/2008 20:09

No and not bothered. I went through at least 2 mws during my labour due to shift changes so continuity was broken.

motherinferior · 26/05/2008 20:13

First baby: yes. I had a very good team - Oakwood, King's - and a lot of continuity and it made a lot of difference to my nasty birth.

Second baby: my regular community midwife wasn't available. Instead, I got one midwife I'd met once before - and whom I knew by reputation, she's famous round here, totally brilliant woman; and one I'd never met before. They were both fabulous. Marvellous women. I love them both madly.

So I'm saying that yes it's better to know the midwives especially if the birth is vile, but it's not essential. IMO it's the quality not the continuity that matters.

ChirpyGirl · 26/05/2008 20:17

Didn't know either, first mw left as DD2 crowned, literally just walked out, prob cos I had been telling her to fuck off for the previous 10 minutes (she was convinced DD2 was not crowning) second mw was lovely.
So no continuity of care through birth can be a good thing!

Pinkveto · 26/05/2008 20:18

Had met my midwife once, was perhaps more trusting in her because she worked on a one to one team so clearly had a professional attitude that she could cope with whatever was coming and plenty of experience.

What made a difference was knowing that she would be there through the whole labour, not skipping off at a minute past shift leaving me with an unknown quantity.

I dont believe that the mw who came in to sort aftercare (needed to stay in for a bleed) would have let me deliver in the pool, she just didnt have the same sort of attitude, confidence or ability.

I am worried that I will get the second in 11 weeks time, not the first.

I may not care I guess.

CantSleepWontSleep · 26/05/2008 20:26

No
n/a
Wasn't bothered - hadn't expected to know them.

I did get the same midwives with me for as good as the whole labour experience though.

ScaryHairy · 26/05/2008 20:26

I didn't know either of the midwives with me during labour/delivery. I also did not see the same midwife twice during my ante-natal care.

It really did matter. I had a complicated pregnancy, and having to constantly re-explain my condition every time I went to the hospital did not help.

As I did not know either midwife, I did not feel safe with them, especially when they said or did things which seemed to contradict what I had been led to expect. The lack of continuity also meant, for example, that noone at any point asked me if I had a birth plan or discussed it with me as part of my ante-natal care. Appointments were about checking I was medically ok and that was it (so I felt the "caring" part of it was lacking).

jingleyjen · 26/05/2008 20:31

But I am interested to know:

did you know the midwife who delivered your baby/babies?

DS1 - No, Midwife I had got to know well during pregnancy was on holiday the week I gave birth DS2 - Yes, Lovely midwife who is sadly now on long term sick leave.

if you did, do you think it 'enhanced' your 'experience'

DS1 - I didn't think it mattered I had a great experience and liked the change of styles as it was a long slog. DS2 - It was lovely knowing her as we chatted about music in between contractions.

madamez · 26/05/2008 20:31

Well, the MW I saw for most of my pregnancy (had a lot of antenatal appointments due to high blood pressure) was v nice but went on maternity leave when I was about 7 months PG: when I went into hospital I had loads of different staff because I was sent in to be induced by GP and (as is always the way with late-September babies) it was like rush hour in the labour ward... but after one particularly tiresome bitch I was very pleased to see the midwife who'd taught my antenatal class. Of the others, there was a nice camp male one who delivered DS and a female trainee who was supposed to be going off shift but wanted to see DS born as she'd been there all along.
It mattered more to me that I had fab birthing partners (my mum and my best mate) and they were there all the way.

booge · 26/05/2008 20:32

Yes with DD, I changed Dr specifically so she would be my midwife. She's brilliant, always goes above and beyond and I wanted her there for my home birth.

Bky · 26/05/2008 20:35

No I didn't know her...don't even know what her name was. No it didn't matter she was friendly, knew what she was doing and delivered my baby safely, and for me thats all that mattered.

PortAndLemon · 26/05/2008 20:35

No, and I didn't give a toss. In theory, I can see arguments for continuity of care, but in practice I find fundamentally I want to be mostly left alone in labour and so don't really care who the midwife is so long as she's pleasant enough. I managed to schedule my second stage over a shift change this time and was appreciative that the first mw stuck around for an extra 20 minutes until DD was out even though her shift had ended -- I suppose that's a continuity of care point as well.

Continuity of care through my antenatal appointments I did value.

Habbibu · 26/05/2008 20:36

did you know the midwife who delivered your baby/babies?

No, but did know cons who assisted

if you did, do you think it 'enhanced' your 'experience'

Not really, mw was fab, but think it helped in the end that I knew cons, and that he knew me - was a bit tricky towards the end, and he helped me avoid intervention. But MW was just lovely - a very calm, soothing and friendly woman.

if you didn't, would you have liked to?

Not really - like I said, total bonus that cons was there, but was v. happy with mw before that.

did you not give a toss either way?

pretty much!

Pixiefish · 26/05/2008 20:37

i didn't know my midwives when i gave birth but they were really lovely and i got to know them while i was in labour so was fine

choosyfloosy · 26/05/2008 20:41

No and I wish I had. I had what to many women would be the ideal midwife, she was very hands off, very quiet, very experienced (I found out later). She was also pretty stressed I think and at some point said that she hoped I would have a long labour as she found it difficult coping with a series of births during a shift as it was all so emotional (it sounded a lot better than that, but that was the message). I then felt guilty about labouring quickly and after ds was born, I worried about the rest of her shift and how stressful it would be. I desperately needed a much more bossy midwife - well, no, not bossy, just warmer and more hands-on, who would sit by the pool and hold my hand and encourage me, and perhaps try to interpret the half sentences I was getting out to see if there was something that was worrying me. She said afterwards that my DH was so good that clearly I didn't need anyone else. NOT true, i needed HER to be truly with me, not sitting in a corner quietly taking notes. However, this approach is a specific midwifery technique and many articles on the subject rave about it and say how fab it is for the mothers. Not all of them.

I think even if I'd ended up with the same midwife I would have been better able to interpret her if I'd met her before, and vice versa.

bluewolf · 26/05/2008 20:42

I did know the midwife (she was one of 6) and as soon as I met her I prayed she would be nowhere near me during labour as she had a weird spiteful streak that came out while she was taking my blood samples.(VICIOUS!)
To cut a long story short, I was supposed to give birth at Kings Hosp but the baby started to come before EDD (by a couple of days) when I was supposed to be having a check up by MW. She grudgingly came to my house as I had contractions, rammed her hand so violently while checking something or other that she broke waters. She then appeared to freak out, said she had paperwork to do and ran off to sitting room. Every now and then she shouted DON'T PUSH! from the other room, while I frantically called dp on mobile. As soon as he came home I pushed for all I was worth against her instructions in the hope that once baby was born she would fark off.
In this way she sped the labour up, I think! Mybe I should thank her for being so scarey?

Sorry, didn't cut long story very short! Hope this helps with your research!
PS really pissed off with myself that I didn't report her but weirdly 'bigged her up' to all other midwives because I was scared she'd 'get me' if I did!!

kama · 26/05/2008 20:43

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MaeWest · 26/05/2008 20:44

did you know the midwife who delivered your baby/babies?

Yes & no - had home birth so had 2 midwives, one of which was 'my' midwife

if you did, do you think it 'enhanced' your 'experience'

My community MW ended up delivering DS. TBH I was rather dreading her being there as I hadn't really warmed to her during antenatal appts, particularly as she wasn't that supportive of homebirth. However, when push came to shove as 'twere, she was fine. The other MW who'd arrived about an hour or so previously was FANTASTIC. I'd never met her before, but she was v experienced, calm etc. She spent the first 5 mins or so just sat on the sofa observing. She was matter of fact (bossy even?) but was just what I needed at that point as I was knackered and feeling like I couldn't do it.

If I'd had 'my' mw there from the beginning, I suspect she would have put my back up...

warthog · 26/05/2008 20:45

no, didn't know her.

didn't need to. she was lovely to me and i am grateful for her kindness. but i didn't feel i needed a relationship with her.

cat64 · 26/05/2008 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pickie · 26/05/2008 20:58

Ds, No I didnt know her but she was a close friend of my MW (she as on hols)

DD yes, this time she wasnt on hols and she was on call so she did the whole labour

Nice but not tooo bothered

maudacious2 · 07/01/2010 22:20

We used Oakwood Midwives at Forest Hill surgery for the birth of our son in December 2007. Firstly, they were very accommodating in taking me on when I had only recently moved into the area. They were supportive about my birth plan (home birth, water birth etc). I was haivng contractions which didn't get any closer together and our midwife was fantastic in getting me into Kings College Hospital for some pethidine and getting me a bed so I could try and recoup some energy and then go home to continue with my planned home birth.
However, the pethidine didn't work and I was so exhausted that I was admitted on the Tuesday morning (contractions having started on the Sunday night previously). I then decided that I wanted an epidural- I was so tired and in so much pain. Once I had decided that, our midwife completely washed her hands of us. She went to attend another homebirth and we subsequently discovered that that woman had actually been admitted to Kings with complications so our midwife had come in with her, but didn't even come and see how I was- if I had had the baby or anything. One of her colleagues (Julie), did come into the room but only because she had been on a course and needed a baby to weigh and check over for her project! There was just no follow up from Oakwood whatsoever- we never heard from our midwife again. It was as if once we uttered the dreaded 'epidural' word and were no longer going for a 'natural' birth, they didn't want to be bothered. As it was I had a very traumatic and interventionist birth experience at Kings- forceps, crash teams running in at the end etc but the Kings staff were excellent and both myself and the baby were fine.
We were extremely disappointed with Oakwood. I am now pregnant with my second child and moved out of London, but we would never use Oakwood or recommend them to anyone after our experience.

MakemineaGandT · 07/01/2010 22:26

no, didn't know them either time. Didn't give a monkey's who it was, just that she was nice

in fact I'm glad I didn't have the one who did my appointments during pregnancy - she used to annoy me

thelunar66 · 07/01/2010 22:28

I thought i would care, but I didn't. I got a lovely student the first time and I cannot even remember who delivered my 2nd.

PootleTheFlump · 07/01/2010 22:37

did you know the midwife who delivered your baby/babies?

Yes, she was one of the 2 who cover my surgery, though not my named MW. She did my home birth prep home visit as my MW was on holiday, so we had had a really long chat in my home environment before she saw me huffing & puffing on all fours!!

if you did, do you think it 'enhanced' your 'experience'

Definitely! It was so good knowing she had met me under normal circs, so I felt less "judged" iyswim? My team organised a weekly coffee morning for pg mums and each MW in the team (about 11 iirc) tried to attend every once in a while so if you went to a few you shouild have at least seen most of them. Made a big difference for visits afterwards, as I had someone different each time, but had met all of them.

if you didn't, would you have liked to?

n/a

did you not give a toss either way?

I absolutely loved the way it all worked out for me, and appreciate it was pure luck. I don't think it would have been a bad experience if I had not met her (the 2nd MW at delivery and the one who came to take over straight after were from other teams in the city and they were lovely too and a great help with feeding and stitches etc), but it made it especially "enjoyable" for me, and I think it helped my husband that he had met her at the home visit.

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