What' s the general consensus on male midwives?

[mimismummy]

Just curious really. Had a conversation with a friend today who says she would be fine with it. I'm not so sure, but I don't know why, really, as I am fine with male doctors and nurses caring for me. Just wondered what other people felt about this and whether anybody had any experience of this.

it's different for everyone.

Personally I think I'd flip if Noel Edmunds came within 50 yards of me. Revolting beardy freak.

Hab - very sorry for your loss. I am sure the loss of a child does change your perspective - I know I was much more anxious in my pg's after a miscarriage than I was in my pg before it.

When I had my first child in hospital, I wanted DP there every step of the way. He made me feel safe and protected. When I had my other two at home, I wanted to be on my own, as I already felt safe, and I just wanted to listen to my body with no distractions.

I KNOW I have been very lucky in my birth experiences, and the opinions I am giving are just those that I have drawn from what happened to me .

Lister, even if no one agrees with you or shares your experience that doesn't make it less relevant or justified so who cares if no one comes forward?

only thing i would say is that no strangers works very well in case everything goes smoothly- not taking anything away from you but you have been lucky to have this experience, in other circumstances you may have wanted medical practitioners of any sex to help out. there is no way of knowing IN ADVANCE that everything will be straightforward, and that is only parlty dependent on how much you get into yourself etc...

everyone is different and has different experiences. i know some couples where they decided jointly the male partner wouldn't be there- others for whom it's unthinkable to go through it without their man.

Odent's opinion is just, well, an opinion. he is a wonderful man who has contributed massively to the natural birth movement, but that doesnt mean we have to follow him in everything!

I would rather not have a male midwife (or a male GP for that matter). The man who was in the recovery room after I'd had my cs with dd2 could not take his eyes off my tits (I was attempting to bf) and it made me very uncomfortable. I'm assuming he was a nurse (maybe not ) and they were the size of basketballs, but I minded that he was staring, and I would not have if it had been a woman.

Thanks, LS. I do understand the need to concentrate and focus, but in my case I'm pretty sure that DH would help, rather than hinder that, and another woman (ie someone who hadn't played a part in the creation of this child) would be more of a distraction. DH is pretty good at holding back and just being there, mind.

I had a wonderful experience with a male midwife so am biased. I thought he was perfect and would request him/a male midwife again. I thought he 'managed me' really well (I too get on with men better) and was great at keeping the induction docs (all male) far away. I delivered naturally in water, as I ahd wanted, laregly due to him. I think you need to know what shuts you down and what wncourages you in labour before you have an opinion on this. If a male in the room is going to trigger your shutdown, get him out of there (my mw says he is regularly asked to leave and understands)!

All that said, I had a doula along for the ride who was very maternal, brought the woman vibe in spades. It was a great mix, along with DH. And funny enough we also had a male health visitor which we adored - I almost think they have to try harder, being men in a 'women's profession'. It's a nice role reversal!

I am a midwife and have a male colleague who is lovely and is a fantastic midwife who is extremely good. We also had a male student but he left when he qualified.

Not so much bothered about the male/female discussion here but like the bits about people seeing your bits, judging your lady garden and having to see the people again. Also seeing breasts.

NO way would an SHO becoming near me to suture my perineum, even if they were supervised, its unnecessary. They're all training to be GPs and its not a skill a GP needs. The midwives wouldn't do my cannula themselves, even though they can and because it was me they wouldn't ask the SHO, who might usually do it. They got the registrar to do it. Who probably hadn't done it for yonks as the SHO or midwife does it.

12 (that I can think of) of my colleagues have seen my bits and some have also seen my massive norks. The doc who did the ventouse was a man. Of course he also stitched my episiotomy. He was very paranoid about my stitches healing and got the male MW who is my friend too, to text me about how it was!

I have to go back to work there! Imagine the pressure on me to have a nice lady garden and behave nicely in labour (I talked drivel the whole time cos of the drugs)

oh god no,

lets face it most of us shout and take it out on our dp not because they got us pg but because they r men and they will never know what it feels like to go through childbirth so y would u want a male midwife unless u had no choice that is.

because they're there to do a job, hans.

and if they're competent and have a good attitude i couldn't care less what their gender is.

The best internal exam I ever got was from a male OB/GYN.

I've had a few men and women doctors and midwives. Some men have been terrible some women have been terrible.

I'd rather the person have skills instead of a vagina.

Much prefer a female. Don't know why men think women would want them dealing with down there. Seems a creepy job for men to do. I certainly wouldn't want them.

I had 2 male midwives, maybe 3 (I was on so many drugs at that point I only remember a man sitting in the corner of the recovery room, writing. He could have been a midwife or dr) and they were both really good. Male registrar delivered ds5 and he was great too (although embarrassing as he was very good looking and I had a raging womb infection and really wasn't looking my best!)

This thread is 9 years old!

TOTALLY fine with it! In my opinion the lady or man bits of the person looking after you doesn't affect the care they give you.

If you've gone through labour then you know how many times a midwife or doctor puts their hand up your lady area...you just don't care who sees it in the end. I can't even believe I thought about whether I shouldn't trim down there for labour 😂

Hahaha totally didn't notice the date!

My midwife for my first labour was horrific. She was mean, dismissive, impatient and said some bloody rude things in her attempt to calm me down, which only made me feel worse. She also witheld pain relief. She also didn't notice my daughter's heart rate dropping and my mum had to point it out to her, and only then did I get the first HCP throughout my whole pregnancy who was actually a decent source of support that was comforting and confidence instilling, and because of his attitude and approach to my birth meant I could still have the intervention free birth I had wanted.

So for me it does come down to personality, empathy and understanding. a shitty attitude had by far the worst impact on my birth experience - much worse than the pain and worry about DD. There are shut unkind female midwives and there are great ones, and likewise for male.

Saying that, while I am happy for them to be there for labour and delivery Im not very comfortable with the notion of having a cervical examination from a man, but then I am against them anyway. They are uncomfortable enough with a woman's hand though

Haha oh dear!

Wouldn't bother me. I found the female midwives condescending and not in the least bit empathetic. A male couldn't be any worse.