Hi all,
My daughter was born sleeping on 31/12/24 at 38 weeks 5 days. I spent the day and night with her and the morning of yesterday… walking her down to the mortuary at around 1pm yesterday. Leaving the hospital arms empty is the worst feeling in the world but waking up today I feel unquestionably shitter.
i chose to say goodbye when I did as she was beginning to change colour, her lips were almost black, the skin on her face was very very dark and her skin started to peel. Anyone who has lost a baby will know that they also bleed from their nose and ears which is very distressing. My 13 year old daughter had requested (against what I thought was right) that she would be present during the time I spent with Lottie and this made my decision even more important. I don’t want to traumatise my daughter.
I’m now sat here considering running back to the hospital and spending every last second with her and I feel so incredibly guilty that she is alone.
Is this normal? I honestly don’t know what to do right now. I don’t know what is right or wrong or how I’m ever going to have any sort of normal life after this.
anyone that has experience this please