Why do so few FTMs manage birth ‘naturally’?

[hopingforapeainapod]

Hi all, am 24 weeks with my first baby and have started online antenatal classes and have been quite scared by the stats they have shared with us. In my trust, 25% of first time mums are induced, 25+% end in c section, and around 25-35% end in instrumental births. Anecdotally, I have 4 friends who have given birth this year for the first time, and 3 have ended up in emergency c-sections, and 1 ended up with forceps and some quite nasty complications. Another one of my friends is now having an elective c-section because she has heard so many horror stories. All of this, plus all the maternity scandal and birth trauma stories in the news recently, has somewhat thrown my confidence and I now feel like giving birth vaginally without intervention is the exception rather than the norm. My mum also had complications with us (I was born via epistiomy and ventouse) and I’m quite petite, and I guess I am just doubting my ability here…!

Remember that you'll never hear positive stories because people don't like to tell them in case they're accused of being smug or whatever, so stories you're told will always skew towards the horror side.

It doesn't have to be like that. My first was a long back to back labour at home, with her cord around her neck. Gave birth naturally at home. Pretty sure I would have ended up with interventions in hospital because there's no way I would have been able to stay calm in that environment.

Do what's in your control to help skew the odds, and then on the day there's an element of luck as to how it'll go for you. I have lots of friends who ended up with straightforward natural first births, so it is possible

Yep!

Yes, you gave birth vaginally but it is also classed as an instrumental assisted delivery

Isn't it because babies are now bigger than ever due to our unhealthy habits meaning we overeat?

@Wantitalltogoaway I know what inherently means thanks and childbirth is inherently dangerous. There are factors that make it more or less dangerous, but in itself it is fundamentally dangerous. There are many things that could go wrong, there are two people involved and so many variables. The fact that medical progress has made it less dangerous in recent times, only underlines the inherent danger. See also - natural selection (though I'm guessing that's not really up your street...).

Getting in a car is more dangerous than most things we do, and? I didn't say one should avoid childbirth, just that it's dangerous.

Don’t listen to hypnobirthing quacks! My birth plan was for me and baby to come home alive. That’s it. That’s the only birth plan you need.

Giving birth naturally is such a weird phrase to me. It’s completely natural to die in childbirth. Not something to aspire to. Also have friends who got so taken in by natural birth talk that they suffered PND when they needed an intervention instead of being happy they and baby were ok.

I read this awful story during the week. https://www.thejournal.ie/maternal-deaths-ireland-2-6421898-Jun2024/

I completely agree with you. It IS dangerous because there are so many variables and things that could go wrong. It is LESS dangerous for women today in developed countries with access to amazing modern medicine and technology, but of course it is inherently dangerous, which is why maternal and infant mortality rates used to be far higher in developed countries in the past, and continue to be high in the developing world today. If we all just free birthed at home, our mortality rates would rocket again.

Recent case in point: the poor lady in Ireland who freebirthed at home AMA and died.

I’m pretty sure I know what you’re insinuating by some of that, but I shall rise above 😊.

I think the issue here is that we are presenting childbirth as inherently dangerous to FTMs and these messages are out of context and unhelpful.

The more fear women have surrounding birth, the more likely they WILL need intervention and have worse outcomes for themselves and their baby.

OP was asking whether anyone managed to give birth without intervention as a FTM and the answer is very much yes!

OP, if you’re still reading I hope you can put this thread into context and go and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and feel empowered by your body’s ability to grow and birth a baby — with or without intervention.

@Wantitalltogoaway

The more fear women have surrounding birth, the more likely they WILL need intervention and have worse outcomes for themselves and their baby so it’s women’s own fault if they need an intervention as they weren’t being positive enough and were afraid? Wow. Just wow.

Don’t listen to hypnobirthing quacks!

I think that’s so unhelpful. It’s not either/or — hypnobirthing or intervention.

I had my babies in a maternity unit in a large hospital and if I had needed intervention I would have happily accepted it.

But with my third baby hypnobirthing helped me to relax and manage pain in a way I hadn’t before. It was brilliant for keeping me calm and birthing a big baby without panicking.

Surely whatever helps is good?

You absolutely know that’s not what I am saying.

Thanks for confirming it.

I have given birth twice naturally. I didn't go into it thinking it wasn't dangerous.... So patronising to think that women can't deal with the truth.

That’s exactly what you said. Being afraid of giving birth is a completely normal reaction. Telling women if they are afraid it’ll mean they need intervention and have worse outcomes. What are you trying to achieve by saying that? All you will do is make women who are afraid blame themselves if they need intervention or have a bad outcome.

shocking way to speak to vulnerable women @Wantitalltogoaway

Thank you, those blathering on about how they had vaginal births because they were so fit and active were just LUCKY.
So many factors are at play that can't be controlled.
A C-section doesn't mean someone has done something wrong or not tried hard enough

It’s luck a lot of the time

I was a very fit and healthy 26 year old when I gave birth to DS. I had a brilliant pregnancy, I had been active and went into labour on my due date.

I had failure to progress and couldn’t dilate past 5cm. Nothing worked. They tried a drip after a while and that still didn’t help. After 32 hours of contractions (most of which were agony until they finally allowed an epidural at 4cm) I got poorly and developed sepsis which I passed onto the baby and had an emcs. We were fine but kept in for a week on antibiotics. In the Olden days we absolutely wouldn’t have survived and I’m so grateful for modern medicine.

This isn’t evolution. Selection by evolution takes many generations. Not because in the last 100 years we’ve had intervention.

I acknowledged the luck in my post. But at the same time, why not put yourself in the best position possible if you can by being fit and healthy and learning all about it? Yes it might all still go wrong. But at least you know what the options are.

I think the problem with giving birth is you don’t know beforehand how long it will take or how painful it will be. On top of that you are worried that baby will be born healthy.
So there’s never a point (except as baby is delivered) when you can say ‘oh not long now’ or ‘it’s going fine I can relax’ - so you are (or I was) anxious and not relaxed. So more likely to agree to intervention.
Try your best to be relaxed and go with the flow. But not easy…

I think there’s a middle ground here right - childbirth is dangerous, it is much less dangerous nowadays, and for some women it is much more dangerous for than others. Our bodies are both designed for it but also not really so much any longer due to the way we have evolved. I also completely agree that a lot is luck and there is no failure in intervention; I really don’t want to beat myself up because I don’t have the ‘perfect’ birth, but it’s hard when like I said there’s a lot of ideological sway (on both sides - both the hypnobirthing / NCT brigade but also the more medicalised side).

I am trying to see any birth plan that I do make as a preference and I’m not beholden to any one particular mode of birth: to be honest I just want whatever is safest at the time and what is least likely to leave me with long-term effects.

I guess I’m surprised in a way though that given how high the chance of needing intervention, that more women don’t opt for elective c-section. I obviously understand that c-sections come with their own risks and longer recovery (normally) but it takes away a lot of the uncertainty and unpredictability, which for many women (myself included) is what fuels anxiety. Anxiety feeds off the unknown, and birth first time round is very much unknown!

I had hyperemesis gravidarum throughout the pregnancy and started back to back labour exhausted and dehydrated. Staff couldn't have cared less, the lack of awareness of what HG can do to your body is criminal.

From week 5 getting through the day in constant nausea, frequent vomiting and spaced out from medication was a constant challenge, my pre pregnancy fitness regime a distant memory. Many women don't have a choice as to how their pregnancy or labour goes.

Excellent post by @Dartwarbler

Yes definitely. I found it easier to go with the flow second time around mainly because I'd done it before and I knew that I wasn't likely to be there for a whole day. But if you are in pain, breath work definitely helps, and the techniques I'd learned in yoga and hypnobirthing helped- that's not to say there is no room for drugs or medical intervention but at least try breathing properly because it isn't actually going to do any harm and may do some good. I was at the hospital by the way - I always wanted to have the option of more intervention or emergency care because that made me feel safer than being at home.

Mothers are made to feel bad about pretty much all of their choices so let's not make giving birth one of them please! Intervention is needed for lots of reasons. I'm very fit (ran London marathon recently) but needed an emergency c section because babies heart rate was dangerously low and she had wrapped her neck around the cord and was in distress.

Hopefully unintential but lots of women will read this and feel bad that they didn't have a "natural" birth so to suggest that they are to blame doesn't sit right with me, and isn't helpful to the OP who is understandably nervous about giving birth for the first time!

A friend who is an obstetrician says they err on the side of caution (more intervention) as a result of an increase in patients threatening to sue them. Medical insurance fees for obstetricians are probably the highest across all medical specialties.

I think you have the right attitude OP, to go into it informed and with an open mind.

I was always expecting the potential of a long labour and a c-section as that was how I was born. I also heard how much more difficult the recovery can be after major surgery so would not have picked it by choice, and as it happened it wasn't required.