My DM had 3 children between 1961 and 1963. Her first birth, at “cottage hospital” went on for 4 days, resulted in forceps delivery and 4th degree tear. She gave birth at home, as was norm, vaginally, for the remaining births- all long and all with smaller tears
6months after I was born she was sectioned under mental health act for post partum psychosis. By the time she died 10 years ago we’d pretty much sussed out she’d more likely has PTSD from her first birth which had remained undiagnosed as it was back then- women did not get PTSD or shell shock as it was more commonly known as. My first 3 years were spent in care of my grandmother mostly . This absence had profound affects on my siblings and I which we didn’t come anywhere close to understanding until we were adults. Not trauma or abuse in its own right, but shaped our relationship with each other and our parents particularly.
my DM spent her life picking up pieces of this birth. She was still prolapsing her bowel into her final months, she had numerous operations to stop bladder prolapses, she had a hysterectomy. Her mental health was never the same, I suspect she suffered with mild depression all her life,she struggled with grief of being separated form her babies and small children for years, and the damage that did to bonding . She was also fucking angry she was not taken to the major hospital for a c section, in time during those 4 days on labour.
when I gave birth to my first child in mid 1990s, my labour very quickly mirrored my mothers experience. Baby’s head wouldn’t engage properly, contraction kept stopping, water breaking early on . 2 days in and I called it out and demanded a c-section. I was not going to go same route as my mum. Second baby I went into a “trial by scar” conversation with midwife at hospital expecting to have to fight my corner to have elective section- I didn’t have to fight , midwife said immediately that big baby with big head combined with my unusually narrow hips wasn’t going to suddenly result in a successful vaginal birth . DM and I were both close to 6foot tall, with very narrow hips in relation to our height. We both had very long babies with big heads. 🤣still are at 6”7 and 6”6 !
my mum was “lucky” to have survived her first birthing experience, thanks to the , albeit pretty poor, intervention back in the 1960s. But I know she didn’t feel lucky most of the time, she felt uncomfortable, restricted, and suffered mentally. I feel very blessed that the nhs and medical knowledge put my health and well-being above statistical targets.
We have seen numerous incidents of maternal deaths, stillbirths, brain damage scandals etc as a result of “why can’t it all be natural” fantasists and theorists running maternal services.
https://inews.co.uk/opinion/the-role-of-the-natural-birth-movement-in-the-nhs-maternity-scandal-is-being-ignored-1558556
Every decision for intervention should always made at an individual level, based on that birth and risks vs benefits.
Yes, we can argue that mqybe there is a bit too much intervention, but that is a purely emotional response, or one that’s also be driven by financial targets. In reality we still need good quality epidemiological studies to figure out if and why intervention is rising and what are the long term (lifetime )benefits and risks to mums and babies. For instance mums are getting older, we can’t change those factors without removing women’s autonomy . Babies are also bigger than 100 years ago, and more so in developed countries. We can’t stop that nor would want to. So there a whole bunch of potential causes or correlations which would need to be untangled to get to heart of what is happening and what level of intervention at a population level is “acceptable or normal”. But we all know that money for such a massive research program, in such a high risk area, with little scope for ,stuff like double blind studies is not going to happen. Ever.
Statistics by themselves are wholely meaningless and scaremongering. That has led to some devastating massive damage to mums and babies and families at some hospitals as a result of knee jerking “birth should be natural”
OP, make your birth plan in best case scenario. But think and note also what you want if baby is overdue and needs inducing, or you need c section. It is not “failing” to give birth naturally. You have already done 24 weeks of hard graft growing a human from 1 cell you contributed, and 1 your partner contributed, to the little bump you’re just becoming aware of. By the time you get to birth YOU , and only you, will have grown that to a baby of flesh, bones, cells, blood muscle skin and everything else form your own bodily resources. If you decide to breast feed you may continue to grown that 6-9 lb of flesh and blood to 30 lb of flesh and blood. And bloody hell that’s no mean feet , exhausting, takes it toll on your body for the rest of your life. Women say giving birth is the most memorable day in their lives- maybe becuase we dismiss this growing aspect of pregnancy by terms like “carrying the baby”. You’re not “carrying a baby” , nor are “we pregnant “. You are alreasy doing the most most astonishing thing a human being can do - focus on that. Celebrate that. The birth is about getting you and little one through it safely, as painlessly as possible. It is one day. You will have 40 years of days plus with your baby then!
stop reading the scary statistics - control what you can control