Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

What does it actually feel like to reach pushing stage?

106 replies

Ididivfama · 30/09/2023 20:12

I’ve never got that far and really want to know! How long does it take and what helps?

OP posts:
Exactfare · 30/09/2023 20:13

Feels like you need a poo 🙈

Doidontimmm · 30/09/2023 20:14

Yep feels exactly like that! It can take 5 mins or hours.

YouAndMeAndThem · 30/09/2023 20:14

I don't think I could describe the feeling, I just knew! My body was pushing and I was barely able to control it.

Berthatydfil · 30/09/2023 20:14

Its just an overwhelming need to push, that the only way I can describe it.

TippingTree · 30/09/2023 20:17

There’s no way I could have stopped it once it started, it was completely involuntary, I just had to help it along. During my second labour, it was the most in control I’d felt as I knew what I was doing and it meant that the end was in sight. It actually felt weirdly empowering.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2023 20:22

It takes as long as it takes to get to the pushing stage - I’m sorry that is not informative but every labour is different.

For me, when I got to the pushing stage, my body took over - the push just happened. It was a pretty overwhelming feeling, but in a good way, and my sole focus was on each push.

The first time, I was pushing for an hour and a half, which was pretty exhausting, and it felt as if I was getting nowhere fast. When the baby’s head started to descend the birth canal, that was another, different feeling - it’s hard to describe the sensation of something that big and hard in a space that had never felt anything like it before - but it did mean we were getting towards the end, which was good.

With the second and third, the pushing stage was very quick - I did feel as if everything was out of my control, just before the pushing stage with ds2 - I really noticed the transition phase that time, which I hadn’t before. With ds2 I pushed for a couple of minutes, and with ds3 it was even quicker.

I hope this answers your question - they are 26, 28 and 30 so I am casting my mind back a long way!

Original poster
Ididivfama · 30/09/2023 20:22

That’s really interesting! Is it the most painful bit? What’s helps?

OP posts:
DaisyWaldron · 30/09/2023 20:24

It varies. With DC2 it was like people have described, an uncontrollable urge to push, similar being desperate for a poo. With DC1, the bloody midwife pulled out of my little nest of safety just as I was in transition and I didn't really have an urge to push, and had to consciously bear down during contractions, and DD was pushing against my lower back and tailbone so it hurt as she moved down.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/09/2023 20:25

I remember with my first, the pushing bit being sweet sweet release from 56 hours of agonising contractions.
2nd one, the pushing hurt, cos I hadn't had time for any pain relief.

Bizarrely I'd take the first option again, as it was so easy to push her out because I knew the contractions would then be over. The second one, I couldn't be bothered to push.

Playdoughcaterpillar · 30/09/2023 20:27

It feels like you need a massive urgent poo, it's less painful as you're kind of more focused on the outcome. And the contractions have somewhere to go to.

Original poster
Ididivfama · 30/09/2023 20:28

arethereanyleftatall · 30/09/2023 20:25

I remember with my first, the pushing bit being sweet sweet release from 56 hours of agonising contractions.
2nd one, the pushing hurt, cos I hadn't had time for any pain relief.

Bizarrely I'd take the first option again, as it was so easy to push her out because I knew the contractions would then be over. The second one, I couldn't be bothered to push.

What pain relief did you have?

OP posts:
Dragonsandcats · 30/09/2023 20:30

Yes, like you need a poo. I didn’t realise. Got to hospital with my first dd after they’d tried to put me off coming in and found I was fully dilated.

Dragonsandcats · 30/09/2023 20:31

Don’t remember finding the pushing painful. Just hard work. Took me nearly 2 hours!!

BooseysMom · 30/09/2023 20:31

I remember with my first, the pushing bit being sweet sweet release from 56 hours of agonising contractions.

Ooh, just the thought of 56 hours of contractions is enough to make me faint!! With my one and only, I never got that far as when the contractions started, it was so intense I screamed for an epidural! They said it was for the best as I was an old mother! I will never know the feeling of pushing. I pushed when they said and felt nothing, DS got stuck and I was rushed to the theatre then he eventually was pulled out, although I had assumed I would have a C section. I never went through it again. I wanted another so much but I was too old as I was nearly 41 and knackered!! 😂

justasking111 · 30/09/2023 20:31

It was a fantastic feeling because I knew the end was near for me it was a whole body spasm, a wave that carried me along. I grunted it was really primeval. I don't recall pain at all.

Coffeedrinker7 · 30/09/2023 20:33

It’s a bit like that feeling when you throw up - your body takes over and you can’t NOT do it, even if you wanted to. That’s why it was so bloody pointless when the midwife was telling me not to push (and yes I tore!)

BertieBotts · 30/09/2023 20:34

Crowning is definitely the most painful bit. Open your mouth really wide, then put two fingers in the corners of your mouth and pull outwards until you can feel a burning stretch. Keep pulling just a little bit further. Hold it for about ten seconds.

Now imagine that but on your vagina, and it doesn't last ten seconds it lasts bloody ages (probably about 30 seconds in reality but feels like forever!)

However crowning isn't all of pushing. IME, the contractions get steadily more and more intense throughout active labour, at this point they're really close together too. You're basically at the point where you're like "FFS I can't do any more, I literally can't, can this baby just be born now please?????" So there's this muscle pain every minute or so and it's honestly a bit of a relief to be able to push because it feels like you might be making progress, but it takes forever to actually make any progress.

The crowning is maybe the last 2-3 pushes IME.

BlueIgIoo · 30/09/2023 20:36

With my second, my waters broke and I very suddenly felt her head descend to, what felt like, right between my legs. It was a fascinating feeling and so unlike my first, slower birth! It literally just felt like a baby's head in my vagina - far too big and needed to get it out immediately. One of the most curious feelings to experience and makes me laugh just remembering it.

Knockon · 30/09/2023 20:39

I found it fascinating how the change to the pushing stage is completely instinctive, the pain change to rather than the hell of contractions through my pelvis, into a feeling of pelvic pressure as the baby starting entering the birth canal, and my god the noises - contractions were high pitched, pushing was low long moo grunts, I’ve never made noises like it before or since!! And my god the feeling when that baby slides out and its all over, and you know when you start pushing that the feeling is imminent - it reinvigorates your SOUL to keep going hahahah

KissKiss29 · 30/09/2023 20:39

The first time it felt like my butt was on fire! I didn't have pain relief and it was definitely the most painful part.

The second time I knew I just had to get the baby out! I actually screamed, "get out of me!"

Unsure754 · 30/09/2023 20:40

You know that feeling when you are I’ll and your body takes over and vomits?
The feeling of your stomach muscles contracting and then forcing up the vomit with no direction from you?

Exactly like that but in a downward direction.

Tohaveandtohold · 30/09/2023 20:42

For all must births, the midwives broke my water and I then had like a sudden urge to push, the same way you feel when you’re about to have a big poo. That felt like the easiest bit after the contractions. With my last baby, the whole pushing was over in less than 5 minutes

soxthecat22 · 30/09/2023 20:42

It's the most insane pressure you'll ever feel. It's completely involuntary, your body knows exactly what to do. Crowning is fucking painful but the pushing bit sort of stops the contractions and gives you focus. The relief once baby slides out is something else.

I also felt relief when the placenta was delivered bizarrely. Like a relief I didn't know I needed.

ZooMount · 30/09/2023 20:43

As others have said it is completely involuntary, like being sick or needing a poo. It's a deep feeling. The pushing can be tiring as you can feel the baby there as if you are constipated and it won't come so you push like you are trying to poo. Thankfully for me it never took more than 10 mins when I got to that stage but I can imagine if you are there for ages it would be awful. The pain is like a numb burning so I didn't find that as bad as the actual contractions.

IslaWinds · 30/09/2023 20:43

It did not feel like having a poo to me. I felt like I was being split open like a melon. I did tear though. It was painful but not as painful as the contractions of active labour when they are long and close together so you have hardly any break between them.

Swipe left for the next trending thread