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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

What does it actually feel like to reach pushing stage?

106 replies

Ididivfama · 30/09/2023 20:12

I’ve never got that far and really want to know! How long does it take and what helps?

OP posts:
HeathrowQuestion · 30/09/2023 22:18

seriously unlikely to have another baby but I tell you what, if I had my time again and based on posts here I would absolutely have pethidine. It sounds great and I wouldn’t mind being out of it and asleep whilst dilating. Sounds ideal.

Gas and air I did not like, I got numb extremities and it was like being drunk without the relaxation. epidural was too weird, I felt like my legs didn’t belong to me and I had to have a catheter. Smack all the way for me if I have a surprise menopause baby ;)

Sleepyquest · 30/09/2023 22:19

Your contraction are frequent, you want to jump out the window but you also want to take the biggest poo of your life

TheClitterati · 30/09/2023 22:22

I had 2 Dc vaginally and I never felt the "like you need a poo" feeling everyone mentions.

I got an overwhelming "fuck this I'm not doing it anymore" feeling, and then a big pelvic floor push & then a baby.

I had long contractions but when I was ready I didn't do much pushing really.

I did hypop birthing and I really connected with the instruction to "send the baby down my expansive putty like birth canal" 😂😂. So that's what I did.

donkra · 30/09/2023 22:22

Yeah, I can only compare it to being enormously constipated. You are very, very conscious that something really BIG is stuck up there and you're desperate to get it out. And your body just... pushes it out all by itself. In a strange way it was a relief after hours of contractions for them to start being... productive.

Crowning burned like fuck for about thirty seconds and then the head was out and the relief was unbelievable.

roarrfeckingroar · 30/09/2023 22:22

Although I might remember my births so fondly because I didn't tear and felt able to be up and about the same days

fearfuloffluff · 30/09/2023 22:22

HeathrowQuestion · 30/09/2023 22:18

seriously unlikely to have another baby but I tell you what, if I had my time again and based on posts here I would absolutely have pethidine. It sounds great and I wouldn’t mind being out of it and asleep whilst dilating. Sounds ideal.

Gas and air I did not like, I got numb extremities and it was like being drunk without the relaxation. epidural was too weird, I felt like my legs didn’t belong to me and I had to have a catheter. Smack all the way for me if I have a surprise menopause baby ;)

I had pethidine and felt totally stoned and disoriented, then vommed a lot (quite common I think) it wasn't a chilled out kind of feeling!

Agree with pp birth is like pooping or vomiting, you have this weird 'oh my body is doing something I didn't ask it to - here it comes - oh shit' kind of feeling.

The best bit was the insane transition from pushing and pain and hellishness to, one second later, the pain being gone and a hot wet baby laid on you - like stepping into a magical Dreamland or something purely through the pain being over.

TheClitterati · 30/09/2023 22:23

sequin2000 · 30/09/2023 22:17

I expected to push but actually felt like my baby was being pulled out of me. I listened to hypnobirthing cds in the final stages of pregnancy and was completely relaxed. I remember saying to my midwife that I wasn't doing anything and she told me to go with it. I later read about the foetal ejection reflex in undisturbed births.

Oh that sounds familiar- I will look into that.

fearfuloffluff · 30/09/2023 22:23

Whereas my c section felt like when you're on a train and they uncouple a carriage and everything jiggles and bumps, only that's someone rearranging your organs while you're awake

Ilikeyourdecor · 30/09/2023 22:23

When I miscarried, it was like an uncontrollable urge/bearing down feeling. I couldn't possibly have not pushed. It was like a mini labour.

In actual labour I was expecting to feel the same urge, but more intense. I didn't have any urge to push at all, even though the midwife was telling me to as I was fully dilated. Instead, each normal contraction was followed by an awful spasm. I can only describe it like a contraction gone wrong. The baby had to be pulled out with forceps as their head was in the wrong position, so I guess that was the reason.

Mumaway · 30/09/2023 22:25

Hard work, and then this sudden recognition that the head has passed the isthmus and she's really nearly here!

roarrfeckingroar · 30/09/2023 22:26

This is really making me want another baby.

HappyCamperTent · 30/09/2023 22:36

I think it’s a different kind of pain.

The first bit is like heavy cramping and the pushing stage is more stinging and a normal pain like you’ve hurt yourself. If that makes sense.

I think the pushing pain was worse I think because I knew it was causing wounding… such as tearing

SpringGreensPreens · 01/10/2023 00:13

Coffeedrinker7 · 30/09/2023 20:33

It’s a bit like that feeling when you throw up - your body takes over and you can’t NOT do it, even if you wanted to. That’s why it was so bloody pointless when the midwife was telling me not to push (and yes I tore!)

It was like this - my body just did it, I was just along for the ride 😄

ohfook · 01/10/2023 00:18

For me it was others have said - like needing a poo.

You know when you need a poo you just sort of know to push it out, it's the same feeling.

thecatinthetwat · 01/10/2023 00:24

For me it wasn’t like pushing. I didn’t push and didn’t feel like pushing. It was like the baby pushing itself out.

it was the easy bit and not painful, but it’s different for everyone.

ohsuzannah · 01/10/2023 02:15

My body just did it for me. The cord was around my baby's neck but I couldn't stop it and the cord ruptured. Luckily she was ok.

14blackcrows · 01/10/2023 02:39

The pushing stage for me was great! Because I knew it was nearing the end. I also found it much less painful than the transitional stage. Both times I've given birth I found this. You kind of get a new surge of energy and are really focused. I was screaming in pain before hand and really thinking I couldn't do it.. but when I got to the pushing stage I really calmed and was like 'right let's get this done' and my body just did it both times.. it didn't feel like I actively had to think about pushing my body just did it.

WandaWonder · 01/10/2023 02:50

I had one pregnancy and have no idea as I had an epidural they had to tell me to push and as I had no feeling was like they were praising me going to the toilet

No feeling meant no pain so it was fantastic if strange

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 01/10/2023 02:53

It feels like a relief after the long first stage. The pain no longer matters.

MintJulia · 01/10/2023 02:54

This thread has made me a bit envious. After 28 hours of labour I was so exhausted and so full of drugs I wasn't really conscious. I'd forgotten I was having a baby. I vaguely remember ex shouting at me, and wondering quite remotely what he was shouting about, and then I don't remember anything else.

I work up 9 hours later with ds in the cot beside me, so I missed the pushing bit. 🙁

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 01/10/2023 02:56

They tried to move me and told me not to push. It was like saying don't be sick when you're going to vomit!!!
That's what it felt like: vomiting from my vagina !

Lizzieregina · 01/10/2023 04:41

I had epidurals for all 3 so I didn’t feel anything! The nurse told me when to push so I did! Only pushed for about 5 mins each time and only one countdown for my last baby. She came out quick.

Toddler101 · 01/10/2023 04:47

TippingTree · 30/09/2023 20:17

There’s no way I could have stopped it once it started, it was completely involuntary, I just had to help it along. During my second labour, it was the most in control I’d felt as I knew what I was doing and it meant that the end was in sight. It actually felt weirdly empowering.

Agree with this and the empowering comment especially!.Even more so when there's no time for pain relief so you've just.got.to get on with it. The phrase should really be "just woman up and get on with it!"

Toddler101 · 01/10/2023 05:00

HeathrowQuestion · 30/09/2023 22:18

seriously unlikely to have another baby but I tell you what, if I had my time again and based on posts here I would absolutely have pethidine. It sounds great and I wouldn’t mind being out of it and asleep whilst dilating. Sounds ideal.

Gas and air I did not like, I got numb extremities and it was like being drunk without the relaxation. epidural was too weird, I felt like my legs didn’t belong to me and I had to have a catheter. Smack all the way for me if I have a surprise menopause baby ;)

I was asleep while dilating (second time around) - had all my contractions over night from 1am-6am whilst lying in bed and going back to sleep in between each one (every 12mins)! By 6am I wasn't able to get back to sleep any longer and had to start crawling around on all fours to help the discomfort, then the sweet relief of pain around 8am when my waters went, car journey from hell at peak commuter rush hour, then baby arriving less than 20m after getting to the hospital. Only time for a couple of.puffs of gas and air.

Pain relief was managed from the positions I was in (all fours, rocking, head down bum up on the floor) and when waters went!

Dogon · 01/10/2023 08:28

Exactfare · 30/09/2023 20:13

Feels like you need a poo 🙈

This!

We'd just arrived at the hospital. We were just ushered into a room and told someone would be to see me soon, to check progress etc (nobody realising how advanced my labour really was yet!). Whilst we were waiting I said to DH I really needed to go. I couldn't poo, because I didn't need to. DH had to run and get someone as I just couldn't stop the urge to push by this point! In the next half an hour our baby was born. I hope I have this experience with my second as it was all so quick and easy🤞