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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Did you get up and dressed for midwife home visits after birth?

111 replies

Amby1 · 17/07/2023 18:44

Question as above. I'm not sure if you are expected to be up and dressed for these visits or is it okay to be in your pyjamas and even in bed if needs be. Obviously not for all visits, but for the first few is this acceptable?

OP posts:

Mastersosallexpertofnone · 17/07/2023 20:04

No midwives and health visitors do not expect you up and dressed. Some people are up and made up sitting in a pristine house, others we see in the bedroom with them still in bed.
I don't care as long as mum and baby are healthy and happy!

MushMonster · 17/07/2023 20:06

I didn't because I had no idea that they were coming.
Later on, for the health visitor, yes we were ready.

ouse · 17/07/2023 20:07

KateyCuckoo · 17/07/2023 18:49

Personally I did, I got showered and dressed every day but if you don't want to then don't.

Me too. Dressed up would not be the word I would used to describe how I looked but I showered every day and changed into day clothes (joggers and a T-shirt). I wouldn’t have wanted visitors while in my pyjamas.

Holly03 · 17/07/2023 20:08

Up and dressed and showered both times but I always get up at 5am and expect everyone in my house to be up dressed and showered and out the door by 9an regardless if it’s a school or work day. I also did the school run 2 days after giving birth but I’m proactive and I’ve never sat in the house in pjs so birth never really felt like the opportunity to start

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/07/2023 20:10

I was in pjs in bed for the first couple (post c section and nap trapped)

FeigningConcern · 17/07/2023 20:11

God no. Had a screamer who wouldn't/couldn't feed or sleep. Also had an infection a couple of weeks after birth - couldn't manage to get showered and dressed for weeks after birth until mid afternoon, if at all......Do what you need to do they will have seen it all!

whattobuy4 · 17/07/2023 20:11

I showered and got into 'daytime nightie' 😂 and when evening arrived it was back into night time nightie. I found loose nighties more comfortable, helped with feeling so hot after birth.
Midwife did say she had two consistent days of mums dressed and it made her feel like she was forcing it or intruding.

Cece92 · 17/07/2023 20:12

I got up washed and fresh pjs on first few visits I'm not sure if it's done now but I had stitches and the midwife checked them every time she came to see me just to make sure I was healing okay xx

LT2 · 17/07/2023 20:12

Yes. I think I only had 1. The rest they made me travel to clinic! I had an easy birth. Would probably have been a lot more hassle if recovering from a c-section!

bussteward · 17/07/2023 20:12

Oh god all these showered people! First baby I’d only just got her to sleep after being up all night playing “put in the cot, take out of the cot”, resorting to cosleeping, so was sprawled asleep curled around her, wearing the mesh knickers and boobs out, when the midwife arrived. She tucked a blanket over my legs and we did the visit with her perched on the bed. Second baby I was downstairs in pyjamas but only because it was Christmas Day.

maddiemookins16mum · 17/07/2023 20:14

One of the best bits of advice my lovely mum gave me was to always get up and shower asap in the mornings with a new baby. Never missed a daily shower.

EmeraldFox · 17/07/2023 20:18

Always showered and dressed. It makes me feel much better. I do pyjamas in the evening if I'm not going to leave the house or have visitors but I could never stay in them all day. I put my jeans on after showering before moving to postnatal.

Parvolax · 17/07/2023 20:22

I take it this is your first DC 😂you will def be up showered and dressed by 5am! I remember those days in summer pushing the pram round the park at 6am, happy memories but def don’t miss it!

Bunny2006 · 17/07/2023 20:22

I wasn't as we'd only got home around 7pm the night before and the midwife visit was anytime between 8am-4pm. I was hoping to as I feel better having washed and dressed (even in maternity joggers etc) but baby had been up all night cluster feeding and used to always do her best bit of sleep around 6am so I would sleep then too, and turns out they came at 8am
Nothing is expected when you are a new mum

EmeraldFox · 17/07/2023 20:24

My sister didn't realise they were coming and was two hours away visiting family! They only called the morning of the planned visit.

Emmamoo89 · 17/07/2023 20:25

Nope stayed in my jarmies.

Itsatoddlersworld · 17/07/2023 20:25

I showered, put on deodorant and brushed my hair everyday. I then put on maternity leggings, nursing bra and comfy t shirts. I found with the bleeding and the leaking milk I felt really grotty.

Do whatever is right for you - but I think it really helped me that I would start the day everyday and go outside at least once. It stopped everything blending into one.

I also had my nursing pillow, drinks, snacks, TV remote on the sofa and watched a lot of movies and shows!

Simplelobsterhat · 17/07/2023 20:26

For the first visit with my first I remember being embarrassed I was wearing pj bottoms and a nursing bra with cardigan over when the midwife arrived, but we hadn't been told what time she was coming so if I had showered I might have been in the shower when she arrived. And it was Christmas morning so we had been taking our time opening presents between battling to breastfeed! The midwife didn't bat an eyelid at my attire. I do remember then showering and dressing before any other visitors came later.

Do what you feel like in the early days! The difference between day and night can be a bit arbitrary anyway with your first if they sleep as badly as mine did (different with your second if you have to take the first to school!)

Rudimental · 17/07/2023 20:27

See how you feel. I don't think there any set rule. Be kind to yourself. No one really cares in the nicest possible way.

Isthisexpected · 17/07/2023 20:30

Amby1 · 17/07/2023 18:56

Thanks everyone. I'll obviously shower everyday, but might not feel up to getting properly dressed. I'll just take each day as it comes 😊.

I'm not sure about the obvious part. You'll find many old threads here where women talk about various birth injuries or PPD or just exhaustion that meant they were unable or unwilling to shower daily!

Hollyppp · 17/07/2023 20:39

I was in PJs for my day one visit by midwife. Had had a c section and was home after 24 hours.

I was still in pjs and sitting on top of the duvet feeding my newborn when she arrived. she said ‘oooo look at you, the Queen of Sheba, what a princess’ and it was awful.

I look back and wish I’d told her to Fck off. I was too shy last time but I could definitely do it this time (currently 38 weeks…)

RLmadmum · 17/07/2023 20:40

As my midwife said; she'd rather see that both mum and baby were happy and healthy than take much notice of their attire. My midwife often came whilst I was breastfeeding so was used to seeing me in my comfies with my boobs hanging out haha! Do whatever you're comfortably with 😊

WandaWonder · 17/07/2023 20:47

I did just because I did each day since birth it was just what I did, got up washed and dressed I never thought about it I just did it

Squiggo · 17/07/2023 20:48

Yes, they were usually after 9am so I’d have been up to walk the dog already.

Tannedandfake · 17/07/2023 20:50

Always showered as my midwife checked my stitches! I wouldn’t be in bed either

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