Considering ellective C section

[Jbow1987]

I am 28 weeks pregnant and terrified of going through birth again, so I am considering an elective C section. I am low risk so there is technically no medical reason, other than my crushing fear and trauma from my last birth.

Has anyone chosen this? Or had a C section? how was it for you? How was the experience and healing after?

My last birth was traumatic. I felt alone, the hospital didn't give me proper care. I was left in an empty room with no bed or midwife for 12 hours, I ended up hysterical and in so much pain from the contractions. I finally got an epidural and had a forcep & episiotomy delivery. I haemorraged after and the doctor had their whole arm up inside me like a cow to stop the bleeding. I spent 6 days in hospital after birth, I couldn't sit down or walk for 2 weeks and my scar never fully healed. 6 years on and it still reopens inside my anus when I pass a stool. I also have to sometimes use my fingers to pass a stool because the anal muscle is damaged from birth.

I also ended up with severe PND, I was self harming (cutting myself) until my daughter was 3 months old. I had thoughts to harm her too and was under perinatal care for 18 months. Through therapy and medication my PND was resolved, but the trauma never left me and I am still on low dose medication now, but doing great and loving life. I can't wait to be mum again, but I cry everyday about going through birth again. I wake in the middle of the night and feel so petrified at the thought all that might happen all again in just a few months time. I want to be able to bond with my baby this time, and not be so completely traumatised.

My midwife has suggested an elective cesarean due to my previous experiences, and I have an appointment on 10th Jan with doctor to discuss further.

Any stories or advice anyone can offer would be greatly received.

I had a section ten days ago. I spent the first week in hospital as I didn’t recover medically from it - that was lonely and hard as it wasn’t easy to care for my baby without my husband lifting him to me, so at night I didn’t really sleep.

Complications can happen whatever birth you have, so if I was you I’d be working with your therapist to come up with a manageable plan considering all the options. Most hospitals will offer a listening service too to discuss and debrief your previous birth - this can be really reassuring so you can know why things happened in the way they did.

I had a section I'd definitely recommend. The recovery is sore for afew weeks but you don't have all the same problems down below

Thank you, and I hope you are starting to feel a little better now. If you don't mind me asking, in what way did you not heal medically after? Why did you stay a week? I know C section isn't an easy option, but in terms of mental trauma, it feels more doable to me right now. Also my healing after natural birth was horrendous, I also had to stay in hospital for nearly a week. They cut me from my vagina into my anus through the muscle tissues so I was unable to sit/lay/walk for 2 weeks, and it never fully healed. I had a catheter for 5 days to help me pee and I still struggle to poop now 6 years on. So I'm not saying C section will be easier, but my alternate 'natural' experience was truly awful. I have already been working with therapist and midwife since beginning of this pregnancy and had a meeting with hospital to discuss my previous birth notes. But nothing is working, I am just getting more and more worked up over it all as my due date looms nearer. I don't know what to do. I had hoped that facing it again, I would find some strength, but as times gone by I am only feeling worse.

Sorry for what you went through, it sounds awful. Are you worried about having to 'justify' a request for a c section as I don't think it's supposed to be like that anymore and would hope not with your history.

I had an emergency c section with DD and then a VBAC. The c section recovery was less unpleasant than the VBAC where the bruising, episiotomy and tearing down there was very uncomfortable.

I guess there will be people who have good, bad and awful experiences of all kinds of deliveries.

I was fortunate and c section went well with DD born at 10 am and when baby was crying in the night I was able to manoeuvre myself out of bed and get her and eventually negotiate my way back into bed with her.

I was home in 48 hours and able to manage everything I needed to but slowly. I didn't feel pain at home but did feel like my insides would fall out if not held in which may be because I was very big and I did have a pillow in front of the lap part of the seatbelt in the car ride home where every speed bump made me feel like my insides would come out. Also DD was little and easy to carry etc. if it had been DS who was a big lump it might have changed things!

I had a c-section with my first and then a Vbac. I wish I’d taken the elective section the second time.

Thank you for this. It's helpful to hear. I still have issues down below 6 years on. Before this pregnancy I was speaking to my GP about possible corrective surgery from my first birth (which terrifies me too!)

Whereabouts do you live OP? A lot of areas have Maternal Mental Health Services (may have a different name) that are there specifically to help with birth trauma.

This is the link to one in the North West. Has lots of good info and hopefully you’ll have a local service you can access.

www.merseycare.nhs.uk/our-services/liverpool/maternal-mental-health-service

Goodness me - I normally say to consider carefully as amongst my circle, those with C sections had the worst recovery times but with your history I would absolutely go for the C-section, without a doubt.

Yes I am worried they might say I can't have one. And I think I do feel a need to justify it, like somehow I am failing if I opt for a C section given I am low risk with no medical reason to need one. There is a mental risk though of getting severe PND again, and I want more than anything to be mentally well this time and able to bond with baby, and still be there for my eldest 6yr old girl.

I guess there is a fear of the unknown too, in that I've never experienced a C section and don't know what to expect. However I do know what a natural birth was like, and that fear superceeds any Csection fears currently.

It really is so very helpful to hear your story, having experienced both kinds of birth, thank you so much. Your comment was exactly what I think I needed right now, to be able to form a picture of both sides/options. ❤️

They can’t say ‘you can’t have one’ if you absolutely insist, regardless of reason - it’s your healthcare and your choice. Look up articles about this online.

I had an emergency section and recovered very well and am still breastfeeding 1.5 years later. Our bodies and experiences are all different, just do what’s right for you!

Aside from the decision around the birth (and I I were you I'd choose a c section too I think), are you under the perinatal mental health team now? If not, I'd ask to be referred - I should have asked this during my second pregnancy rather than waiting until after the birth. I also had PND after my first.

I've had an emergency section and as a consequence from that emergency, my second baby was a planned section. They are completely different - the planned one was predictable and the recovery was very very smooth. I felt in control and respected at all times and I was able to walk about as normal from very early on. Just take care on stretching and lifting heavy items. For example, Baby is fine to lift, baby in a car seat is not.

It's really important you discuss this with your midwife. Your concerns are valid and anything that will support your mental and physical recovery is important. Be strong and make sure that you feel comfortable and listened to with the decision that is made.

I've had two electives because I've always been terrified of births. They were both thoroughly enjoyable and in my hospital your partner can stay 24/7 to care for the baby whilst thr mother recovers (though I do recommend moving around as much as possible as soon as you can for an easy and relatively painless recovery period). For me, recovery was pretty easy both times around. I can't see you'll have too much trouble getting it agreed with a consultant, but if they are difficult ask them to refer you to a colleague who will do it. I imagine the midwife has already referred you to a doctor who will be ùderstanding.

Thank you ❤️. I'm in the North East, Middlesbrough. I have had a meeting to discuss my previous birth and really thought it would help. But unfortunately I think it might have made things worse, bringing all the memories to the surface and hearing that there is a risk it could all happen again. My episiotomy scar could tear open again, and I am at risk of haemmoraging again like before. But the bit that scares me most is the labour, I found the many hours of labour so excruiating & exhausting last time, I completely lost control. I've never felt so alone and scared in all my life. It didn't help that I didn't receive the proper care I should have, but unfortunately that association/trauma is really hard to now undo, and no amount of talking therapy or hypnobirthing seems to be helping. But I shall look into as much local support as I can, because I really want to know I explored/considered all my options.

My friend had a very similar experience to you (also needed work to repair the damage post giving birth) She initially even the thought of giving birth scared her to the point of panic attack. When she was pregnant with her second she wanted a c-section the midwife was supportive but also helped her access therapy. End result is two more pregnancy neither ended up as csection & both went very smoothly.

Ive had 2 planned csections. First was a dream no issues. Second time I had an infection and a lot more pain and was definitely harder having an older child to take care off. Both experiences completely different. Yet surgeon and hospital exactly the same.

No one can say how it will go but definitely chat to midwife and get as much help/support to help make the right choice for you. (Whether that’s one way or the other)

With your history I wouldn't even hesitate about requesting (insisting) on a c section. I'm so sorry you went though that.

I've had three sections, (two emcs, one planned) and healed well every time, no issues with breastfeeding. Its 10 years since my last one and I get the odd twinge from my scar from time to time, that is all.

I had a traumatic first birth and 3b tear and spent 2 hours in theatre being stitched and the consultant had his whole arm up me a few times trying to stop me haemorrhaging, so I today understand how you feel.

I had to see a consultant at 17 weeks with my 2nd pregnancy due to my birth history and he told me I had options for giving birth this time, I picked an elective section and that was it, no one questioned it or told me I couldn't have one.

It was an absolute walk in the park in comparison, baby is 3 months old now and the recovery was miles better. You should absolutely have the ability to choose the birth you want! Your history alone would qualify you as a "medically reason" especially if you still have issues.

🙈 so many typos! Sorry!

I had an elective section after a bad experience and eventual section with my first .
It was a great experience .Had my son at 10 am and was able to pick him up and cuddle him without any help 12 hours later .Was in hospital for 48 hours and the pain was minimal -think I was so happy with how smoothly it had gone that I was floating on a cloud of happiness /relief as had been dreading it .
Only downside is 18 years later I got a very flabby overhang where my scar is -but that's on me for succumbing to Middle Aged spread instead of fighting it .

Wishing you all the luck in the world OP .

2 c sections. Absolutely the right choice for me. I bounced back really well. I was hobbling around the bed the same evening (catheter was the only reason I didn’t go any further), walking the dog as soon as I was out of hospital and running again about a month after.

There are pluses and minuses but overall I had the right births for me (and went in to do extended breastfeeding in case you’re worried about that).

Thank you, yes I am under them again since the start of this pregnancy, they have been amazing. Wish I had reached out to them during my first pregnancy too. Sorry you also went through PND, it is awful.

Sounds like you had such an awful time last time! You have every right as has every woman to choose to have an elective section. It is NICE guidelines that if the consultant that you meet with does not feel comfortable with the reasons for the request then they MUST refer you to another consultant. I work in this area although not a midwife and in my experience most consultants have no issue with maternal request elective sections. If you do however feel you are made to justify the reason you would like a c section this time, explain the fact that you are still not healed from last time and that you sometimes have to manually evacuate your bowels from damage to your anus. If that doesn't qualify someone for a c section, I'd be highly surprised! I hope you get to discuss this soon and get your mind put at ease. X

Thank you, this is really reassuring to hear. I am hoping for the same kind of recovery! 🙌 but I would settle for a months recovery even, because I never really fully recovered from my vaginal birth. Great to hear about your breast feeding journey too, I would really like to breastfeed this time. I was in such a mess after my last birth that I gave up after 5 days and regretted it. Also my milk didn't come in until day 7, I think because I was so traumatised and lost so much blood it delayed my milk, but by then I'd given up on it.

Im so sorry you went through that, really glad to hear you’re under the perimental health team now.

My sister had a similar traumatising birth with her first, and opted for a section with her second. It was absolutely the right choice for her and was supported by all the professionals, as you should be too. She was able to feel much more in control, and whilst yes the recovery time with a section is worth thinking about, I think it would be worth it for you in this situation. Good luck x

My planned elective sections were peaceful calm and felt very safe. Recovery was easy, I was walking comfortably around within a few days and fully recovered in every way after about 6 months. I am grateful that was my birth experience, especially now many years later as I have no pelvic floor, bowl or bladder issues unlike friends who gave birth vaginally. Everyone is different, but I am small and had very big babies so for me it was the right thing.