Considering ellective C section

[Jbow1987]

I am 28 weeks pregnant and terrified of going through birth again, so I am considering an elective C section. I am low risk so there is technically no medical reason, other than my crushing fear and trauma from my last birth.

Has anyone chosen this? Or had a C section? how was it for you? How was the experience and healing after?

My last birth was traumatic. I felt alone, the hospital didn't give me proper care. I was left in an empty room with no bed or midwife for 12 hours, I ended up hysterical and in so much pain from the contractions. I finally got an epidural and had a forcep & episiotomy delivery. I haemorraged after and the doctor had their whole arm up inside me like a cow to stop the bleeding. I spent 6 days in hospital after birth, I couldn't sit down or walk for 2 weeks and my scar never fully healed. 6 years on and it still reopens inside my anus when I pass a stool. I also have to sometimes use my fingers to pass a stool because the anal muscle is damaged from birth.

I also ended up with severe PND, I was self harming (cutting myself) until my daughter was 3 months old. I had thoughts to harm her too and was under perinatal care for 18 months. Through therapy and medication my PND was resolved, but the trauma never left me and I am still on low dose medication now, but doing great and loving life. I can't wait to be mum again, but I cry everyday about going through birth again. I wake in the middle of the night and feel so petrified at the thought all that might happen all again in just a few months time. I want to be able to bond with my baby this time, and not be so completely traumatised.

My midwife has suggested an elective cesarean due to my previous experiences, and I have an appointment on 10th Jan with doctor to discuss further.

Any stories or advice anyone can offer would be greatly received.

Just to say to all of the women contributing to this thread that have urinary or bowel issues - don't put up with it!
Try pelvic floor exercises (as that is what you will be asked to do by NHS HCPs) see the Squeezy app for help (I have no financial interest in it).
And then, if there is no or minimal improvement, approach your GP for a referral,
I'm standing on an orange box here (you have to be old enough to understand), but women should not have to deal with urinary or bowel incontinence , or other problems, so Always Discreet can bugger off). It's not the way things should be, or what women should find acceptable.
Sorry, @Jbow1987, I went off on a bit of a rant there, but I think it's what you and several other women on this thread need to read. The way women here are treated is unacceptable.

Get it.
Honestly I couldn't recommend enough. I ended up with an emergency section and I was changing nappies on the floor withing 4 days. Driving again within 5 weeks.
I didn't plan a section but I would definitely get another one.
I've had 4 operations in the last year including the section ( unrelated to the pregnancy and birth BTW) and it is by far the easiest for me to recover from.
I was in a ward after right beside the nrses desk, with some lovely mums who were also sections, I was the only emergency all others in the room with me was electives.
Nurses helped me pick up my baby and helped me change her if I struggled and fed her etc
Honestly your mental health is as important so I would very much recommend.

I am so sorry you have been through that OP.

I had a c section and whilst everything is working down below I have had to do a lot of work on my core to get it back in working order after the assault that was my c section. Not the surgeons fault just babe was very much engaged and there wasn’t much room for maneouvre so everything really did get yanked apart to get babe out.

I also had some temporary nerve damage which was very odd nerve wise and no one really knows how it happened.

Unfortunately there is no good way to give birth but c sections are excellent if you want to avoid damaged to the nether regions. Most people have really easy recoveries and no issues so considering you were unlucky the first time I would hope odds would be in your favour this time with a C.

I would ask about what happens if you haemorrhage again during a c section because I was told if that happened and they can’t stop the bleeding quick enough then they will do a hysterectomy because they can’t keep you open for long periods. I don’t want to scare you more by saying this but I did want to mention because this will be on the c section form and should be explained to you so wanted to prewarn you so you could ask questions rather than being shocked by it - which I was when I saw it on the form.

Goodluck 💐

You don’t sound like you are low risk having had a previous haemorrhage and it sounds like possibly a missed 3rd degree tear if is impacting your rectum.

You absolutely can request whatever birth you want.

Thank you for this, needed to hear this. I think I've just got so used to it, after 6 years it's become my norm.

So sorry you are going through that too, I really hope you get the treatment and support you need & deserve soon.

I was misdiagnosed 3 times over this. They kept saying it was a haemorroid (I think because it hangs out much like a haemorroid and obviously frequently bleeds and painful). But after I had appendicitis a couple of years ago I had upset tummy post Op, causing it to tear worse than ever. I ended up back in A&E a few days later with excruitiating bottom pain and some incontinence, I couldn't even sit down at all. It was only then that a doctor said it is actually a large piece of scar tissue from birth and essentially the visible end of a fissure (which with every new tear it seems to get bigger). I don't know how far it goes inside because I was in too much pain for an internal exam. I saw my GP at the beginning of this year to get some more fissure cream in another bad episode and he said I should book back in for an exam when I was more healed, so we could properly discuss further options like surgery... but I never did. I think being nervous to have surgery down there, plus getting appt with GP isn't easy since covid, and also not wanting to delay trying for a baby further (as we already put it on hold after my appendicitis).

I really must get it sorted though as it only seems to be getting worse with every reopen.

But you are so right, if I had been diagnosed correctly the first time I raised it (when my daughter was 6 months old) it could have been sorted then and I wouldn't still be living with it 6 years on.

Won't let me quote you. But yeah because of the haemorrhage after my c-section I had to spend a night in the intensive care unit with 121 care and couldn't even get out of bed/walk. Was in hospital a week and then had to have blood thinner injections for six weeks. But after that point I have been fine.

I haemorrhaged after C-section and they repaired through my vagina. Horrible but not hysterectomy

Good god, have the section. You have been through hell. Read up thoroughly on the risks of a section and if you are comfortable that you are making an informed decision based on your personal preference, the statistics and your knowledge of what is likely to be best for YOU, then tell them your decision. Since the Ockenden report the culture is changing regarding attitudes to maternal request sections (and about time, too).

I had a planned c section 4 months ago. It was scary. I cried before it because I was scared. Everyone was super lovely and calmed me down and even made me laugh. The spinal was unpleasant but not traumatic or even particularly painful.

Then it was the most amazing magical moment watching my son emerge over the drape and having him calmly placed on my chest for the first sticky, mucusy, bloody, most beautiful cuddle of my life.

Recovery was tough and it took longer than I expected. I was in pain for about 6 weeks, discomfort for a further two. I couldn’t really get down to floor level until 2 months postpartum. However, it was doable, and I have a medical condition that means I have slower wound healing. Even with that I am completely back to normal at 4 months. Well, I have slight discomfort/itchiness in the scar from time to time. Really nothing major and it’s still improving. Would whole-heartedly recommend the experience.

Good luck and congratulations- don’t let fear of birth ruin your pregnancy. You don’t have to do it. You can, if you want. But there is another way, and it’s not ‘failing’ to make an informed choice on what is best for you and your body. I’d call that succeeding actually. x

I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who commented and shared experiences and thoughts with me on this. Sorry I haven't got round to responding & thanking you all. But you have all helped me so much, I can't even tell you! I really needed to share and chat over this. It's such a huge decision, and I've had so much anxiety lately, but even just talking it through here has helped a lot. I'm feeling a lot more informed and prepared for my meeting with the consultant in Jan. Merry Christmas to you all xx