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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

free birthing (please don't post if you don't like the idea)

233 replies

workstostaysane · 21/01/2008 21:05

anyone done it, interested in it, read the books?
i'm only just pregnant for the 2nd time - had a totally drug free wonderful home birth first time around and now keep thinking i'd love to do it without a midwife this time. just interested to know if there is anyone else really.

OP posts:
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workstostaysane · 21/01/2008 22:30

thank you so much for all your posts ladies.
ellbell thats kind of how i felt, although if anyone mentioned norah jones while i was in labour, i would have to kill them.
i think dh is going to make me turn off the computer now, but i will be back tomorrow. and if anyone has further thoughts i look forward to hearing them.
many thanks

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duchesse · 21/01/2008 22:35

re the cord- if you wait for the placenta comes out, the cord will have stopped pulsating and the blood flow through it stopped, and cutting it is not at all hazardous. I am not at all qualified in any way on these things, but have had two homebirths with unmanaged 3rd stages. Someone I know had a 7 hour 3 rd stage. Incidentally, the baby in question was not breathing evenly, but was otherwise fine, so the placenta kept supplying her with oxygenated blood for as long as she needed it. Just as nature intended.

katepol · 21/01/2008 22:35

wtss - as I said before, I have had two hands off home births, with a midwife only present as I pushed the baby out. Two lovely, peaceful water births. No intervention, no coaching, just a quiet, confident presence in the room.

I can understand why you want it to be just you and your dp, but surely having a m/w in the house doesn't automatically preclude this?

I am also sure the risk of a problem is statistically small, but surely you can get over your disquiet with having a midwife just so you can feel comfortable that you have made the best provision for you and your baby's health?

I am assuming you are not responding to me because we are cross posting, or is is because you do not want to hear any potential negativity? I am not being negative, but trying to offer you an alternative...

twelveyeargap · 21/01/2008 22:40

I think the midwife is useful, even if it's just for pootling about and getting towels ready and what have you. Means your partner is free to just look after you.

I can see the advantages, sort of. I had a homebirth and as the baby came out, so did a huge, huge amount of meconium (she was 12 days late). If the meconium had come before she was born, then they would have been looking for me to transfer, which quite frankly would have resulted in a distressed mother and an ambulance covered in baby poo. My instinct would have been to stay put. Whether that's because with contractions coming that fast I don't think I'd have been able to climb out of the pool; I'm not sure!

The idea of labouring alone is appealing - nobody to speak to me. I'd like DH and midwife just to show up as the baby was crowning though.

Heathcliffscathy · 21/01/2008 22:50

do you know (and this will just bring me soo DOWN in your esteem) the thing that tickles me the most about this thread, is that freebirthing sounds like freebasing or freeskating (does that only exist in my head?) and calls to mind a really subversive activity.

which i suppose, judging by some responses it is.

Slacker · 21/01/2008 23:32

Most people don't 'get it' - if you can't see why someone wouldn't want a midwife there 'just in case' then freebirthing isn't for you, clearly.

I am interested in freebirthing although I'm not doing it this time for various reasons (having an IM instead). The nearest I got was a not-entirely-unplanned BBA with my 3rd baby. But I've done a lot of reading and apart from Laura Shanley's site/book which I expect you've found, there's this one which I like, particularly the Top Ten reasons for birthing without [a midwife]

There's a lady who still posts on the homebirthUK yahoo group who's had 2 or 3 planned UCs, her stories are on the homebirth site. The legalities are clearer now than they were a few years ago, there's some info on the AIMS site about that, basically it is not illegal but lots of ill informed people including midwives believe it is.

Good luck with your reading and research and join the cbirth yahoo group if you haven't already, it's called c-birth these days if you have trouble finding it.

workstostaysane · 22/01/2008 08:08

thanks slacker, will look into those.

katepol, i wasn't deliberately not responding to you, but as slacker says, the point of free birthing is really to do it without a midwife there AT ALL. so that having her in the next room defeats the object.
don't know how to explain it really, if a midwife is there, so is a medical presence. if there is no medical presence there, the birth is just a totally different thing.
i don't know if thats good or not, it's just something that appeals to me and i'm interested to find out more.

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Mintpurple · 22/01/2008 08:51

If you have employed a midwife to be involved in your birth, she has a duty of care to at least keep an eye on the proceedings, and to sit in another room while you did your own thing is really putting her registration on the line, because if anything bad was to happen to you or baby, she would be (at least partly) professionally liable, at least in the eyes of the NMC.
However, if she were to sit quietly in the room, I suppose that would be a different matter, although as people have said, it defeats the whole object.

As many have said, the chance of anything going wrong is really quite small, and it is just a question of how much risk you are prepared to take, much the same as having a VBAC or an amnio etc.

I had a friend who had a freebirth (she was a student m/w at the time), and she thought it was a fantastic experience, and would do the same if she had another baby.

If you do decide to go for it, I would suggest getting a plastic clamp or some sterilised string for the babys end of the cord, as it can still ooze when cut (and for several hours after).

Good luck in whatever you decide.

lulumama -
'it is a shame that we do not have traditional MWs, women who have not neccesarily trained medically but have attended lots of births and are trained in the traditions of birth...'

In Australia, where homebirths are getting increasingly difficult to source due to the archaic attitudes of the Australian equivalent of the NMC in certain states, noteably Qld, where they persecute and hound out homebirth m/ws, there are a lot of 'lay' m/ws around, who are untrained but have assisted with and, I suppose doula'd (dont know if thats even a word) and because they cant be struck off etc, they do a lot of the homebirths that trained midwives used to do.

sophable - I like the thought of being subversive!

duchesse · 22/01/2008 08:54

Slacker- I think it may be illegal in the US, which is where many of the unassisted birth sites are based, which may have fuelled misconceptions. Obviously it is not illegal to "accidentally" have an unassisted birth anywhere in the world (ie call midwife too late); I think it's the premeditation the US authorities object to.

workstostaysane · 22/01/2008 08:57

i think subversive may be true.

to refuse to hand over responsibility for the process to someone else, you thereby defy the mainstream view that childbirth is scary, dangerous and not normal.

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booge · 22/01/2008 08:58

dd had shoulder dystocia at home which the midwives handled wonderfully. You can't predict something like that and if your baby died because you had decided to have a "free birth" on a whim could you ever forgive yourself. You say "please don't post if you don't like the idea", what do you want, everyone to say "great idea! Go for it"????? Madness.

juuule · 22/01/2008 08:59

I'm Good look worktostaysane.

juuule · 22/01/2008 09:00

Sorry Luck See how I am, I can't even spell right.

duchesse · 22/01/2008 09:11

Can you tell that would have wanted to have an UB as well, had I ever got pregnant again... Despite the lovely NHS midwife who delivered my 2nd and 3rd children at home and in a lovely hands-off way, and let me labour and birth as I saw fit.

cupofteaforone · 22/01/2008 09:13

WTSS, what you are suggesting is actually illegal. You have to have a doctor or midwife in attendance if you have anyone with you. This means that if you have just your husband or partner or a friend then they are acting as an unqualified doctor or midwife which is the problem and could lead to them being sued. In situations where babies are born before the mw arrives this is usually because the birth is fast and problem free which is why there is mostly a happy outcome and everyone enjoys telling the tale, it would be very different if there were complications.

Why don't you have a discussion with your mw and explain that you want to give birth on your own but would like her present in case any problems arise. Remember that she can't do anything to you without your agreement and so you would be able to have pretty much a freebirthing experience but with a safety net so to speak.

Anna8888 · 22/01/2008 09:14

The day a woman gives birth is statistically the day of her life she is most likely to die or sustain serious injury. The day a baby is born is also, statistically, the most dangerous day of that baby's life.

That is why it is wise to have a medical practitioner available during labour and birth.

We are exceedingly fortunate in the Western world that the state covers all/most of the costs associated with medical care during pregnancy and labour and, as a result, the risk of death and serious injury of both mother and baby is hugely less great than in less developed countries.

cupofteaforone · 22/01/2008 09:17

Just to clarify, it is not giving birth on your own that is illegal it's having the other person present when there is no mw or dr IYSWIM because that's the role they are taking. You can give birth up a tree (minus mw or dr) if you like, providing you do it alone.

duchesse · 22/01/2008 09:18

cupoftea- there are so many misconceptions in your small post I don't even know where to start.

Anna- I believe you are adversely influenced in your thinking by the French medical system. You should try reading some Dutch literature for balance.

duchesse · 22/01/2008 09:20

cupoftea- I meant the first one, not the second x posted one.

Mercy · 22/01/2008 09:24

You need to think about your own health during and after giving birth, as well as the baby's.

nervousal · 22/01/2008 09:26

cupoftea- is this in US?
Who is going to sue DH if he is there on his own with agreement of the woman? I wouldn't want to give birth without a MW being there - but if I did decide to have my baby with just me and DH there, then he would be there as DH - not as a midwife. He would not be acting in the capacity of a mw.

Blu · 22/01/2008 09:27

Psychologically, this would have been very attractive to me. I thought I wanted my closest people with me during birth, but once it started, in my heart of hearts i wanted them to go away and leave me alone to do what me and my body could do. I had planned a home water birth - and saw the mw more as a resource that I could call on to support me on my terms - not as a 'just in case'. i.e i associated her presence with a positive force for me, not the casting of doubt on the birth process. I didn't let anyone talk much once I was past transition, I was in the pool and had no g&a etc.

Eventually, we did transfer, but I felt I had done everything I could do to do it alone, and was active in the decision to transfer, and felt much the better for all that.

workstostaysane · 22/01/2008 09:28

with respect cup of tea, you are wrong. it is not illegal.

thanks for the stuff on the cord duchesse, and slacker that website looks great. can't wait to get stuck into it.
and thanks juule

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Anna8888 · 22/01/2008 09:39

duchesse - not at all, that is WHO information

FWIW I had a medically unassisted birth - but in a (NHS) hospital, with a midwife present. So - as natural as possible, but with all the medical security on site, just in case. You never know.

Pruners · 22/01/2008 09:46

Message withdrawn